Make Friends and Get a Social Life
A fairly common social issue people have is that they're not sure how to make friends and put together a social life for themselves. There are quite a few ways someone can find themselves in this situation:
They've moved to a new city and don't know very many people yet. They've been in a long term relationship and have let their social life wither. Their old friends have slowly been dropping out of the picture (moving away, busy with work or a new family, etc.) and haven't been replaced by new ones. A large chunk of their social circle disappeared overnight, like everyone graduated from university and most of their friends moved out of the city. They feel like they've grown apart from their current friends and want to make entirely new ones. In the past they were happy being alone a lot of the time, but now they want to be around people more often. They never really knew how to make friends and have always wished their social lives were better. They've recently made a big lifestyle change such as deciding not to drink anymore, and need to develop a new social circle that's more suited to it.
Below are my thoughts on how to make friends. I'll cover a basic structure first, then go into some attitudes and principles towards the whole thing that I think are important. I've noticed people who are already good at making friends naturally tend to do most of the things I outline below without thinking about it.
Bare bones guide on how to make friends
Here are the basic steps to making friends. It seems simplistic, but there can be a lot to each point. People who struggle with their social lives often stumble on one or more of them as well.
1. Find some potential friends
To make friends you first have to find some possible candidates. There are two main ways to do this:
Draw on your current contacts
This won't apply to people who have just moved to a new area and don't know anyone, but often you'll already have the
They've moved to a new city and don't know very many people yet. They've been in a long term relationship and have let their social life wither. Their old friends have slowly been dropping out of the picture (moving away, busy with work or a new family, etc.) and haven't been replaced by new ones. A large chunk of their social circle disappeared overnight, like everyone graduated from university and most of their friends moved out of the city. They feel like they've grown apart from their current friends and want to make entirely new ones. In the past they were happy being alone a lot of the time, but now they want to be around people more often. They never really knew how to make friends and have always wished their social lives were better. They've recently made a big lifestyle change such as deciding not to drink anymore, and need to develop a new social circle that's more suited to it.
Below are my thoughts on how to make friends. I'll cover a basic structure first, then go into some attitudes and principles towards the whole thing that I think are important. I've noticed people who are already good at making friends naturally tend to do most of the things I outline below without thinking about it.
Bare bones guide on how to make friends
Here are the basic steps to making friends. It seems simplistic, but there can be a lot to each point. People who struggle with their social lives often stumble on one or more of them as well.
1. Find some potential friends
To make friends you first have to find some possible candidates. There are two main ways to do this:
Draw on your current contacts
This won't apply to people who have just moved to a new area and don't know anyone, but often you'll already have the