Long Distance Relationships
Long Distance Relationships:
Can They Work?
Two clichés: Absence makes the heart grow fonder and Out of sight, out of mind. Which one of these two conflicting views is closer to the reality? As it turns out, it does not really matter that much since long distance relationships (LDR) suffer from exactly the same strengths and weaknesses as proximal relationships. Whether two people are going to have fulfilling relationship does not only depend on their geographical closeness. What matters is quality, not quantity. According to one expert on LDRs, "the majority of studies that have been done show no greater risk of an LDR breaking up than any other relationship (Guldner, 2004, p. 6)." An LDR relationship has the same likelihood of surviving as any other romantic relationship. In his studies Guldner (2004) found no connection linking the quality of the relationship and the physical distance between the two people involved. Erin M. Sahlstein (2001) came to a similar conclusion when she wrote that LDRs can be equally (dis)satisfying as proximal relationships on a global level.
So, then, what is the big deal about proximity? When it comes to interpersonal attraction and meeting potential romantic partner, proximity plays an important role. Elliot Aronson (2004) would argue that proximity is a major factor since people who are geographically close have a greater chance of falling in love with each other. Simple logic would tell us that we do not stand much of a chance of getting romantically involved with somebody who is across the globe from us. Of course, with the increased globalization via the Internet and modern technology, this cannot be ruled out; however, it is still much less likely to happen. Once we do get together other factors that I am going to talk about kick in and proximity itself looses some of its initial importance.
The next important factor that helps couples get romantically involved is similarity. According to Aronson (2004) "we fall in love
Can They Work?
Two clichés: Absence makes the heart grow fonder and Out of sight, out of mind. Which one of these two conflicting views is closer to the reality? As it turns out, it does not really matter that much since long distance relationships (LDR) suffer from exactly the same strengths and weaknesses as proximal relationships. Whether two people are going to have fulfilling relationship does not only depend on their geographical closeness. What matters is quality, not quantity. According to one expert on LDRs, "the majority of studies that have been done show no greater risk of an LDR breaking up than any other relationship (Guldner, 2004, p. 6)." An LDR relationship has the same likelihood of surviving as any other romantic relationship. In his studies Guldner (2004) found no connection linking the quality of the relationship and the physical distance between the two people involved. Erin M. Sahlstein (2001) came to a similar conclusion when she wrote that LDRs can be equally (dis)satisfying as proximal relationships on a global level.
So, then, what is the big deal about proximity? When it comes to interpersonal attraction and meeting potential romantic partner, proximity plays an important role. Elliot Aronson (2004) would argue that proximity is a major factor since people who are geographically close have a greater chance of falling in love with each other. Simple logic would tell us that we do not stand much of a chance of getting romantically involved with somebody who is across the globe from us. Of course, with the increased globalization via the Internet and modern technology, this cannot be ruled out; however, it is still much less likely to happen. Once we do get together other factors that I am going to talk about kick in and proximity itself looses some of its initial importance.
The next important factor that helps couples get romantically involved is similarity. According to Aronson (2004) "we fall in love
References: Aronson, E. (2004). The Social Animal (Ninth Edition). New York: Worth Publishers Guldner, T. G. (2004). The Complete Guide: Long Distance Relationships (Second Printing). Corona, CA: JFMilne Publications Johnson, S. & Marano, H. E. Love: The immutable longing for contact. Psychology Today, 64, 66, pp. 32-37 Sahlstein, M. E. (2001). Relating at a distance: Negotiating being together and being apart in long-distance relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, Vol. 21(5): 689-710. Retrieved November 20, 2004, from http://spr.sagepub.com/cgi/reprint/21/5/689 Trotter, R.J. (1986). Three faces of love. Psychology Today, September 1986, pp. 46-54