Misconceptions About Temitayo's Life
Temitayo’s shared a difficult time in her life to be the death of her mother. Temitayo stated that her mother passed away very young. In Nigeria, Temitayo reported that if you die before your 70th birthday you have been considered to have died young. Temitayo describes Nigerian funerals to be a celebration of a person’s life. The funeral lasts two days. On the first day, there is a wake keeping. At a wake keeping “family members and others carry pictures of the dead person and dance to gospel tunes by their favorite DJ’s in a party like atmosphere.” (Akunia, 2005) On the second day, friends and family members attend church and the burial and celebrate with another party with food, family members, friends, and neighbors. Family is very
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important in Nigerian culture. Temitayo reports that when a person in her culture talks about family she is talking about not just her immediate family but her Aunts, Uncles, and cousins. Relationships are very strong but words were not used to express feelings and emotions. Temitayo stated that in her culture, Nigerian parents do not hug their children or tell them they love them all the time. Children knew that they were loved that through their parents actions, and proving for them. Nigerian mothers as Temitayo describes “would die for their children and would go to any length to take care of them.” Temitayo gave the example of a Nigerian mother feeding her children before themselves and disclosed that a mother would rather starve if it meant that her children had food. In some Nigerian cultures, elders are supposed to be served first during a meal but leave food in the bowl for the children to eat as left overs. (Kwashi). Nigerian mothers also try to protect and prevent their children from being exposed to the negative aspects of the world. Temitayo recalled when she was a young girl, her mothers sister had passed away and her mother did everything she could not to let her children feel her sadness and did not want her children to feel stress.
As stated earlier education was very important in her family. Temitayo stated that all of her siblings have either a Masters or Doctorate degree. Once Temitayo completed high school she went on to further her education and attended the most prestigious college in Nigeria, University of Ibadan. “The University of Ibadan, was founded in 1948, is the oldest university in Nigeria and the only institution founded before the country became independent in 1960”(University of Ibadan). Temitayo stated that she studied Medical of Physiology and obtained her Bachelor of Science degree. It was at The University of Ibadan that Temitayo met her husband.
Sixteen years ago Temitayo and her husband immigrated to United States. According to Brammer (2012) “Africans come for economic opportunities, to escape oppression, for better health care, to improve their education, and to provide financial support to family remaining in their home countries.” Temitayo stated that this was not the case for she and her husband, stating that she had a great life in Nigeria, but wanted to come to America for other opportunities such as advanced medical practices and treatment for parents who are having difficulty conceiving children. Temitayo discussed before she and her husband migrated to the United States, she has suffered many miscarriages, and was hoping coming America she would be eligible to receive better medical treatment then in Nigeria. Temitayo also stated she and her husband also came to the United States to obtain privacy and peace. In Nigeria, everyone believes that there is an open door policy. Neighbors, friends, and family would show up as early as six o’clock in the morning asking for help with something or wanting to talk. Temitayo stated that if she knew then what she knows now she would have stayed in Nigeria. Temitayo reported that there are times she wishes that she had her family and friends around for her when times are hard. When migrating from Nigeria, a socio-centric culture that stresses the necessity of striving for collective interest to the U.S. a egocentric society where individuals sacrifice their hopes and dreams and desires in the name of the collective interest, Nigerian women must learn to cope cognitively, attitudinally and behaviorally in the cultural system. (“Depression and Nigerian-born immigrant women in the United States: A phenomenological study,” 2008) Temitayo discussed several challenges she faced being in a new county with no other family supports but her husband. Temitayo stated that finding a job was extremely difficult and found herself putting in applications everywhere. Temitayo stated that she went to one of the agencies to see if they had received her resume. When she entered the office she was greeted by a women informed her that the company did receive her resume and responded “oh you are the applicant whose name I can not pronounce” and reveled that she was the one who was suppose to contact her for an interview but did not because she did not know how to pronounce her name she did not want to insult her.” Temitayo stated that not being able to pronounce her name is minor to some of the other challenges she faces. Temitayo stated that because of her thick accent many people have a misconception that she is not intelligent. According to (“Depression and Nigerian-born immigrant women in the United States: A phenomenological study,” 2008), “language problems, including accents are the number one biggest challenges Nigerian born immigrants face in the US.” Temitayo disclosed that there have been many times people have been frustrated with her on the phone or completely dismissed her during a meeting because they could not understand what she was saying. Temitayo stated that she does not have to prove her worth to no one, and stated that she has learned to shake off this stereotype and tell herself that there is nothing wrong with being different.
Toyin Ayeni mentions in her book “I am Nigerian, Not a Terrorist” some common misconceptions about Nigerian people by non-Nigerians.
These misconceptions include: 1. Nigerians are the only con artists around, so watch out for them. 2. Nothing good comes out of Nigeria besides the oil. 3. You can’t visit Nigeria because it is totally unsafe. 4. Nigerians cannon speak English, are uneducated and live in huts or in the jungle. 5. Nigerians, like all Africans, are as black as a chalkboard. When asking Temitayo this question she stated that the biggest misconception she knows about her culture is Nigerians being involved in scams, and the misconception in the U.S. that no one has an …show more content…
accent.
Temitayo stated that one of the biggest challenge she faced migrating to US was not have the support system and family environment she had in Nigeria.
Temitayo and her husband have four children, twin girls who are 15, and two sons ages 14 and 12. All of Temitayo’s children were born in the United States. Temitayo discussed how hard it was to raise her children without the help and support of your family. In a new country where you already are having a difficult time adjusting to a new language, different customs and norms for social interactions, are unfamiliar to rules and laws could lead to increase acculturation stress (“Depression and Nigerian-born immigrant women in the United States: A phenomenological study,” 2008) it was even harder to raise your children without your extended family. Temitayo stated that it is very difficult to trust others, and that she and her husband shared the responsibility of raising their children without help. Temitayo stated that she was very connected to her church and when her children were young some older ladies from her church came to her home to help out. Although Temitayo had some supports through her church, it was still not equivalent to the support she would have received in
Nigeria.
Raising children in America is a difficult task for any parents. Temitayo reported its even harder to raise American children when you yourself were raised in a completely different culture. Temitayo stated that she and her husband continue to try to instill their cultural family beliefs and values in their children. Religion and prayer continue to be a big part of Temitayo’s family values. Temitayo stated that she and her family pray every morning together before they leave for the day and again at night. Temitayo stated that treating others with respect as well as being truthful and having morals are huge values that she and her husband have instilled in their children. Temitayo shared it is very difficult to instill Nigerian cultural values in her children as she herself has lost some of them. Temitayo stated her children get very angry and upset when they see others treating her and husband with disrespect and asking them over and over to repeat what they are saying. Temitayo reported that she tells her children that it will be ok, and to give others the benefit of the doubt that they may really be having a difficult time understanding her. True to her Nigerian culture, Temitayo continues to provide her children with a loving shield of protection from unnecessary stress. Temitayo and her husband understand that there may be times people will judge them, make fun of how they talk, or make them feel like a “second hand citizen”(Temitayo described this to be a name the British call people who were not born in London but acquired citizenship there) but they will continue to instill into their children to always respect others, be truthful, and have good morals.
When asked the question, “What do you think will help others change how people perceive others?” Temitayo’s answer was “The best thing is to give others the opportunity to learn about you as a person. To not judge a book by its cover. Respecting yourself will allow you to give respect to others, and to be patient with others who may not speak, look, or have the same cultural beliefs as you.”
important in Nigerian culture. Temitayo reports that when a person in her culture talks about family she is talking about not just her immediate family but her Aunts, Uncles, and cousins. Relationships are very strong but words were not used to express feelings and emotions. Temitayo stated that in her culture, Nigerian parents do not hug their children or tell them they love them all the time. Children knew that they were loved that through their parents actions, and proving for them. Nigerian mothers as Temitayo describes “would die for their children and would go to any length to take care of them.” Temitayo gave the example of a Nigerian mother feeding her children before themselves and disclosed that a mother would rather starve if it meant that her children had food. In some Nigerian cultures, elders are supposed to be served first during a meal but leave food in the bowl for the children to eat as left overs. (Kwashi). Nigerian mothers also try to protect and prevent their children from being exposed to the negative aspects of the world. Temitayo recalled when she was a young girl, her mothers sister had passed away and her mother did everything she could not to let her children feel her sadness and did not want her children to feel stress.
As stated earlier education was very important in her family. Temitayo stated that all of her siblings have either a Masters or Doctorate degree. Once Temitayo completed high school she went on to further her education and attended the most prestigious college in Nigeria, University of Ibadan. “The University of Ibadan, was founded in 1948, is the oldest university in Nigeria and the only institution founded before the country became independent in 1960”(University of Ibadan). Temitayo stated that she studied Medical of Physiology and obtained her Bachelor of Science degree. It was at The University of Ibadan that Temitayo met her husband.
Sixteen years ago Temitayo and her husband immigrated to United States. According to Brammer (2012) “Africans come for economic opportunities, to escape oppression, for better health care, to improve their education, and to provide financial support to family remaining in their home countries.” Temitayo stated that this was not the case for she and her husband, stating that she had a great life in Nigeria, but wanted to come to America for other opportunities such as advanced medical practices and treatment for parents who are having difficulty conceiving children. Temitayo discussed before she and her husband migrated to the United States, she has suffered many miscarriages, and was hoping coming America she would be eligible to receive better medical treatment then in Nigeria. Temitayo also stated she and her husband also came to the United States to obtain privacy and peace. In Nigeria, everyone believes that there is an open door policy. Neighbors, friends, and family would show up as early as six o’clock in the morning asking for help with something or wanting to talk. Temitayo stated that if she knew then what she knows now she would have stayed in Nigeria. Temitayo reported that there are times she wishes that she had her family and friends around for her when times are hard. When migrating from Nigeria, a socio-centric culture that stresses the necessity of striving for collective interest to the U.S. a egocentric society where individuals sacrifice their hopes and dreams and desires in the name of the collective interest, Nigerian women must learn to cope cognitively, attitudinally and behaviorally in the cultural system. (“Depression and Nigerian-born immigrant women in the United States: A phenomenological study,” 2008) Temitayo discussed several challenges she faced being in a new county with no other family supports but her husband. Temitayo stated that finding a job was extremely difficult and found herself putting in applications everywhere. Temitayo stated that she went to one of the agencies to see if they had received her resume. When she entered the office she was greeted by a women informed her that the company did receive her resume and responded “oh you are the applicant whose name I can not pronounce” and reveled that she was the one who was suppose to contact her for an interview but did not because she did not know how to pronounce her name she did not want to insult her.” Temitayo stated that not being able to pronounce her name is minor to some of the other challenges she faces. Temitayo stated that because of her thick accent many people have a misconception that she is not intelligent. According to (“Depression and Nigerian-born immigrant women in the United States: A phenomenological study,” 2008), “language problems, including accents are the number one biggest challenges Nigerian born immigrants face in the US.” Temitayo disclosed that there have been many times people have been frustrated with her on the phone or completely dismissed her during a meeting because they could not understand what she was saying. Temitayo stated that she does not have to prove her worth to no one, and stated that she has learned to shake off this stereotype and tell herself that there is nothing wrong with being different.
Toyin Ayeni mentions in her book “I am Nigerian, Not a Terrorist” some common misconceptions about Nigerian people by non-Nigerians.
These misconceptions include: 1. Nigerians are the only con artists around, so watch out for them. 2. Nothing good comes out of Nigeria besides the oil. 3. You can’t visit Nigeria because it is totally unsafe. 4. Nigerians cannon speak English, are uneducated and live in huts or in the jungle. 5. Nigerians, like all Africans, are as black as a chalkboard. When asking Temitayo this question she stated that the biggest misconception she knows about her culture is Nigerians being involved in scams, and the misconception in the U.S. that no one has an …show more content…
accent.
Temitayo stated that one of the biggest challenge she faced migrating to US was not have the support system and family environment she had in Nigeria.
Temitayo and her husband have four children, twin girls who are 15, and two sons ages 14 and 12. All of Temitayo’s children were born in the United States. Temitayo discussed how hard it was to raise her children without the help and support of your family. In a new country where you already are having a difficult time adjusting to a new language, different customs and norms for social interactions, are unfamiliar to rules and laws could lead to increase acculturation stress (“Depression and Nigerian-born immigrant women in the United States: A phenomenological study,” 2008) it was even harder to raise your children without your extended family. Temitayo stated that it is very difficult to trust others, and that she and her husband shared the responsibility of raising their children without help. Temitayo stated that she was very connected to her church and when her children were young some older ladies from her church came to her home to help out. Although Temitayo had some supports through her church, it was still not equivalent to the support she would have received in
Nigeria.
Raising children in America is a difficult task for any parents. Temitayo reported its even harder to raise American children when you yourself were raised in a completely different culture. Temitayo stated that she and her husband continue to try to instill their cultural family beliefs and values in their children. Religion and prayer continue to be a big part of Temitayo’s family values. Temitayo stated that she and her family pray every morning together before they leave for the day and again at night. Temitayo stated that treating others with respect as well as being truthful and having morals are huge values that she and her husband have instilled in their children. Temitayo shared it is very difficult to instill Nigerian cultural values in her children as she herself has lost some of them. Temitayo stated her children get very angry and upset when they see others treating her and husband with disrespect and asking them over and over to repeat what they are saying. Temitayo reported that she tells her children that it will be ok, and to give others the benefit of the doubt that they may really be having a difficult time understanding her. True to her Nigerian culture, Temitayo continues to provide her children with a loving shield of protection from unnecessary stress. Temitayo and her husband understand that there may be times people will judge them, make fun of how they talk, or make them feel like a “second hand citizen”(Temitayo described this to be a name the British call people who were not born in London but acquired citizenship there) but they will continue to instill into their children to always respect others, be truthful, and have good morals.
When asked the question, “What do you think will help others change how people perceive others?” Temitayo’s answer was “The best thing is to give others the opportunity to learn about you as a person. To not judge a book by its cover. Respecting yourself will allow you to give respect to others, and to be patient with others who may not speak, look, or have the same cultural beliefs as you.”