Love

Peacemaker Project Sheryl Lloyd Liberty University Introduction At point in my life, this paper would have been easier to write because my issues were easily identifiable. I was a professed Christian who had a hard time forgiving those who hurt me. I would hold grudges against them for long periods of time. However, when I was wrong, I would not apologize but I expected to be forgiving right away. I would always reconcile with the person I offended, but never would I apologize or admit my faults to them. I thought my actions were acceptable because they never seem to end my relationships. I was described as nice and loved by all. People accepted me because my good actions surpassed my bad actions; therefore, I saw no need to change. When I got married, those same skills I developed began to create strife in my home. I didn’t understand the friction because my style worked for me for over 30 years. My husband also fell in love with me because I was nice, caring and loving. The acceptance and love I received form others led me to believe that I was fine and caused me to wonder, what was wrong with my husband. I had a desire to get closer to God but something was hindering me. As I got into my Bible and was prayerful, God used one of my trusted Elders to help me see that I battled with a spirit of pride that caused me to be critical, selfish, and manipulative along with plenty of other ugly things.
Although I still fight this spirit, it does not have the stronghold it use to have over me. I have learned the value of forgiveness and humility through study and understanding of God’s word. It was hard for me to identify a specific conflict because I’ve caused a lot of scars in my marriage with my selfishness, but we have worked through a lot of those issues. If you ask my husband about our relationship, he sincerely believes everything is good, but I know in my heart that I have not given all of me. I want to, but can never