Havisham's Wife Monologue

If I have learned one thing in my life, it is that true love comes at a price higher than anything that you can buy at a store. I thought I could manipulate and deceive Drummle in order to get him to love me. I was proud then, and I was convinced that he would love me because I was flawlessly beautiful. In fact, for our first year of marriage it seemed that Drummle really did love me. He whispered sweet words into my ears at night and told me all the things that I wanted to hear. Now, I recall the words that Miss Havisham last spoke to me, and I realize she was right all along.
Frail and shriveled on her deathbed, Miss Havisham whispered, “Estella, I am sorry. Please forgive. Please forgive. Please forgive.”
She kept repeating this phrase until I interrupted her chanting, “What could you possibly be sorry about? I am married to a fine gentleman and I have done everything that you have asked. Rest in peace knowing I have fulfilled your every wish.”
“You will not know love. Never! I have turned you cold, cold as ice. No, cold as the star for which you were named. The Spider will shatter my beautiful star!” shrieked
They became prophecy during my second year of marriage to Drummle. I was starting to bore of our shallow relationship and started traveling more and more to London and Richmond, the latter being where I lived when I was taught my lessons on being a lady. Drummle disliked my traveling and began to question me intensely every day upon my return home. His paranoia turned quickly to anger when I did not answer his inquiries in the sweet, submissive way that wives should answer their husbands. I feared the way that he attempted to control my life, so I told him little of where I went for years. In response to my vague remarks about my traveling, he chose to beat me with his fists so that I would “learn my lesson.” The only lesson I learned was that I had made a grave mistake in choosing to marry