“And my brother, he does the thing that brothers do, makes me not a single child, which is important. For most of my childhood I would expect that we would be together for quite some time. This isn’t the way that things have turned out which was to be expected but it does seem odd that we see so little of each other now. “ pg 15.
“I told you I didn’t like presents and this is why, when I have a need that isn’t thirsty I never know the way to make it stop. I give myself unsuitable remedies, bad distractions and that’s how I end up remembering time after time that I do much disapprove of pleasures I cant share”. (21)
“its because I want someone I can give flowers to and someone here with me for me”.
“Or even the thought of someone elses marriage hopeful and far off” (23)
[The photograph: The desire for unity and togetherness
“The same with my Father who I knew just as well, but whose scent was an absence”. (IV6)…..The different forms of love…
“My brother has a well planned wife, as well as a marital partner”. (ch v, 3)
“Its like being in love-inhale while your looking at no one: exhale and your someone, theyre more of yourself, an essential extension, your life support. (Vi 20).
Presences and absences of mother and father (VI, Chapter 23.)>>>Lead to other areas of disconnect.
“Im too busy filling with more recollection than I can hold” (Ch viii, 2)
[We fuck out of fear or loneliness: VIII pg 3
[other things are not important, we are important, Ch viii, 9)
Drinking to get closer to you- Ch viii pg 11
[Intimate strangers
2) Sex to reach the desired level of intimacy but she cannot connect:
“Im completely simplified, I am distilled. Washed down to nothing. I remain exactly who I am. No matter where or when. I understand my fundamental sources, my provenance.”
It is quite