Gregory's "Shame"

Prejudice has always played a strong role in history. People have been ridiculed based on race, sex, social class, physical attributes and for many other reasons. Shame is not limited to any one ?type? of person. Dick Gregory?s ?Shame? is a narration of his childhood and how shame affected his life; and, although our lives do not seem similar on the surface, he and I share the bond of humiliation experienced in our childhoods.

Gregory was a poor, fatherless, black boy, who constantly strived to prove himself to others. His family had no money for food or clothing. He had one outfit to wear to school every day. There was no running water in their home because the pipes would constantly freeze, but, in order to impress a girl that he liked very much, he washed his clothing every night with melted ice. Gregory often got sick because ?the fire would go out at night before the clothes were dry.? He combed his hair carefully every day and always tried to keep a clean appearance. However, no matter what Gregory attempted to do, he was not given a chance to be anyone but a poor, black boy.

In school, Gregory always had to sit in a special seat in the back of the classroom, ?the idiot?s seat, the troublemaker?s seat.? ?Teachers were never interested in finding out that you couldn?t concentrate because you were so hungry, because you hadn?t had any breakfast.? When he tried to be like his other classmates who brought money weekly from their fathers for the Community Chest, his teacher scolded him. She told him to stop playing games, and said, ?we know you don?t have a Daddy.? This ridiculing caused Gregory to leave school, and not return for a very long time.

Gregory was surrounded by shame wherever he went; whether it was when he attended the ?Worthy Boys Annual Christmas Dinner?, or had to wear the same coat that three thousand other boys wore, all handed out by welfare, there was always a reminder nearby. There was nothing he could do to remove the stigma from himself, and nobody cared enough to try to help him.

I am not black, and I have never been poor. In fact, I grew up as a typical white kid from a typical middle class family. I have two wonderful parents, who gave me everything I could possibly need and more. However, I can honestly claim that I empathize with the shame that Gregory felt growing up, and its lasting effect on his personality and character.

I spent my entire childhood struggling with my weight. I was always referred to as the ?fat boy?. I loved playing all sports, yet could never participate because none of the other children wanted me to be a member of their team since I was ?too fat? to play.

Ever since I was a toddler, my favorite sport has been swimming. My school had an indoor pool, and, in fifth grade, our class was scheduled to go swimming for two hours every week. The first time we were scheduled to swim, I was so excited that I could not sleep the entire night preceding the event. That day actually turned into one of the most embarrassing days of my life. The minute I walked out of the locker room, in my bathing suit, the entire class fell silent. All of a sudden, the other children were all laughing. I tried to ignore them, but, as soon as we entered the swimming pool, many of the boys surrounded me and began poking my ?huge belly?. Some of the larger boys pulled me under the water and yanked off my bathing suit. I was mortified, and quickly grabbed the bathing suit away and ran back to the locker room. Needless to say, it took many years for me to swim with my peers again.

Nobody ever forgets their first love. Just as Gregory had a large crush on Helene, my first love was Lisa. We grew up living around the corner from each other, and I would see her all of the time. When I was fifteen years old, I finally gathered up enough courage to ask her out on a date. One afternoon, Lisa was standing outside of her home with several of her friends. I walked up to her and asked her if she wanted to go to see a movie that Saturday night. To my embarrassment, the girls began to giggle. Lisa, looking mortified, could not even speak. She just shook her head. Then they all walked away from me, while one of the girls started teasing Lisa, singing ?the fat boy likes Lisa, the fat boy asked her out.? Shame changes a person?s life. Experiencing prejudice can haunt a person forever. Some people are fortunate enough to have another person, who will sympathize with his/her suffering, but others have to live with it alone. I truly hope that we can one day live in a world in which all individuals are judged by their inner merits and their actions, not by superficial attributes such as their weight or the color of their skin. And, to increase the likelihood of producing healthy adults, parents should try to ensure that children are not forced to endure the shame and humiliation that will follow them into adulthood, scarring them forever.