Mine Enemy Is Growing Old By Emily Dickinson
Vengeance is forbidden. Vengeance should never be on anyone's mind. Vengeance is akin to a four letter word yet there are some who will admit that there is a certain allure, satisfaction, and fulfillment that comes with vengeance. A woman who “feeds” her vengeance would make her anger disappear, as Emily Dickinson once wrote in her poem “Mine Enemy is Growing Old”, “Anger as soon as fed is dead. 'T is starving makes it fat.” Vengeance feeds the anger but you will never get enough while choosing to take the high road can make you starve but you will soon find that your mind was trained to be much more hungry than it already was. There are many people who would rather satiate their need for vengeance because we all want our fair share. We all
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want balance in the world. The hard truth is that we will not always get our fair share. We must choose whether we will feed the anger or if we will find the peace and freedom to release ourselves from the chains that the emotion of anger will impose on us. Vengeance is an unnecessary chain that no one wants to carry but I'm sure that some cannot stop the emotions that arise. Once a man or a woman feels threatened by the betrayal their anger “sags like a heavy load until it explodes” as Langston Hughes mentions in his poem, “Harlem. “ The betrayal can be as simple as the dream of an entire ethnic group hoping to become equals like their fellow Americans being “deferred” or postponed. It is just like a child being laughed at by a parent that they trust over and over again. The poem has a foreboding tone that alludes to the fact that if the dreams of disadvantaged groups continue being deferred they will become angry and no one will be able to escape the resentment that has “festered” for so long. We are already seeing the results of this explosion with the cases of Trayvon Martin and Michael Brown. The problem with feeding the anger is that not only are bodies left in the wreckage, broken spirits and hope are also left there like rotten meat left out on the kitchen counter on a hot August day. Revenge can affect us as well as other people. The tragic events that follow the wrath that we have wrought will cause us to experience much sorrow and regret. We have lost someone we loved as a direct or indirect result of our own actions and it will never be the same. Imagine the heartache that activist and poet John Trudell experienced when he lost his wife Tina Manning, a fellow activist, their three young children, along with an unborn child, and Tina's mother Leah Hicks-Manning. Twelve hours before this tragic event John, the former chairman of the American Indian Movement and one of the many American Indians who was involved in the 1969 occupation of Alcatraz, stood before the FBI building in Washington D.C. and proceeded to burn the American flag. In archival footage featured in the 2005 documentary “Trudell”, John explains that he burned the flag because ”it has been desecrated and the only way to dispose of the American flag once it is desecrated is to burn it. We feel that racism, classicism, and sexism...these are desecrations.” He also burned the flag “in protest to the way the American government treats the indigenous Indian people of the United States of America.” Tina Manning had also ardently fought for her tribe to have their own healthy water supply so it is said that many people greatly disliked the pair.
John had been warned by many of these detractors that he would lose his family if he continued exacting his vengeance against the United States government through protest. I am positive John did not want to hurt his family but I believe he felt such a strong urge to get back at the American government for the injustices committed against his people that he did not truly think of how his actions would impact the innocent . John believes that the fire was started to get back at him for his activism but the murder remains unsolved to this day. The loss of his family caused John to leave vocal protesting and though he grieved many years, John turned his sadness, anger, and pain into poetry and song. His poem, “Tina Smiled” was dedicated to the memory of Tina Manning. The circumstances may dictate the action but we will not want the action to be dictated at all. Revenge may be warranted and even thought about but it will not be directly perpetrated. It will be mother nature's way of changing things in your favor. A karmic revenge. In the short story “Sweat” by Zora Neale Hurston, Delia herself knew
that,
“Whatever goes over the Devil's back, is got to come under his belly.” Delia had to deal with a man who scared her purposefully, put her down, beat her and had no regard for their marriage vows. Sykes was a man that most would have considered getting rid of personally but Delia did not choose to execute him she allowed karmic revenge to take control and even then she felt “pity to strong to support”. Despite all that Sykes had done, there was still a deep affection there for Delia to feel so badly for the way that this man dies. Sykes had been such a delightful and pleasant gentleman when they had married. It is true that we do not like to see injustices go unpunished but at the same time no one deserves to die in this way. If we have any iota and compassion for our fellow human beings most of us will not enjoy seeing anyone die in any way. Through Sykes' death Delia was physically free but she would not be mentally free. His eyes full of pain would haunt her forever. Children in most cases are fortunate that they do not have to experience the traumatic events Delia experienced. Children are wonderful in that they are completely honest. If a child does not want a certain food then they will not eat it. If the child dislikes you, the child will be sure to tell you directly rather than beat around the bush. If you betray a child, you will most definitely know and you will also feel the result of their vengeance...literally! Childish revenge was the case in Galway Kinney's “It All Comes Back” when the child catches his father laughing Galway says that the child “in an indignant fury he jabbed his thumb into the corners of my mouth, grasped my cheeks, and yanked.” This poem shows the physical (and quite painful) result of a perceived betrayal that does not lead to death and can show us that although they may not understand the concepts of betrayal and revenge even children can let anger overpower them to a point that they won't and in most cases cannot deal with or comprehend how the anger will affect them. The bad news is that when the child get older (and hopefully wiser) he can choose to stick by his act of revenge and let an embarrassing event affect him for the rest of his life. The good news is that he can also follow the son's example and finally learn that it is not worth staying bitter over the fact that your dad laughed at you for peeing on yourself in front of the whole family on Christmas Eve when you were five years old. To attempt revenge for silly little things is not only childish, it is not good for your health or for the people you love the most. In other instances although there is an obvious pain involved, the need for vengeance may be dissolved with a simple shake of the head and an “onwards, ho!” attitude but the awful memory of that day will never be forgotten. In Marilyn Nelson's “Minor Miracle” a woman and her friend are enjoying the sunshine and each other's company while out bike riding. A man in a truck drives past a stop sign which causes one the bikers to warn the man that he was supposed to stop at the intersection. The trucker instead of thanking the man the trucker yelled angrily,
“You fucking niggers!”
No one enjoys being insulted and disrespected with such a slur and for most people it would have been justifiable to physically teach this man a lesson. The thing is that in most cases vengeance may only help to escalate things especially where there is already tension. The bicycle riders barely had time to react when the twist in this story occurred. The man got out of his truck, walked up to the bikers and said the magic words,
“I just want to say I'm sorry” The man had been very fortunate that he seemed to run into pretty forgiving people. If it had been anyone else, to be quite blunt, he would not have made it to his truck. The story of “Minor Miracle” is a minor miracle within itself and unlike the poem Harlem gives the hope that if we choose to not satisfy our anger we can also choose to gain the upper hand and make things work in our favor. We do not know if the recipients of this anger retaliated or forgave their aggressor but it can be assumed by their initial reaction that they had chosen to forgive or at the very least did their best to educate the man on what he had done wrong. It is understandable that once an injustice is done many people do not like to leave things up in the air. A wrong must be absolutely made right. I used to believe this as well but I see now that the problem with vengeance is that we will no longer be sentient human beings. The hunger for vengeance will turn us into mindless machines that cause wars, havoc and all kinds of chaos. Vengeance is silly, childish, toxic and we must simply do better if we want to continue our existence on this earth.
Human beings have to look within themselves and ask, “Am I doing this to preserve life and love or am I doing this to promote death and hate?”
Vengeance is like a destructive never-ending cycle while forgiveness is the life blood that supports us all and lifts us up in our darkest moments. What will you choose? Will you choose to promote the cycle of hate or will you choose to find closure and peace in your heart?
As John Trudell once said, “No matter what they ever do to us, we must always act for the love of our people and the earth. We must not react out of hatred against those who have no sense.”
want balance in the world. The hard truth is that we will not always get our fair share. We must choose whether we will feed the anger or if we will find the peace and freedom to release ourselves from the chains that the emotion of anger will impose on us. Vengeance is an unnecessary chain that no one wants to carry but I'm sure that some cannot stop the emotions that arise. Once a man or a woman feels threatened by the betrayal their anger “sags like a heavy load until it explodes” as Langston Hughes mentions in his poem, “Harlem. “ The betrayal can be as simple as the dream of an entire ethnic group hoping to become equals like their fellow Americans being “deferred” or postponed. It is just like a child being laughed at by a parent that they trust over and over again. The poem has a foreboding tone that alludes to the fact that if the dreams of disadvantaged groups continue being deferred they will become angry and no one will be able to escape the resentment that has “festered” for so long. We are already seeing the results of this explosion with the cases of Trayvon Martin and Michael Brown. The problem with feeding the anger is that not only are bodies left in the wreckage, broken spirits and hope are also left there like rotten meat left out on the kitchen counter on a hot August day. Revenge can affect us as well as other people. The tragic events that follow the wrath that we have wrought will cause us to experience much sorrow and regret. We have lost someone we loved as a direct or indirect result of our own actions and it will never be the same. Imagine the heartache that activist and poet John Trudell experienced when he lost his wife Tina Manning, a fellow activist, their three young children, along with an unborn child, and Tina's mother Leah Hicks-Manning. Twelve hours before this tragic event John, the former chairman of the American Indian Movement and one of the many American Indians who was involved in the 1969 occupation of Alcatraz, stood before the FBI building in Washington D.C. and proceeded to burn the American flag. In archival footage featured in the 2005 documentary “Trudell”, John explains that he burned the flag because ”it has been desecrated and the only way to dispose of the American flag once it is desecrated is to burn it. We feel that racism, classicism, and sexism...these are desecrations.” He also burned the flag “in protest to the way the American government treats the indigenous Indian people of the United States of America.” Tina Manning had also ardently fought for her tribe to have their own healthy water supply so it is said that many people greatly disliked the pair.
John had been warned by many of these detractors that he would lose his family if he continued exacting his vengeance against the United States government through protest. I am positive John did not want to hurt his family but I believe he felt such a strong urge to get back at the American government for the injustices committed against his people that he did not truly think of how his actions would impact the innocent . John believes that the fire was started to get back at him for his activism but the murder remains unsolved to this day. The loss of his family caused John to leave vocal protesting and though he grieved many years, John turned his sadness, anger, and pain into poetry and song. His poem, “Tina Smiled” was dedicated to the memory of Tina Manning. The circumstances may dictate the action but we will not want the action to be dictated at all. Revenge may be warranted and even thought about but it will not be directly perpetrated. It will be mother nature's way of changing things in your favor. A karmic revenge. In the short story “Sweat” by Zora Neale Hurston, Delia herself knew
that,
“Whatever goes over the Devil's back, is got to come under his belly.” Delia had to deal with a man who scared her purposefully, put her down, beat her and had no regard for their marriage vows. Sykes was a man that most would have considered getting rid of personally but Delia did not choose to execute him she allowed karmic revenge to take control and even then she felt “pity to strong to support”. Despite all that Sykes had done, there was still a deep affection there for Delia to feel so badly for the way that this man dies. Sykes had been such a delightful and pleasant gentleman when they had married. It is true that we do not like to see injustices go unpunished but at the same time no one deserves to die in this way. If we have any iota and compassion for our fellow human beings most of us will not enjoy seeing anyone die in any way. Through Sykes' death Delia was physically free but she would not be mentally free. His eyes full of pain would haunt her forever. Children in most cases are fortunate that they do not have to experience the traumatic events Delia experienced. Children are wonderful in that they are completely honest. If a child does not want a certain food then they will not eat it. If the child dislikes you, the child will be sure to tell you directly rather than beat around the bush. If you betray a child, you will most definitely know and you will also feel the result of their vengeance...literally! Childish revenge was the case in Galway Kinney's “It All Comes Back” when the child catches his father laughing Galway says that the child “in an indignant fury he jabbed his thumb into the corners of my mouth, grasped my cheeks, and yanked.” This poem shows the physical (and quite painful) result of a perceived betrayal that does not lead to death and can show us that although they may not understand the concepts of betrayal and revenge even children can let anger overpower them to a point that they won't and in most cases cannot deal with or comprehend how the anger will affect them. The bad news is that when the child get older (and hopefully wiser) he can choose to stick by his act of revenge and let an embarrassing event affect him for the rest of his life. The good news is that he can also follow the son's example and finally learn that it is not worth staying bitter over the fact that your dad laughed at you for peeing on yourself in front of the whole family on Christmas Eve when you were five years old. To attempt revenge for silly little things is not only childish, it is not good for your health or for the people you love the most. In other instances although there is an obvious pain involved, the need for vengeance may be dissolved with a simple shake of the head and an “onwards, ho!” attitude but the awful memory of that day will never be forgotten. In Marilyn Nelson's “Minor Miracle” a woman and her friend are enjoying the sunshine and each other's company while out bike riding. A man in a truck drives past a stop sign which causes one the bikers to warn the man that he was supposed to stop at the intersection. The trucker instead of thanking the man the trucker yelled angrily,
“You fucking niggers!”
No one enjoys being insulted and disrespected with such a slur and for most people it would have been justifiable to physically teach this man a lesson. The thing is that in most cases vengeance may only help to escalate things especially where there is already tension. The bicycle riders barely had time to react when the twist in this story occurred. The man got out of his truck, walked up to the bikers and said the magic words,
“I just want to say I'm sorry” The man had been very fortunate that he seemed to run into pretty forgiving people. If it had been anyone else, to be quite blunt, he would not have made it to his truck. The story of “Minor Miracle” is a minor miracle within itself and unlike the poem Harlem gives the hope that if we choose to not satisfy our anger we can also choose to gain the upper hand and make things work in our favor. We do not know if the recipients of this anger retaliated or forgave their aggressor but it can be assumed by their initial reaction that they had chosen to forgive or at the very least did their best to educate the man on what he had done wrong. It is understandable that once an injustice is done many people do not like to leave things up in the air. A wrong must be absolutely made right. I used to believe this as well but I see now that the problem with vengeance is that we will no longer be sentient human beings. The hunger for vengeance will turn us into mindless machines that cause wars, havoc and all kinds of chaos. Vengeance is silly, childish, toxic and we must simply do better if we want to continue our existence on this earth.
Human beings have to look within themselves and ask, “Am I doing this to preserve life and love or am I doing this to promote death and hate?”
Vengeance is like a destructive never-ending cycle while forgiveness is the life blood that supports us all and lifts us up in our darkest moments. What will you choose? Will you choose to promote the cycle of hate or will you choose to find closure and peace in your heart?
As John Trudell once said, “No matter what they ever do to us, we must always act for the love of our people and the earth. We must not react out of hatred against those who have no sense.”