Marriage Throughout Different Cultures: Introduction To Cultural Anthropology
Marriage Throughout Different Cultures
Maurice Pearcey
ANT 101: Introduction to Cultural Anthropology
Instructor: James Turner
September 29, 2013
Marriage is a personal accomplishment for me. Having a wife then to create a family with her and providing for them, is a rite a passage for most African American males. Most African Americans get married but chances of the marriage lasting are slim. My parents were together for 15 years before they divorced but before the split I was able to witness the idea of a family. I thought marriage was the same everywhere until I traveled to different regions of the world. I always knew that marriage was between a man and a woman. I also knew that all cultures had similar rules of engagement when it came to marriage practices. I was sadly mistaken with what I thought of this world when the topic of marriage was expressed. Throughout my military career I was fortunate to witness marriages in different parts of the world. While in Sri Lanka I was a part of a wedding that practiced Hindu traditions, in Kuwait I seen a …show more content…
wedding with Muslim traditions and while in the United States I have been part of many weddings that practice Christian traditions. The tradition of marriage carries many social implications that determine quality of life depending upon the social construct of the couple. Learning to create bonds with others begins at a young age, and in so doing, forms many of the decisions that adults have in marriage ceremonies. Along with the bond, mate selection, cultural similarities and social attitudes help construct the institution of marriage. Ideas into the process of marriage and types of ceremonies shape the creation of the joining of individuals. Being with the right person, determining if family and friends would be accepting of the choice made, and cultural similarities that can affect child rearing are a few questions that can be generated when the union of two individuals join together to solidify their bond into matrimony. In essence, typical marriages deal with the course of two individuals who gain emotional ties that become strong enough to believe that to complete the final choice in true commitment is to undergo the process of making an outward proclamation of togetherness. Many view this sort of ceremony to be sacred, and in fact, include various religious infusions that in many cases are culturally influenced. Primary decisions that influence marriage do not always include the idea of love, or even emotional bonds. The idea of being loneliness, feeling of the need to belong and the poignant view of social rejection can rush the person into proceeding in this type of arrangement. “No segment of society is immune from loneliness, but some people are at greater risk than others…emotional loneliness is loneliness due to lack of an attachment figure whereas social loneliness is due to lack of friends and associates,” (Taylor, Peplau & Sears, 2006). In this case, the need of belonging outweighs the choice of partners. This can be true of someone who believes that the individual’s stability depends upon attention and presence of others. At an early age, we form attachments that shape our adulthood. These attachments define our choices in who we believe our partners should be. Primarily, the “attachment theory perspective is useful in understanding the social relationships of adults,” (Taylor, Peplau & Sears, 2006). Adolescence is the foundation of learning to become attached and the implications of this type of attachment, being subtle, are very important to the structure of that child’s life choices. In many social circles, the child is bombarded with inferences as to who he or she must align themselves in. Socialization plays an important role in the “tradition” of the marriage ceremony. Depending upon the society, the child may grow the develop ideas or guidelines that serves to help shape viewpoints held by the man or women in the society. Years ago, interethnic relationships were seen as taboo based on the idea of stereotypes that are generalized by skewed judgments. “About 40 percent of young Americans say they have dated someone of another ethnic group, and 30 percent have had a “serious” relationship…attitudes toward such relationships have become increasingly accepting,” (Taylor, Peplau & Sears, 2006). All over the world, customs have diverse ways of expressing this union. “With Colombians, according to our circulation manager at Reflejos, Hector Gomez, we differ on where the wedding ring goes. In Peru, men use it on the right hand ring finger, while Colombians use it on the left hand,” (“Weddings have different traditions,” 2012). This is an observation on one example of the types of ceremonial processes of marriage. The article identifies that what signifies as an actual statement of a marriage in the placement of the wedding ring. Understanding these differences would lead to lessening the confusion between a statement of marriage and an innocent placement of jewelry. “Even though we might differ in customs between different countries and cultures, the truth is that all couples have to plan their weddings very carefully, giving attention to every detail and according to their budgets,” (“Weddings have different traditions,” 2012). Cultural differences do not end in South America, China also have different views on weddings and marriage. Recently, due to cultural influences taken from countries like Japan, and the United States, the pseudo-Christian idea of a westernized marriage is now becoming more popular. Tradition dictated that women to wear head-dresses during this ceremony and the bridal color was not white, for it signified death and was worn during funerals, but red traditional gowns. This new trend of men donning a black tuxedo, and women adorning themselves in long white gowns and attending a “chapel” that closely resembles a Christian church is the newest fusion of old tradition being purged and a new ideal forged. The idea of a traditional wedding has been modified to create new symbols of unity. Rituals that have been structured within a society have been now introduced to a unique shift in design. Acceptance and change have been injected within various cultures that once rejected differences. Couples are now seeking a union that no longer is bound to the simplistic arrangements that lacked romance and growth, but using feelings of love to direct individuals to the decision of who to marry. Goals leading to marriage can sometimes rely to similarities outside of the social “norm” of the individuals as opposed to customary same-cultured mating. As Christianity grew in influence it made numerous changes to the institution of marriage. “However, Christianity had developed two different traditions on marriage. One regarded marriage as an important institution with theological significance, whereas Roman marriage had been entirely a private and civil affair. Divorce was all but abolished, and the church began to assert influence to prevent marriages that were “illegitimate” (between relatives, etc.) The church began to place “banns” (notices), inviting anyone with reasons why the marriage should not be permitted to step forward. Despite all this, it wasn’t until the 12th century that the wedding became a church ritual.” “The other tradition emphasized virginity and sexual abstinence. In conflict with the first tradition, marriage was a second-rate institution for those who could not handle celibacy. The seeds of this tradition can be seen in St. Paul’s 1st Letter to the Corinthians, “To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is well for them to remain single as I do. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion.” (1 Cor. 7:8-9, RSV) Celibacy was the ideal, but marriage was a compromise for those who couldn’t live up to it,” (Vorjack, 2009). The rules of marriage take on another route when dealing with same sex couples.
Until recently, these same-sex marriages are becoming recognized as a legitimate form of union. In fact, societal ideals found this coupling as a social faux pas and were uneasy with accepting a marriage of this type. “Opponents of legalization warn that granting marital status to lesbians and gay men would threaten the institution of marriage and undermine the family,” (Taylor, Peplau & Sears, 2006,). Through the legalization process this arrangement has become more acceptable and the civil unions between same-sex marriages have increased, and with all of these ramifications the approval rate of this types of marriages are still low. “The majority of Americans disapprove of same-sex marriage. In recent national polls, two thirds of Americans oppose legalizing same-sex
marriage. About half of those polled say that they personally consider a same-sex relationship between consenting adults to be morally wrong and that allowing gays and lesbians to marry legally would undermine the traditional American family,” (Taylor, Peplau & Sears, 2006). Sadly, the approval process does not show the many Americans willing to change traditional “values” and beliefs and to re-organize the process of the union between two individuals. Another aspect into the ideal of marriage deals with a religious viewpoint into the entire process. Hinduism focuses on the traditional value on the arranged marriage based on not only the female but the male and the families that he or she came from. “When the girl is around 16 or 18, her family starts to look around for a suitable boy…the first thing they look for is that the family of the boy must have good standards. If the family is good, they will visit the temple, do good deeds and do charitable work. The families meet first and afterwards the boy and girl get a chance of talking to each other…stresses the families do not influence the children – the parents will tell the children that they think the two of them will be compatible, but it is up to the couple to decide if they want to get married. If they chose not to proceed, the parents look for another suitable partner,” (Jensen, 2002). “Hindu sacraments are called 'sanskars ' and the sacraments performed at the time of a wedding are called 'Vivah Sanskar '. This sanskar marks the start of the second and the most important stage of life called the 'Grihistha Ashrama ' which involves setting up of a new family unit. Two individuals who are considered to be compatible form a lifelong partnership at this ceremony in which the responsibilities and duties of a householder are explained. The precise details and rituals performed in a wedding ceremony vary from region to region and often take several hours to complete,” (Prinja, 2009). The premise of arrangements like these focuses on the matriarchal influences in the family setting. The man in this relationship has the duty of becoming the sole provider of the household while the woman’s duty is to be the home-maker and provider for the children. Holding onto these ideals tends to restrict the women to pursue means of career advancement. Changes in this design had also advanced from the strict traditional guidance to allowing those who are Hindu to choose to marry an individual who is not of the same background is now acceptable in certain areas. “The religious ceremony is based on cultural ideas of the role of men and women. It emphasizes the man is the provider and the woman says at home and takes care of the family…but now recognized that times have changed. Economically, the girl is no longer dependent on the boy and the girls are allowed to work nowadays,” (Jensen, 2002). The religion stipulates this is the order of the doctrine and the traits carried down are learned theories that have been passed down from generation to generation. Reinvention of this premise is due to the assumed interdependence theory that observes a more Western independence within the mating ritual and wedding ceremony. If you were to look into a Jewish form of marriage, similar rule apply to the couple as does Hindu tradition. The slight differences occur with a ring ceremony: “The exchanging of the rings is very important to the Jewish ceremony…in Jewish tradition, the wedding has to be quite plain so the ring is just a plain band…in an orthodox wedding, the bride does not give the groom a ring because it is the groom who requires the bride..,” (Jensen, 2002). With the Muslim marriage traditions and customs, there are some days on which marriage is not recommended; “some of these are based on ahadith and some on cultural, historical reasons. Generally, we can categorize these days into three; There are some ahadith which say that it is makruh (not recommended) to have a marriage ceremony on the days when the moon is in the constellation of Scorpio (this is known as al-qamar fil aqrab or qamar dar aqrab), during the last two or three days of the lunar months, and on Wednesdays. There are certain days of the Islamic calendar which have become associated with the early events of the Islamic history; for example, the 10th of Muharram is the day of mourning for the massacre at Karbala or the day of the Prophet 's death in Safar, etc. Since such days are commemorated by the Muslims as days of mourning, it is socially and, to some extent, religiously not recommended to have a marriage ceremony on such day”, (http://www.al-islam.org/marriage-handbook/6.htm). Islamic cultures also provide a strict regulatory infusion of religion, culture and the ideal of marriage. Similar to Hindu religions, the understanding that the idea of marriage is for the betterment of the community, but unlike the Hindu style, the couples are not to live together prior to the actual ceremony, and the event itself must not allow for song and dance, but a quiet time of reflection. “We don’t have any special rituals or physical ceremonies, but a number of people perform certain duties as part of the service…people are reminded of their obligation to the Creator, that all human beings are free, but they have a right on each other…couples are not allowed to live together before they are married as this would suggest they are not taking the relationship seriously…They are not making a commitment and they are together without taking any responsibility,” (Jensen, 2002). In each type of marriage, divorce is allowed if the two parties have difficulties during their time together with does not allow for a cohesive unit. In the end, the courtship of a couple in terms of marriage is subject to change with the culture around a society. Influences that are at times unavoidable can lead to the changing of ideas and the reform of the ceremonies. Decisions that can be made leading up to the point of an outward proclamation of love can have many factors that will modify the selection process, and change the very foundation of the service itself. I found that many marital traditions and customs are basically similar. I learned that the institution of marriage is not only a kinship between a man and a woman anymore at least within Christianity. Muslim and Hindu traditions share strict but fair rules within the culture. To marry a Hindu woman you must ask permission which is also similar to the Muslim marriage traditions as well. The main similarity I found between all the cultures was that marriage is a ceremony before God and that idea is practiced widely.
References:
Al-islam.org. Retrieved from http://www.al-islam.org/marriage-handbook/6.htm
Dyer, G. (2006). We do, with bells on white weddings in a mock church? Financial Times, p21.
Heron, C. (2001). Love story: when two worlds collide. The Mirror, 16.
Jensen, K. (2002). Weekend: to have and to hold. Birmingham Post, 43.
Daily Herald (2012) Weddings have different traditions. questia. Retrieved from http://www.questia.com/library/1G1-294302404/weddings-have-different-traditions
Prinja, N. (2009, August). Weddings. BBC.co.uk. Retrieved from http://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/hinduism/ritesrituals/weddings.shtml
VorJack. (2009, June). Christian and the Traditions of Marriage. Patheos. Retrieved from http://www.patheos.com/blogs/unreasonablefaith/2009/06/christianity-and-the-tradition- of-marriage/
Maurice Pearcey
ANT 101: Introduction to Cultural Anthropology
Instructor: James Turner
September 29, 2013
Marriage is a personal accomplishment for me. Having a wife then to create a family with her and providing for them, is a rite a passage for most African American males. Most African Americans get married but chances of the marriage lasting are slim. My parents were together for 15 years before they divorced but before the split I was able to witness the idea of a family. I thought marriage was the same everywhere until I traveled to different regions of the world. I always knew that marriage was between a man and a woman. I also knew that all cultures had similar rules of engagement when it came to marriage practices. I was sadly mistaken with what I thought of this world when the topic of marriage was expressed. Throughout my military career I was fortunate to witness marriages in different parts of the world. While in Sri Lanka I was a part of a wedding that practiced Hindu traditions, in Kuwait I seen a …show more content…
wedding with Muslim traditions and while in the United States I have been part of many weddings that practice Christian traditions. The tradition of marriage carries many social implications that determine quality of life depending upon the social construct of the couple. Learning to create bonds with others begins at a young age, and in so doing, forms many of the decisions that adults have in marriage ceremonies. Along with the bond, mate selection, cultural similarities and social attitudes help construct the institution of marriage. Ideas into the process of marriage and types of ceremonies shape the creation of the joining of individuals. Being with the right person, determining if family and friends would be accepting of the choice made, and cultural similarities that can affect child rearing are a few questions that can be generated when the union of two individuals join together to solidify their bond into matrimony. In essence, typical marriages deal with the course of two individuals who gain emotional ties that become strong enough to believe that to complete the final choice in true commitment is to undergo the process of making an outward proclamation of togetherness. Many view this sort of ceremony to be sacred, and in fact, include various religious infusions that in many cases are culturally influenced. Primary decisions that influence marriage do not always include the idea of love, or even emotional bonds. The idea of being loneliness, feeling of the need to belong and the poignant view of social rejection can rush the person into proceeding in this type of arrangement. “No segment of society is immune from loneliness, but some people are at greater risk than others…emotional loneliness is loneliness due to lack of an attachment figure whereas social loneliness is due to lack of friends and associates,” (Taylor, Peplau & Sears, 2006). In this case, the need of belonging outweighs the choice of partners. This can be true of someone who believes that the individual’s stability depends upon attention and presence of others. At an early age, we form attachments that shape our adulthood. These attachments define our choices in who we believe our partners should be. Primarily, the “attachment theory perspective is useful in understanding the social relationships of adults,” (Taylor, Peplau & Sears, 2006). Adolescence is the foundation of learning to become attached and the implications of this type of attachment, being subtle, are very important to the structure of that child’s life choices. In many social circles, the child is bombarded with inferences as to who he or she must align themselves in. Socialization plays an important role in the “tradition” of the marriage ceremony. Depending upon the society, the child may grow the develop ideas or guidelines that serves to help shape viewpoints held by the man or women in the society. Years ago, interethnic relationships were seen as taboo based on the idea of stereotypes that are generalized by skewed judgments. “About 40 percent of young Americans say they have dated someone of another ethnic group, and 30 percent have had a “serious” relationship…attitudes toward such relationships have become increasingly accepting,” (Taylor, Peplau & Sears, 2006). All over the world, customs have diverse ways of expressing this union. “With Colombians, according to our circulation manager at Reflejos, Hector Gomez, we differ on where the wedding ring goes. In Peru, men use it on the right hand ring finger, while Colombians use it on the left hand,” (“Weddings have different traditions,” 2012). This is an observation on one example of the types of ceremonial processes of marriage. The article identifies that what signifies as an actual statement of a marriage in the placement of the wedding ring. Understanding these differences would lead to lessening the confusion between a statement of marriage and an innocent placement of jewelry. “Even though we might differ in customs between different countries and cultures, the truth is that all couples have to plan their weddings very carefully, giving attention to every detail and according to their budgets,” (“Weddings have different traditions,” 2012). Cultural differences do not end in South America, China also have different views on weddings and marriage. Recently, due to cultural influences taken from countries like Japan, and the United States, the pseudo-Christian idea of a westernized marriage is now becoming more popular. Tradition dictated that women to wear head-dresses during this ceremony and the bridal color was not white, for it signified death and was worn during funerals, but red traditional gowns. This new trend of men donning a black tuxedo, and women adorning themselves in long white gowns and attending a “chapel” that closely resembles a Christian church is the newest fusion of old tradition being purged and a new ideal forged. The idea of a traditional wedding has been modified to create new symbols of unity. Rituals that have been structured within a society have been now introduced to a unique shift in design. Acceptance and change have been injected within various cultures that once rejected differences. Couples are now seeking a union that no longer is bound to the simplistic arrangements that lacked romance and growth, but using feelings of love to direct individuals to the decision of who to marry. Goals leading to marriage can sometimes rely to similarities outside of the social “norm” of the individuals as opposed to customary same-cultured mating. As Christianity grew in influence it made numerous changes to the institution of marriage. “However, Christianity had developed two different traditions on marriage. One regarded marriage as an important institution with theological significance, whereas Roman marriage had been entirely a private and civil affair. Divorce was all but abolished, and the church began to assert influence to prevent marriages that were “illegitimate” (between relatives, etc.) The church began to place “banns” (notices), inviting anyone with reasons why the marriage should not be permitted to step forward. Despite all this, it wasn’t until the 12th century that the wedding became a church ritual.” “The other tradition emphasized virginity and sexual abstinence. In conflict with the first tradition, marriage was a second-rate institution for those who could not handle celibacy. The seeds of this tradition can be seen in St. Paul’s 1st Letter to the Corinthians, “To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is well for them to remain single as I do. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion.” (1 Cor. 7:8-9, RSV) Celibacy was the ideal, but marriage was a compromise for those who couldn’t live up to it,” (Vorjack, 2009). The rules of marriage take on another route when dealing with same sex couples.
Until recently, these same-sex marriages are becoming recognized as a legitimate form of union. In fact, societal ideals found this coupling as a social faux pas and were uneasy with accepting a marriage of this type. “Opponents of legalization warn that granting marital status to lesbians and gay men would threaten the institution of marriage and undermine the family,” (Taylor, Peplau & Sears, 2006,). Through the legalization process this arrangement has become more acceptable and the civil unions between same-sex marriages have increased, and with all of these ramifications the approval rate of this types of marriages are still low. “The majority of Americans disapprove of same-sex marriage. In recent national polls, two thirds of Americans oppose legalizing same-sex
marriage. About half of those polled say that they personally consider a same-sex relationship between consenting adults to be morally wrong and that allowing gays and lesbians to marry legally would undermine the traditional American family,” (Taylor, Peplau & Sears, 2006). Sadly, the approval process does not show the many Americans willing to change traditional “values” and beliefs and to re-organize the process of the union between two individuals. Another aspect into the ideal of marriage deals with a religious viewpoint into the entire process. Hinduism focuses on the traditional value on the arranged marriage based on not only the female but the male and the families that he or she came from. “When the girl is around 16 or 18, her family starts to look around for a suitable boy…the first thing they look for is that the family of the boy must have good standards. If the family is good, they will visit the temple, do good deeds and do charitable work. The families meet first and afterwards the boy and girl get a chance of talking to each other…stresses the families do not influence the children – the parents will tell the children that they think the two of them will be compatible, but it is up to the couple to decide if they want to get married. If they chose not to proceed, the parents look for another suitable partner,” (Jensen, 2002). “Hindu sacraments are called 'sanskars ' and the sacraments performed at the time of a wedding are called 'Vivah Sanskar '. This sanskar marks the start of the second and the most important stage of life called the 'Grihistha Ashrama ' which involves setting up of a new family unit. Two individuals who are considered to be compatible form a lifelong partnership at this ceremony in which the responsibilities and duties of a householder are explained. The precise details and rituals performed in a wedding ceremony vary from region to region and often take several hours to complete,” (Prinja, 2009). The premise of arrangements like these focuses on the matriarchal influences in the family setting. The man in this relationship has the duty of becoming the sole provider of the household while the woman’s duty is to be the home-maker and provider for the children. Holding onto these ideals tends to restrict the women to pursue means of career advancement. Changes in this design had also advanced from the strict traditional guidance to allowing those who are Hindu to choose to marry an individual who is not of the same background is now acceptable in certain areas. “The religious ceremony is based on cultural ideas of the role of men and women. It emphasizes the man is the provider and the woman says at home and takes care of the family…but now recognized that times have changed. Economically, the girl is no longer dependent on the boy and the girls are allowed to work nowadays,” (Jensen, 2002). The religion stipulates this is the order of the doctrine and the traits carried down are learned theories that have been passed down from generation to generation. Reinvention of this premise is due to the assumed interdependence theory that observes a more Western independence within the mating ritual and wedding ceremony. If you were to look into a Jewish form of marriage, similar rule apply to the couple as does Hindu tradition. The slight differences occur with a ring ceremony: “The exchanging of the rings is very important to the Jewish ceremony…in Jewish tradition, the wedding has to be quite plain so the ring is just a plain band…in an orthodox wedding, the bride does not give the groom a ring because it is the groom who requires the bride..,” (Jensen, 2002). With the Muslim marriage traditions and customs, there are some days on which marriage is not recommended; “some of these are based on ahadith and some on cultural, historical reasons. Generally, we can categorize these days into three; There are some ahadith which say that it is makruh (not recommended) to have a marriage ceremony on the days when the moon is in the constellation of Scorpio (this is known as al-qamar fil aqrab or qamar dar aqrab), during the last two or three days of the lunar months, and on Wednesdays. There are certain days of the Islamic calendar which have become associated with the early events of the Islamic history; for example, the 10th of Muharram is the day of mourning for the massacre at Karbala or the day of the Prophet 's death in Safar, etc. Since such days are commemorated by the Muslims as days of mourning, it is socially and, to some extent, religiously not recommended to have a marriage ceremony on such day”, (http://www.al-islam.org/marriage-handbook/6.htm). Islamic cultures also provide a strict regulatory infusion of religion, culture and the ideal of marriage. Similar to Hindu religions, the understanding that the idea of marriage is for the betterment of the community, but unlike the Hindu style, the couples are not to live together prior to the actual ceremony, and the event itself must not allow for song and dance, but a quiet time of reflection. “We don’t have any special rituals or physical ceremonies, but a number of people perform certain duties as part of the service…people are reminded of their obligation to the Creator, that all human beings are free, but they have a right on each other…couples are not allowed to live together before they are married as this would suggest they are not taking the relationship seriously…They are not making a commitment and they are together without taking any responsibility,” (Jensen, 2002). In each type of marriage, divorce is allowed if the two parties have difficulties during their time together with does not allow for a cohesive unit. In the end, the courtship of a couple in terms of marriage is subject to change with the culture around a society. Influences that are at times unavoidable can lead to the changing of ideas and the reform of the ceremonies. Decisions that can be made leading up to the point of an outward proclamation of love can have many factors that will modify the selection process, and change the very foundation of the service itself. I found that many marital traditions and customs are basically similar. I learned that the institution of marriage is not only a kinship between a man and a woman anymore at least within Christianity. Muslim and Hindu traditions share strict but fair rules within the culture. To marry a Hindu woman you must ask permission which is also similar to the Muslim marriage traditions as well. The main similarity I found between all the cultures was that marriage is a ceremony before God and that idea is practiced widely.
References:
Al-islam.org. Retrieved from http://www.al-islam.org/marriage-handbook/6.htm
Dyer, G. (2006). We do, with bells on white weddings in a mock church? Financial Times, p21.
Heron, C. (2001). Love story: when two worlds collide. The Mirror, 16.
Jensen, K. (2002). Weekend: to have and to hold. Birmingham Post, 43.
Daily Herald (2012) Weddings have different traditions. questia. Retrieved from http://www.questia.com/library/1G1-294302404/weddings-have-different-traditions
Prinja, N. (2009, August). Weddings. BBC.co.uk. Retrieved from http://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/hinduism/ritesrituals/weddings.shtml
VorJack. (2009, June). Christian and the Traditions of Marriage. Patheos. Retrieved from http://www.patheos.com/blogs/unreasonablefaith/2009/06/christianity-and-the-tradition- of-marriage/