It was the beginning of my freshman year of highschool when my mom began to see bugs in my food, my mattress, and any place imaginable, or rather the beginning of my mom’s hallucinations. That year I found out my mom was addicted to crystal meth. I could not believe it. We went from watching A&E’s Intervention together, a show about drug addicts, to my mom becoming a drug addict. That is when my world came crashing down. It was the start of one of the most important times of my life and knowing that my mom would not be there to mentally, emotionally, and often physically, support me was tough. It was extremely hard not being able to eat because my mom swore there were bugs in my food to my mattress being thrown out because “it was infested with bedbugs.” It was tough having to call other people to give me a ride to school because my mom was not capable of doing so. Not being able to go to sleep because I was worried my mom would leave in the middle of the night because she was jacked up on meth. But this was just a regular day…
At the age of ten, my mother told me that she was leaving my father. I wasn't sad; in fact it was a relief. My house was always in constant chaos. My sister, my mother, and I faced the aggressive side effects of my father's addiction. I grew up watching my dad treat my family like nothing, as if he was in constant control of us and he was the only person that mattered. When my mom broke the news to me that they were getting a divorce, I did not understand at the time it was because of my dad's drug and alcohol addiction. I thought when he passed…
I lost my daughter when she was 9mts old. My brother had got temporary custody when I went to jail. Once I was released, I couldn’t stay clean long enough to pass a drug test. I felt horrible because I was a junkie. I couldn’t change any of it. I wanted to be a good mom, daughter, sister and friend. This addiction had its claws on me and wouldn’t let go. My parents had completely wiped their hands of me when I lost my daughter. No one in my family wanted to be around me either. This is when I hit my bottom. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I went to my parents and told them I wanted to go to rehab. They didn’t want to spend the money for me to go, because I had been once before and it didn’t do any good. I finally convinced them that I was ready to go and I was really going to try this time. Once I got to rehab I applied myself. I read from the AA big book and the NA book almost the whole time I was there. This is where most of my education on this disease came from. I was not the only person with this disease. There was help if I wanted it. That’s what I decided to do. I got…
Though I have not experienced my own addictions I have been directly affected by those of my close friend Jason. In the time since junior high until now I have had an amazing friend in my life named Jason, I met him through mutual friends in 9th grade. Our friendship grew stronger over time and eventually he sat me down to explain that he was addicted to both alcohol and cocaine. As I was being told every detail of what he had been going through for the passed year of his life all I could think was how it was now my job to find help for him. From this point on I became very devoted to finding him help and trying to support him. Often times I had to distance myself from the situation because his changes in personality became to hard to focus on my own life. At many point in the stages of rehab Jason was in he changed drastically from being the person I knew to a very angry and bitter person. Grief was a feeling I found myself feeling a lot during his time in rehab, the quote from ‘The…
I had no idea who I was or what to expect. Living with all the negativity, lack of parental…
I can remember all the way back to when I was a young child in elementary. I didn’t think much about the kids around me or how they lived and I can honestly say that very few kids stick out from those years maybe because it seemed to me at the time that we were all pretty much the same except for our physical appearances. What I can remember about the kids in junior high school was the need to fit in and be liked at all costs. Making fashion statements were much more important than answering the question about the meaning of life. High school though became a stepping stone into the complex and dynamic reality of the world around me that I had never investigated nor even identified. Beginning with my freshman year I encountered many more students than I ever thought I would. I started to notice quite quickly that the school population was extremely diverse and segmented. Groups were everywhere; jocks, nerds, gothic kids, trouble makers, and of course the ever present popular kids. This was the first time I could see with my own eyes the fact that we were actually quite different from each other. Kids that I had befriended in junior high slowing began to change and pull away from me for reasons that were not understandable to me at the time. In actuality, not only were they going through changes but I was going through them as well. My taste in clothes, music, sports, and my views on certain topics began to expand and diversify. Yet I started to realize that in doing so meant leaving my old friends behind and meeting new ones. My family had always been a cornerstone in my life who established my belief system as far as religion and values and therefore the perspective on the young life I had led up until that point. That upbringing enabled me to be able to compare and contrast the beliefs and ideas of others with my own and so the journey into the world of high school led me to come face to face with that very opportunity. One example which stands out in my mind…
There had been tension in my household, and I was always uncomfortable. I tried my hardest to stay out of the house by hanging out with my friends. Their parents enjoyed my company and had let me stay the night a plethora of times. It was a relief for me because I did not have to stress over the unbearable judgment of my family. I was gone for a week, going from house to house partying, drinking, and being reckless. I had recently turned 18, and I felt no one could authorize me. I thought of myself as an adult, and I soon came to realize I would be treated like an adult.…
In the fall of 2014 I developed a severe case of depression and even after time in a primary care facility, I was unable to attend my senior year of high school in 2015. Instead, I moved out on my own where I wandered aimlessly without ever leaving my bed. To admit that my excursion through depression was still holding me back from reaching my potential and that I needed more help was one of the hardest things I have ever done, and also the best decision of my life.…
Freshman year was very rough for me for two specific reasons. One of my closest friends had a severe car accident and he ended up at the hospital with critical condition. As the time passed by friends, family, and I had aspirations that he would make it. Though, we also knew it was very unlikely. After, my friend’s passing away I went into a deep depression because I had never lost anyone before. I had no idea how to cope with the concept of death, especially not with someone’s death that I knew. Growing up in the neighborhood that I did, the only way I found to cope with the death was through substance abuse. The day was September 20th, 2013 when I received my suspension from high school. That Friday morning I had smoked before class began…
I have experienced firsthand conformity to something that I didn’t even enjoy, but chose to engage myself in because I wanted to be apart of the “cool crowd.” As teenagers, we are exposed to the many dangers of alcohol and drugs in our high school years, and we go through a series of friends until we are able to find the right ones. During my sophomore year, I started to hang around the “popular crowd” and as this progressed, I began to neglect time with family and I started to set aside homework in order to hang out with them. Every Friday night we would stay out late to watch movies at someone’s house, and occasionally drink. Although I didn’t even enjoy consuming alcohol or even smelling it, I did it because I had easily given into peer pressure just so that they would accept me into their group. Growing up, I was always told to avoid these kinds of people, but when I was around them, I chose to ignore what was right because I didn’t want to be considered “uncool.” As I grew older, I began to mature and realized that drinking alcohol in order to be accepted was foolish of me. For a long time I hadn’t realized the kinds of dangers I was bringing to my body.…
I was not allowed to drive, sleep in my own room, or have privacy altogether. I was depressed and morose by being limited in my life; I absolutely hated it. Although in my time of being bored I would think to myself, and I noticed that I missed football and school and instantaneously I regretted how I was living my life. Once I got back to school I started doing my homework and pushing myself in football untill I couldn't anymore. After all of that life started getting better and all my friends and family remarked that I was getting happier about…
Now I know to accept changes, whether I believe they are bad or good. Even if you are totally against something, it may turn out to be for the better. I think that if I had gotten my way and gone to Cope, I wouldn’t have made as many friends as I have now, and I really do think that this change was good for…
My parents no longer loved each other, and they felt an obligation to stay together for me. Eventually, the situation became too strenuous to continue to the point where decided to nullify their involvement. For the next years, I bounced between arguments and fights between them, living with one at a time for months then changing my routine....again. My father fell into drugs and soon remarried. I hardly saw my mother due to the fact that she was always working. I spent most of my time in daycare or school and even so I felt very alone. My mother remarried and all her attention was drawn towards her new husband and the baby she was expecting. As a young teenager, again I found myself with no sense of belonging, living a circumforaneous lifestyle and, discovering myself in new foster homes. Although it was difficult to concentrate in school and cope with my melancholic thoughts, I schlepped through and tried hard to make my “alleged” parents proud. Externalizing behaviors were beginning to take root in me as I began to engage in illicit activities. Although they gave me a rush of ecstasy, they did not exhilarate me. I was living an uttermost, mercurial life. As time progressed, I finally found someone to guide me. A laudable man who I admired so much. My instructor TSGT.May. He gave me a helping hand in desperate times of anguish and a shoulder to cry on when no one else would listen. He taught me to be strong…
It was August of 2015 and I no friends, no hope, and I had been out of school for six months. I only had a month left of the summer to decide if I wanted to go back to school.The decision was very difficult because I had to work,I had been badly bullied at my old school, and I had chronic mental illness that was holding me back. For most people they would’ve stayed a drop out but I decided to persevere. Despite my fears I went to a new school with only two weeks left of the summer.…
“If you listen, you might actually learn something,” was a statement I heard too often from my mom as a seventeen year old teenager. Once senior year arrived, I can honestly say that I was truly a different person; someone that I didn’t recognize. I began hanging around with a “new crowd”, skipping school, running away from home, drinking and smoking, something that I’d never tried before; But, while I was trying so hard to fit in, I never realized how many people I would hurt in the process, including myself, and the serious consequences I was going to have to face along the way.…