Interpersonal Communication in a Marriage

John and Heather Heat: Letter of Advice
Instructor: Enrique Vasquez
COM200: Interpersonal Communication
Olevia Johnson
September 5, 2012

Introduction: Dear John and Heather Heat,
My name is Olevia Johnson and I am going to be giving you a little advice on how you should communicate with one another in your new marriage. I am going to address the way you should properly use interpersonal communication with one another on a healthy daily basis.
I want to address in this letter: Understand how perceptions, emotions, and nonverbal expression affect interpersonal relationships. Define emotional intelligence and its role in effective interpersonal relationships. Evaluate appropriate levels of self-disclosure in relationships. Describe strategies for managing interpersonal conflicts. Understand the impact of gender and culture on interpersonal communications.
In learning how to understand how perceptions, emotions and nonverbal expression affect interpersonal relationships I ran across this article and it stated , Schachner, Dory A.Patterns of Nonverbal Behavior (Fall 2005) Nonverbal behavior and sensitivity to a relationship partner’s nonverbal messages have important effects on the quality of interpersonal interactions and relationships. The abilities to encode, or express, and to decode, or understand, nonverbal cues are crucial to the communication of emotions (e.g., Ekman, 1988; Siegman & Feldstein, 1987) and are associated with mental health, social adjustment, and relationship satisfaction (e.g., DePaulo, 1992; Noller, 1985). Encoding and decoding abilities are diverse and quite variable, being affected by social context and interactants’ social roles (Snodgrass, 1985). They apply to a variety of content domains, including personal dispositions, behaviors, internal states, interpersonal intentions, self-presentational strategies, and social relations (Bernieri, 2001). –
. Emotional intelligence and its role in effective interpersonal relationships. (Bridgepoint Education, (2011) para2.5 Emotional intelligence is a set of skills that can be learned. We can improve our emotional intelligence by increasing our awareness of emotional issues and improving our ability to identify, assess, and manage our feelings. Emotional intelligence is something that we use to communicate with others and without it we could not be able to understand what others are saying to us and the emotions that they are using to explain to us what is wrong what is just going on in their lives and the lives around us.
When evaluating of levels of self-disclosure a lot of people feel very uncomfortable about certain things they tell a person it could be that they don’t trust a person enough to disclose this type of information or they just want to be more private than others. In chapter 7 (Bridgepoint Education, (2011) Para 5.It states that Most of us willingly give people some types of information such as name and the town in which we live. However, would you give someone your street address? Your phone number? A credit card number? The answer to these questions is usually "It depends." Decisions about self-disclosure are often based on how well you know the other person, your predictions about how he or she will react to the information, your judgment about why he or she needs to know the information, and your assumptions about what he or she will do with the knowledge. In other words, you must know someone well enough or be comfortable enough with him or her to be able to predict how the listener will respond. You must trust the other person not to take advantage of the information you share.
We do not disclose to everyone we know in the same way. You may have some information you are willing to share with everyone, some information you would be willing to share with a close friend, some information you would share only with your spouse or significant other, and still other information that you might share with a close friend but might not tell your family. John and heather these things that you should think about when you are discussing your love life among others these things can harm a marriage , especially the beginning .
Now I would like to discuss strategies for managing interpersonal conflicts, it has always been important to manage the way the relationship of you and another person communicates. You can do this by addressing a problem in the relationship early on. In chapter 9(Bridgepoint Education, (2011) Para 5 it states that you can do this by Your knowledge of the other person and how he or she might react to such displays should govern whether you use any of these methods. Remembering the positive things about your relationship when you are in conflict can often allow you to work out differences and have a mutually satisfying resolution that preserves a happy relationship.
You can also often prevent conflict by using the other interpersonal communication skills discussed in this text and increasing your awareness of your own communication behaviors. Are you unconsciously creating potential conflict situations through your use of threatening language? Is your nonverbal behavior at times domineering or overbearing? Do you get overly emotional during conflict situations?
Paying attention and modifying your behavior, checking your perceptions with other people, practicing effective listening skills, and using the skills of emotional intelligence can all be useful means of preventing or diminishing conflict. Also, resist the temptation to judge others when they do not communicate as well as you would like and try to be tolerant and accepting of the behavior of others when they explain things in more detail than you need, they talk too slowly, or they ramble. These are key things to remember whenever you and your mate or having a bad day I might say , or something did not go right for the other one. I want you guys to understand the impact of gender and culture on interpersonal communications. In the Journal of Social psychology it states that the research on gender differences is quite extensive (Burgoon, Buller, & Woodall, 1989; Hayduk, 1983). Observed differences between males and females typically are attributed to the more affiliative and/or submissive sex roles of women in a society relative to men (Eakins & Eakins, 1978; Henley & LaFrance, 1984); presumably, such roles lead women to establish closer proximity to others, to use a more direct body orientation, and to be more receptive to the use of touch than men are. In fact, studies have confirmed that (a) female dyads interact at closer distances than do male dyads (Aiello & Jones, 1971; Evans & Howard, 1973; Mehrabian & Diamond, 1971), (b) mixed-sex dyads tend to be more proximate than male dyads (Baxter, 1970; Cook, 1970; Evans & Howard, 1973), (c) women allow closer approaches from others than men allow (Dosey & Meisels, 1969; Patterson & Edinger, 1987; Willis, 1966). (d) the body orientations of women interactants are more direct than those of men (Jones, 1971; Mehrabian & Friar, 1969), (e) female and mixed-sex dyads use touch more than male dyads (Elzinga, 1975; Hall & Veccia, 1990; Henley, 1973; Jones, 1971; Major, 1982; Stier & Hall, 1984), and (f) in mixed-sex interactions touch may be initiated more by males (Henley, 1973; Heslin & Boss, 1980; Major & Williams, 1980) or by either gender depending on factors such as culture (Shuter, 1977), type of touch (Hall & Veccia, 1990; Jones, 1986), or age of interactants (Hall & Veccia). In other countries as well, similar results have been obtained (Shuter, 1976, 1977; Sussman & Rosenfeld, 1982). These types of facts are things that you should consider as an interracial couple and try to always defeat the odds
Those are just some of the topics I wanted to address with you so on the rest of your marital journey you can just love one another with less conflict. This is why I felt the need to address the way you should properly use interpersonal communication with one another on a healthy daily basis.
Good Luck,
John and Heather

Reference
Schachner, Dory A.Patterns of Nonverbal Behavior (Fall 2005) www.Proquest.com
Making Connections: Understanding Interpersonal Communications
Bridgepoint Education https://content.ashford.edu
Interpersonal Distance, Body Orientation, and Touch: Effects of Culture, Gender, and Age :Journal of Social Psychology http://web.ebscohost.com