Jimmy's Monologue

That’s just great. My niece decided to leave her children here. I don't remember seeing a sign in front of my house designating it as a daycare center. It's not a place where you drop your children off on date night. I'm not a free babysitter. I am a grown man and I am getting tired of this. Therefore, I'm going to tell you all a story about me. One that I hope you tell your parents. Maybe then they'll stop dropping you off here and my future will have fewer interruptions. I rather be watching baseball god dammit.
Once upon a there was a man who hated clowns. That man was me. They were the vilest creatures on earth. My fight with them began at the circus when I was just a little boy. I was eight and it was during the summer of 3015.
That's how old you are Jimmy. That's when horrible things started happening in my life. Maybe you'll experience the same. Maybe after a lot of pain and suffering you’ll understand why I rather be left alone.
My childhood wasn’t all that bad. In fact, it was great, up until my parents, Milinda and Steve Walker, took me to see the circus. It was in Tennessee and it was a hot night in August. They felt like it would broaden my horizons because I had never been to one before. It was a blast to see the
This clown showed up at a Paralympic event in a semi-truck and smashed an entire wheelchair race. That clown I beat to death with a baseball bat. In another case I even had to deal with a clown dentist. That was perhaps one of the most grotesque cases I ever got involved with. Its patients did not even know it was a clown. This was because it wore a mask over its big red nose. When it came time to floss it would end up strangling them with piano wires. When I caught up with it the beast was wearing a necklace of teeth. It didn't bother to remove the bloody roots. Damn thing stabbed me in the arm with a dental pick and I nearly died from