Illogical Thinking Analysis

We are bombarded by illogical thinking on a day to day basis. Every time I surf the internet or pick up a random magazine at the checkout line, I am subjected to constant examples of poor thought processes that often times border on ridiculous. Most recently I found two articles that I found to be highly illogical. By using critical thinking, I will be able to analyze the issues revolving around the illogical thinking in these articles and what some of these implications may be. The first article I found was called "10 Traits Men Look for in a Girlfriend" from a women's website called iVillage. The purpose of the article was to find out exactly what men are looking for in a good partner by "dishing about the 10 traits that every man is
looking for in a serious girlfriend". This line in the first paragraph immediately raised red flags in my head. Any sentence that includes every, always, none or never in it should be taken with a grain of critically thinking salt. This was even more concerning based on the second article that I found. It is called "8 Things Men Try to Maintain the Upper Hand". This was also a relationship advice article but written for a men's online magazine called AskMen.com. The link, however, was also on the iVillage site, with a description that read, "Here's your chance to eavesdrop. iVillage and Askmen.com have joined forces to reveal what's really on guys minds". As the articles went on, I became more and more concerned about the things it was trying to convince both sexes. For instance, in 10 Traits, one rule is that the woman should never make the first move. Again, the word "never" immediately causes alarm for me. The article says, "If the woman is always the one calling, she will never know if he is really interested in her or if it's just convenient for him. She may find herself questioning the relationship every step of the way. Men simply aren't programmed to think like that and therefore are better suited to the chase."
Meanwhile, in the men's article, it says that women love to play games with men for empowerment. These include playing hard-to-get, not returning phone calls, seeing how many hoops they can make a guy jump through. According to the article, "they instinctively know how to keep men off balance and how to keep them coming back, panting for more. Every game a woman plays is a test in her mind - she's testing you to see how much you'll put up with (in other words, how much she can get away with), how desperate you are for sex and how successful your dating life is (the more you tolerate her tests, the more of a dating loser you are)."
So what does this mean in today's dating society? That women will refuse to call men for fear of being needy? That men will not call women because they don't want to be "dating losers who fall into the head games"? Will any one be connecting with anyone or will they just sit at home and obsess about how in control of the situation they are? The statements in the articles are simply assuming that women naturally have relationship insecurities and that her prospective partner will always be the outgoing "chaser" she supposedly needs to reassure her, unless of course he detects it may be a game and then he'll cut her off completely. To me, this entire situation is completely ridiculous.
Another topic both articles discuss is the need to refrain from sex.
Although this should be a very personal, moral decision, the articles have both twisted the reasons not to have sex around. For instance, the 10 Traits article says that "when women have sex, they release a hormone called oxytocin (also referred to as "the cuddle hormone"), which some scientific researchers believe makes women feel extra warm and fuzzy for their partners." Therefore, the article's advice is to wait at least one month into the relationship before being intimate with your new man lest you inflate the significance of your relationship and cause your man to "bolt". However, from the perspective of the 8 Things, the article says "women know they can control men with their sexuality. They know that most men will do anything for even a chance." It then explains the implications of the situation as handing her total control on a plate. Although the article says it in a slightly lewder way, the justification of the abstinence is that you must maintain control of the situation by using sex as a power card. Again, the fact that people actually sat down to write this stuff amazes
me. Both articles continue on and on with this same kind of dribble. The women's article says that a woman "should be her boyfriend's wingman" and help him look good in front of the boss, laugh at his jokes, or otherwise help him shine when you can. On the other hand, the men's article says that "women love to get their way" via tantrums, crying and sexual blackmail. It then offers the advice of "having a backup woman in your stable if your new girlfriend goes ballistic. This way, it's easy to take a walk with the knowledge that you have somewhere to go. "
The 8 Things article concludes by saying that women love to control relationships and that "too many guys just wuss out and hand over all their power". It concludes by saying it doesn't have to be like this, "as long as we guys make the effort to change the balance of this power, to take back the upper hand. Ultimately, a relationship should not be about control, but about partnership - a lesson that women will only learn if we take the upper hand and teach them."
I find all of this to be incredibly frightening.
To think that there must be men and women out there that are honestly buying into this amazes me. I can see how both sexes could read this and set themselves up for relationship failure. When people start to try and be who they think others want them to be, they lose themselves in the process. And who is to say that this is what the other sex wants from them anyway? These articles make very broad generalizations and then create tactics based on what they think the general wants and needs are. When people start falling into these games and tricks, it is my belief that it spirals out of control. Personally, I know that I wouldn't have the patience or even the capacity to be in a relationship with such an apparent power struggle. I'd much rather be myself and be accepted for how I am and accept my partner for how he is rather then waste so much time and energy in trying to behave in the "right"
way.
So in conclusion, next time your are bombarded with illogical thinking, take the time to think it through, especially when it comes to subjects as important as who you are in a relationship with, how you treat them and how you expect to be treated. Playing games to catch a partner or keep a partner do not seem to be worthwhile avenues to venture down. In my opinion, the "be yourself strategy" would be easier and far more beneficial in the long run.