Parenting Styles and Child Behavior: Authoritative , Authoritarian and Laissez Fair

There are different types of parenting styles and these parenting styles will affect a child’s behavior and upbringing. As we know, there are three types of parenting styles they are authoritative, authoritarian and laissez fair. Each of these parenting styles has a different outcome towards a child’s behavior and personality. Authoritative style refers to a more balance ground between being too strict and granting too much of freedom (Dewar, 2010). Meanwhile, authoritarian style is demanding but not nurturing (Cherry, 2012a). As for laissez fair style, parents find it easier to avoid providing guidance and discipline for their children, they tend to give their child the freedom to do anything (Murray, 2011).
Authoritative parenting style is the most democratic parenting style among the other types of parenting styles (Cherry, 2012b). According to experts, if you wish to raise a self-reliant, pleasant and a well-behaved child, then authoritative parenting style is the one. Authoritative parents will set rules and guidelines that they expect their children to follow but they also know the importance of having some flexibility in coaching their children. These parents will be in control but never too controlling in their upbringing of their children (Demand Media, 2011). Authoritative parents will explain to their children the reasons for the rules that they set and if the children misbehaves, they would reason with them rather than punish them (Dewar, 2010). For example, an authoritative parent will explain to the child that snacks are allowed in moderation but it is not very healthy even though it is tasty (Demand Media, 2011). If the child fails to meet the expectations that is set, these parents will be more nurturing and forgiving as they do not believe in punishment (Cherry, 2012b). Authoritative parents are also not afraid of expressing love and affection to their children and they know that their expressions of emotion will not affect their ability to discipline their children (Demand Media, 2011).
Furthermore, parents who for this type of parenting style will offer their children a lot of emotional support (Dewar, 2010). When parents are there for their children, parents are able to protect their children from developing socializing problems and when children are more open about the way they feel, the children are able to become better mind readers (Dewar, 2010). Authoritative parents are also more involved with their children because they are more responsive towards their child and they are willing to listen to questions that their children oppose (Cherry, 2012b). Besides that, authoritative parents show respect to their children as independent and reasonable beings (Dewar, 2010). As time passes and the child gets older, authoritative parents will encourage more responsibility and freedom with guidelines of well-outlined rules (Demand Media, 2011). As a result of this, authoritative parents expect maturity and cooperation from their children (Dewar, 2010). According to the American Academy of Pediatrics and other children health organization, children from authoritative parents will grow up to be independent, socially successful and respectful of authority (Demand Media, 2011). Also, children raised by authoritative parents will be socially accepted and academically successful. Furthermore, they are less likely to engage in antisocial behavior like drug use. Plus they are also less likely to report depression and anxiety (Dewar, 2010). Maccoboy (1992), states that kids from authoritative parents will be more happy and capable (Maccoboy, 1992, as cited in Cherry, 2012b).
Authoritative parents also foster self-discipline, maturity and respect for others in their children (Dewar, 2010). In an American study that is done with undergraduates about moral problems and how they are going to solve these problems students from authoritative parents will say that their parents will influence their decision and not their peers (Dewar, 2010). However authoritative parenting style may differ from one country to another and sometimes it is not all about democracy. For example, in Australia and the United States, parents will take into account their children preferences when making family plans and the children are even encouraged to express their own opinions. But in countries like China and Russia, authoritative parents do not take their children preferences into account when making family plans. Plus Chinese parents do not encourage their children to voice out their opinions especially opinions that are different from the parents. However there is a similarity in these four countries, which is parents would explain the reasons for the rules that they set and they would talk to their children if they misbehave (Dewar, 2010).
Parenting style is a type of style where parents gain in order to educate their child what is right and wrong. The best known theory of parenting style was created by Diana Baumrind (1967). She proposed that parenting styles fall into one of three categories: authoritarian, indulgent, or authoritative. To explain the authoritarian personality, it is a person who is fairly rigid in their opinions and beliefs or still hold on to some traditional values (Mcleod, 2009). In simple words, children must follow strict rules and regulations that were established by his or her parents and the child do not have choices to choose from. If the children fail to follow the rules, usually they will be punished. A person who has an authoritarian personality is likely to categorize people into groups as he or she thinks that they are more superior compared to the other groups (Mcleod, 2009). So, parents with authoritarian personality have high demands for their child but slightly less responsive to their child compared the other parenting styles.
There is always a saying that authoritarian parenting style is the key to raising responsible children, but when this kind of personality is too much in the parents, how do you think the children will behave? Undoubtedly, parents with this kind of personality normally bring the opposite effect as compare to their own “concept”. When they are educating their children, they believe that children must be nurtured and strictly trained in order to reach their own target set by their parents (Cherry, 2012a). But many children have their very own opinion and they need some space to explore and develop their talent. They do not want be the “puppet” of their parents. Sooner or later, they will go against their parents’ wishes and instruction.
Authoritarian parents normally do not explain why they expect their child to follow their rules and wishes and insist their child to follow instructions and rules established by them (Cobb & Grannis, 1996, as cited in Parenting, 2012). An Authoritarian parent usually forces his or her child to follow the directions and children do not have an opportunity to make their own choices. This makes them feel useless and unsecured in the future because they do not know the consequence of their own choices and they cannot take full responsibility towards their choices. This situation forced them to be dependent on their parents in making important or any decision at all (Dobieski, n.d.). It weakens their intellectual growth, initiative, creativity, the ability to socialize and children might not be able to face their life’s challenges in their future (Dobieski, n.d.).
Authoritarian parents always conduct harsh punishments for their children even though it does not fit the crime that was committed by their child (Bradley, 2006). This caused the children to feel anxious and fear to obey the instructions from their parents as they will be punished if the outcome is not satisfying. So they will always try to live up to their parents' expectations. Fear towards their parents is a very effective way to control their children’s behavior but it also damages the children (Birgitte, n.d.). It makes the child less confident and the child will be fearful to communicate with strangers due to poor communication skills or social skills (Birgitte, n.d.). Furthermore, the relationship between children and parents will become worse when children felt unfair and anger towards the punishment given by their parents. It will affect the emotional development and self esteem of the children (Birgitte, n.d.). It also weakens the development of one child’s sense of identity and child’s ability to understand, express and reciprocate emotions.
Laissez-faire is a French term which translates roughly as “let it be” (Parenting Counts, 2012). It is a style in economic policy which states that a government should not interfere with economics, and just let the marketplace performs out as it will (Rutherford & Nickerson, n.d.). Parents with laissez-faire parenting styles teach their children that all emotions are accepted no matter how they behave either good or bad (Parenting Counts, 2012). These parents act this way because they are not sure of how to handle their children, or might have been confused by the variety of parenting options and end up letting their children to raise themselves up (Freitas, 2012). Laissez-faire parents leave their child on their own to their own decisions without orders or suggestions given to their child unless he or she specifically asked for help. Parents with this style may spoil a child’s childhood and his or her perspective towards life because parents are generally not involved in their child’s life, are disengaged, undemanding, low in responsiveness, and do not set limits (Banks, 2005).
In addition, these are the parents who act as if they are best friends with their child because, out of guilt, they are always working or busy all the time. Out of frustration, parents will fell like giving up or out of necessity towards their child in being the part of a parent (Vincent, 2009). A child often learns to solve his or her own problems without help or guidance which makes the child more independent compared to other children (Samsel, n.d.). Children need to have plenty of parental time and attention, live within routines and structures, have positive role models, room to make choices and develop independence gradually, and have a strong sense of self-belief and high but realistic aspiration not by leaving them aimlessly not knowing what to do next (Brewer, 2011). They might have been a great child at school because they are taught to behave well or they will be punished. These patterns of learning and teaching are giving mixed messages to the child, either to behave well or continue being a spoilt brat (Shaw, 2003). In the future, a child might turn out to be a rotten apple because he or she did not receive education about moral values and social norms.
In a nutshell, we can said that each of these three parenting styles, authoritative, authoritarian and laissez fair has different effects to a child’s personality development in the future. Like what we said in the beginning, authoritative styles refers to a more balance ground being too strict and granting too much of freedom (Dewar, 2010). However authoritarian styles is demanding but not nurturing. As for laissez fair, parents tend to avoid providing guidance and discipline for their children; they tend to give their child the freedom to do anything (Murray, 2011).

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