I am merely going to focus on and try to apply concepts of human growth and development to the counselling process to Adolescents stage being age 12-18. This is identity vs Role confusion. This stage has been closely observed as a particularly stressful period of life. This is when adolescents ask who they are and need to establish social and vocational identities; otherwise they will remain confused about the roles they should play as adults. This stage you find a lot of fighting between parents and teenagers. As a counsellor it will be my role to try and resolve these parent-teen conflicts. Sadly at this stage teens are drawn to gangs because a gang gives them an identity, a place to belong, the gang answers this crisis with them. Teens are powerfully drawn to anything that tells them ‘you belong here’ you are significant here, you are unique here. If parents could see teenagers through this kind of lens, having an understanding for the deep issues within the teens heart it would be a powerful ally in aiding their relationship with their teens.
As a counsellor I will approach conflict between a parent and teenager as an opportunity to develop communication skills as well as understanding for the stage of life the teen is experiencing. Ultimately, the goal is to develop or enhance the relationship between mother, teen, father, or in the same cases to address issues of sibling rivalry that may have consumed the focus of the family. Identifying the issues and working through these problems is an integral part of counselling. Once the anger, frustration, or confusion is addressed, individuals have the opportunities to learn about each other and begin to acknowledge their teens as a separate and unique individual. It is through this understanding that a new relationship develops. I will conclude by saying that for many youths it is an unsettling period as it confronts them with marked physiological changes, shifting social pressures, diverse values from which to choose, expectations for school achievements, growing awareness to consider seriously an unchartered future. As a counsellor it is my role to help such teenagers and their parents to learn to cope with the difficulties encountered in their lives.
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