Hell's My Dad Research Paper
“Where the Hell’s My Dad?” Today we are seeing more and more of our youth engaging in sexual relationships. In these relationships, the use of a condom is rarely used if even discussed. Many teens are involved because they are looking for popularity or to feel wanted by another person. These types of relationships lead to pregnancy, which leads into my topic of fatherless households. The men are not ready to be settled down or to be a father, and they leave the mother to raise the child alone. With the growing trend of single mothers in the United States, the effects of not having a father can cause major emotional, behavior, and social problems for the child. It is common to believe that growing up in a fatherless house does have
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negative effects on children; however the opposing view of this is that it does not have any effects at all. “There are very few people saying that they doubt the fundamental importance of mothers, yet there are those that believe that the importance of a father figure is diminishing”(Tischler, 2001). There are those that say that a father’s role can be replaced by another family member like an uncle or grandfather. My view on this topic is that a father, not a replacement, is needed based on my own personal experience. I also know a large number of people who grew up with me that also did not have fathers around and many of them are in jail or have died. I find it necessary that there must be some involvement of a father to help raise the child. When I was younger, I had no father around to teach me how to be a man. My mother tried the best she could to wear both hats, but that was one thing that she could not do. There is a connection that will link you forever to fathers and without one you always feel lost.
According to the United States Census Bureau, “24 million children in America live in biological father-absent homes” (National Fatherhood Initiative, 2013). That is one out of every three children that live with just their mothers. The emotional damages that stem from growing up without a father can cause a child to break down. All of the emotions of seeing everyone else playing and going to do different activities with their fathers can make anger build up on the inside. “Children who grow up in single-parent families are two to three times as likely as children in two-parent families to have emotional and behavioral problems,” according to the National Center for Fathering (National Center for Fathering, 2007). When teens have so much anger bottled up it can unfortunately lead to thoughts of suicide. Unfortunately, teens cannot alleviate stress in a professional manner. This results in feelings of betrayal, love-starvation, and guilt. Studies have shown that sixty three percent of youth suicides come from fatherless homes (fathersforlife, 2005). This means that these children are 4.6 times more likely to commit suicide than from two parent homes (fatherforlife, 2005). Those who do not commit suicide escape that pain by running away and leaving their problems behind. In a study conducted by fathers for life, concludes that children from fatherless homes are 24.3 times more likely to run away (fathersforlife, 2005). Ninety percent of all homeless and run away children come from fatherless households (fatherforlife, 2005). These emotional problems, if not taken care of, can often lead them into other dangerous activities
When I was younger, I would get into fights every day at school. It was not because I liked fighting, but I had some much built up anger that the smallest thing could set me off. For many of the other youth this also holds true. The Center for Disease Control states, “85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes (fatherforlife, 2005). That is a staggering number considering we are talking about the United States as a whole. Fighting results in bad influences on a child’s life. In an article in the San Francisco Chronicle it states that, “Social scientists are finding intriguing evidence that the epidemic of youth violence and gangs is related to the breakdown of the two-parent family” (San Francisco Chronicle 1994). They begin to indulge in illegal things such as drugs and alcohol. “Children who live apart from their fathers are 4.3 times more likely to smoke cigarettes as teenagers than children growing up with their fathers in the home” adds the National Center for Fathering (National Center for Fathering, 2007). A study also states that boys and girls who grow up in single mother households are more likely to commit a crime than those who have both parents (National Center for Fathering, 2007). While under the influence of drugs, one could commit one of the worst crimes they could commit. Children from fatherless homes are 10.8 times more likely to commit rape. To me, rape is one of the worse crimes a person can commit (fatherforlife, 2005). That person cannot deal with the pain, so they want others to feel what they feel. I personally witnessed most of my friends end up in prison because we did not have our fathers around. This not only affects the children, it can continue into adulthood. Harwant S. Gill describes the effects in adulthood:
“…….They do not talk of their shame, because they hide it from themselves and from others, but it emerges in their dreams. They are driven to enact shame repeatedly, not by experiencing it themselves, but by subjecting their partners and lovers to shame. Their anger against the deserting father remains unexpressed, and is revealed, instead, in relation to the therapist, and in other relationships…..” (Harwant 225)
The number of these children growing into adults is mounting. They are yearning to fill that void and ease the pain can result in the cycle continuing. Many of these adults are now ending up in the same position that their father put himself into.
When I talk about social problems, I am not just referring to the ones commonly thought about. Social problems can be a disillusion of clear thoughts and ideas as well. The mothers who are dealing with abandonment are charged with this as well. Twenty-three percent of unmarried mothers in large U.S. cities reported cigarette use during their pregnancy. Seventy-one percent were on Medicare (National Fatherhood Initiative, 2013). It is also pointed out by the National Center for Fathering that “Adolescent females between the ages of 15 and 19 years reared in homes without fathers are significantly more likely to engage in premarital sex than adolescent females reared in homes with both a mother and a father” (National Center for Fathering, 2007). All these girls want to do is be loved by another man. A survey of 720 girls found that, Ninety three percent of those girls say that having two loving parents could have reduced the risk of pregnancy (National Center for Fathering, 2007). My best friend’s sister is a prime example of this statistic. Before she dropped out of high school at the 11th grade, she had 3 kids and had been pregnant 2 more times. She is one of many who fall into the fate from not having a father in the household.
One may be think how can all of these things be caused by something so small? Just put yourself in their shoes and see what it is like to grow up without a father. I know that for myself there were a multitude of questions. I always wondered “why does he not want me?” or “what did I do?” Most of the time, mom has to work two jobs and is not always around. The child may begin to feel alone and want to fill that void with something else. I still have a hard time thinking about why my father chose not to be in my life. It has defiantly had a hand in shaping who I am. Making the choice not to let it send me down the wrong path was imperative in how I am now. Both males and females miss out on certain things that only a father can teach. For the males, that means no father to teach one how to shave or how to be a man and for women that means no one to show them what real love is and means. Without fathers in the households, children are more prone emotional, behavioral, and social problems and it is up to us to stop it.
Works Cited
"Children of Divorce & Separation — Statistics." Children of Divorce & Separation — Statistics. N.p., 2005. Web. 10 Apr. 2013.
Downs, W.R.
"Adulthood Depression, Anxiety, and Trauma Symptoms: A Comparison of Women with Nonabusive, Abusive, and Absent Father Figures in Childhood." PubMed.gov. US National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health, 19 Dec. 2004. Web. 4 Apr. 2013.
Gill, Harwant S. "Psychotherapy of a Fatherless Young Woman." British Journal of Medical Psychology 64.3 (1991): 225-32. Print.
Jensen, P.S. "Father Absence: Effects on Child and Maternal Psychopathology." Www.PubMed.gov. US National Library of Medicine, 28 Mar. 1989. Web. 4 Apr. 2013.
Krohn, Franklin B. "The Effects Absent Fathers Have on Female Development and College Attendance." College Student Journal 35.4 (2001): n. Print.
National Fatherhood Initiative. "Father Factor." Www.fatherhood.org. N.p., 2013. Web. 4 Apr. 2013.
"New Evidence That Quayle Was Right: Young Offenders Tell What Went Wrong at Home." San Francisco Chronicle 09 Dec. 1994: n. pag. Print.
"The Consequences of Fatherlessness." Fathers.com. National Center for Fathering, 2007. Web. 10 Apr. 2013United States.
Tischler, Henry L. "Chapter 1." Debating Points: Marriage and Family Issues. N.p.: Pearson Custom, n.d. 19.
Print.
U. S. Department of Commerce. BUREAU OF THE CENSUS. MARITAL SEPARATION AND THE ECONOMIC WELL-BEING OF CHILDRENAND THEIR ABSENT FATHERS. By S. M. Bianchi. 156th ed. Washington, DC: HHES Division, n.d. Print.
United States. U.S. Census Bureau. Fertility and Family Statistics Branch. Father Involvement and Child Well-Being: 2006. By Jane L. Dye. Washington, D.C.: n.p., 2006. Print.
negative effects on children; however the opposing view of this is that it does not have any effects at all. “There are very few people saying that they doubt the fundamental importance of mothers, yet there are those that believe that the importance of a father figure is diminishing”(Tischler, 2001). There are those that say that a father’s role can be replaced by another family member like an uncle or grandfather. My view on this topic is that a father, not a replacement, is needed based on my own personal experience. I also know a large number of people who grew up with me that also did not have fathers around and many of them are in jail or have died. I find it necessary that there must be some involvement of a father to help raise the child. When I was younger, I had no father around to teach me how to be a man. My mother tried the best she could to wear both hats, but that was one thing that she could not do. There is a connection that will link you forever to fathers and without one you always feel lost.
According to the United States Census Bureau, “24 million children in America live in biological father-absent homes” (National Fatherhood Initiative, 2013). That is one out of every three children that live with just their mothers. The emotional damages that stem from growing up without a father can cause a child to break down. All of the emotions of seeing everyone else playing and going to do different activities with their fathers can make anger build up on the inside. “Children who grow up in single-parent families are two to three times as likely as children in two-parent families to have emotional and behavioral problems,” according to the National Center for Fathering (National Center for Fathering, 2007). When teens have so much anger bottled up it can unfortunately lead to thoughts of suicide. Unfortunately, teens cannot alleviate stress in a professional manner. This results in feelings of betrayal, love-starvation, and guilt. Studies have shown that sixty three percent of youth suicides come from fatherless homes (fathersforlife, 2005). This means that these children are 4.6 times more likely to commit suicide than from two parent homes (fatherforlife, 2005). Those who do not commit suicide escape that pain by running away and leaving their problems behind. In a study conducted by fathers for life, concludes that children from fatherless homes are 24.3 times more likely to run away (fathersforlife, 2005). Ninety percent of all homeless and run away children come from fatherless households (fatherforlife, 2005). These emotional problems, if not taken care of, can often lead them into other dangerous activities
When I was younger, I would get into fights every day at school. It was not because I liked fighting, but I had some much built up anger that the smallest thing could set me off. For many of the other youth this also holds true. The Center for Disease Control states, “85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes (fatherforlife, 2005). That is a staggering number considering we are talking about the United States as a whole. Fighting results in bad influences on a child’s life. In an article in the San Francisco Chronicle it states that, “Social scientists are finding intriguing evidence that the epidemic of youth violence and gangs is related to the breakdown of the two-parent family” (San Francisco Chronicle 1994). They begin to indulge in illegal things such as drugs and alcohol. “Children who live apart from their fathers are 4.3 times more likely to smoke cigarettes as teenagers than children growing up with their fathers in the home” adds the National Center for Fathering (National Center for Fathering, 2007). A study also states that boys and girls who grow up in single mother households are more likely to commit a crime than those who have both parents (National Center for Fathering, 2007). While under the influence of drugs, one could commit one of the worst crimes they could commit. Children from fatherless homes are 10.8 times more likely to commit rape. To me, rape is one of the worse crimes a person can commit (fatherforlife, 2005). That person cannot deal with the pain, so they want others to feel what they feel. I personally witnessed most of my friends end up in prison because we did not have our fathers around. This not only affects the children, it can continue into adulthood. Harwant S. Gill describes the effects in adulthood:
“…….They do not talk of their shame, because they hide it from themselves and from others, but it emerges in their dreams. They are driven to enact shame repeatedly, not by experiencing it themselves, but by subjecting their partners and lovers to shame. Their anger against the deserting father remains unexpressed, and is revealed, instead, in relation to the therapist, and in other relationships…..” (Harwant 225)
The number of these children growing into adults is mounting. They are yearning to fill that void and ease the pain can result in the cycle continuing. Many of these adults are now ending up in the same position that their father put himself into.
When I talk about social problems, I am not just referring to the ones commonly thought about. Social problems can be a disillusion of clear thoughts and ideas as well. The mothers who are dealing with abandonment are charged with this as well. Twenty-three percent of unmarried mothers in large U.S. cities reported cigarette use during their pregnancy. Seventy-one percent were on Medicare (National Fatherhood Initiative, 2013). It is also pointed out by the National Center for Fathering that “Adolescent females between the ages of 15 and 19 years reared in homes without fathers are significantly more likely to engage in premarital sex than adolescent females reared in homes with both a mother and a father” (National Center for Fathering, 2007). All these girls want to do is be loved by another man. A survey of 720 girls found that, Ninety three percent of those girls say that having two loving parents could have reduced the risk of pregnancy (National Center for Fathering, 2007). My best friend’s sister is a prime example of this statistic. Before she dropped out of high school at the 11th grade, she had 3 kids and had been pregnant 2 more times. She is one of many who fall into the fate from not having a father in the household.
One may be think how can all of these things be caused by something so small? Just put yourself in their shoes and see what it is like to grow up without a father. I know that for myself there were a multitude of questions. I always wondered “why does he not want me?” or “what did I do?” Most of the time, mom has to work two jobs and is not always around. The child may begin to feel alone and want to fill that void with something else. I still have a hard time thinking about why my father chose not to be in my life. It has defiantly had a hand in shaping who I am. Making the choice not to let it send me down the wrong path was imperative in how I am now. Both males and females miss out on certain things that only a father can teach. For the males, that means no father to teach one how to shave or how to be a man and for women that means no one to show them what real love is and means. Without fathers in the households, children are more prone emotional, behavioral, and social problems and it is up to us to stop it.
Works Cited
"Children of Divorce & Separation — Statistics." Children of Divorce & Separation — Statistics. N.p., 2005. Web. 10 Apr. 2013.
Downs, W.R.
"Adulthood Depression, Anxiety, and Trauma Symptoms: A Comparison of Women with Nonabusive, Abusive, and Absent Father Figures in Childhood." PubMed.gov. US National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health, 19 Dec. 2004. Web. 4 Apr. 2013.
Gill, Harwant S. "Psychotherapy of a Fatherless Young Woman." British Journal of Medical Psychology 64.3 (1991): 225-32. Print.
Jensen, P.S. "Father Absence: Effects on Child and Maternal Psychopathology." Www.PubMed.gov. US National Library of Medicine, 28 Mar. 1989. Web. 4 Apr. 2013.
Krohn, Franklin B. "The Effects Absent Fathers Have on Female Development and College Attendance." College Student Journal 35.4 (2001): n. Print.
National Fatherhood Initiative. "Father Factor." Www.fatherhood.org. N.p., 2013. Web. 4 Apr. 2013.
"New Evidence That Quayle Was Right: Young Offenders Tell What Went Wrong at Home." San Francisco Chronicle 09 Dec. 1994: n. pag. Print.
"The Consequences of Fatherlessness." Fathers.com. National Center for Fathering, 2007. Web. 10 Apr. 2013United States.
Tischler, Henry L. "Chapter 1." Debating Points: Marriage and Family Issues. N.p.: Pearson Custom, n.d. 19.
Print.
U. S. Department of Commerce. BUREAU OF THE CENSUS. MARITAL SEPARATION AND THE ECONOMIC WELL-BEING OF CHILDRENAND THEIR ABSENT FATHERS. By S. M. Bianchi. 156th ed. Washington, DC: HHES Division, n.d. Print.
United States. U.S. Census Bureau. Fertility and Family Statistics Branch. Father Involvement and Child Well-Being: 2006. By Jane L. Dye. Washington, D.C.: n.p., 2006. Print.