By: Keith Reddin
FRANKLIN sits on couch, reading paper. EFFIE enters.
FRANKLIN: Effie, is that you?
EFFIE: Yeah, it’s me Franklin.
F: But honey you’re dead.
E: I still am.
F: My God, what are you doing here?
E: I wanted to see how you were getting on.
F: But how did . . . ? I mean you’re dead. Deceased.
E: You know I had to sign up for this trip months ago. They weren’t sure whether I could get off or not. But I really nagged at them so here I am.
F: This is incredible.
E: So you look good Franklin. You got a moustache.
F: Yeah. You look the same.
E: Jeez, I looked the same since I was fifteen. Of course, I started putting on weight, but after you’re dead, you stop worrying about your figure.
F: Where have you been all these years?
E: Jeez, Franklin, this’ll hand you a laugh. I was, well, I still am in hell.
F: You went to hell?
E: Go figure it, huh? Straight into the fiery pit.
F: But you were such a good Catholic, you always went to confession. I figured if anybody was, you were a shoo-in for heaven. Is there a heaven?
E: I don’t know about that, but as far as I can see everybody goes to hell, most of all good Catholics.
F: I’m sorry Effie, but this is tough for me to register all this I mean I buried you and all.
E: I understand.
F: So how’d you get here?
E: I took a cab.
F: You took a cab from hell?
E: No, I caught one at Newark.
F: How was the ride?
E: From Newark?
F: Yeah, I guess.
E: Oh, it was okay. A lot of us there took off today. Is this a holiday or something I don’t know about? Is it some saint’s day I’ve forgotten?
F: Effie, you make it sound like a charter trip to Bear Mountain. You just came back from the dead.
E: I almost got off a month earlier, but it didn’t work out. Plus I’m not in so good with my supervisors.
F: They have supervisors?
E: I got upset at first, and thought I’d never get off, but Doina she talked to me and I decided to try again.
F: You still see Doina, huh?
E: Yeah, she’s the