Personal Narrative Analysis

John Doe
Mr. Doe
AP Lang 4th
31 August 2013
Upside-Down
The morning of 27 February 2013 was just like any other morning of the year. Allow me to walk you through it. My mother woke me up in a fit of rage, as she usually does (apparently I don’t wake up swiftly enough for her). After dragging myself out of bed, I threw some clothes together to look good for the ladies, and then ate some breakfast to keep myself energized for said ladies. Afterwards, I brushed my teeth, put on deodorant, and brushed my hair (don’t want to look and smell like a hobo). Finally, I kissed my mommy and said bye as I headed out the door to go to school. At this point, I hopped in my car and proceeded to plug my phone in to the stereo. If I recall correctly,
the first song to come on was “Mean” by Taylor Swift. Ladies love Tay Tay. After hearing this song, I obviously crank it up as loud as my little speakers will allow, throw my car in reverse, and zoom off down the road. Right turn, left turn, right turn, left turn, “All you’re ever gonna be is-“ and then it happened. What happened? Something that would turn my life upside-down, literally. BOOM! CRASH! BANG! “Where am I?” “What happened?” All of these unanswered questions are flying around my head as I sat in confusion. I came to the realization that I had crashed when I opened my eyes and saw my car filled with smoke and adrenaline was rushing through my veins. I unbuckled my seatbelt and proceeded to smash my head on the roof of my car, which was now the floor. I attempted to open my driver side door but it wouldn’t budge. Next, I climbed in the backseat and attempted to open that door. Bingo! I got out of the car in what probably appeared to be a drunken stupor to anybody around. Thankfully, there actually was someone around. She told me I needed to sit down and wait for an ambulance to arrive. I happily obliged and took little nap. The nap, however, was very short-lived because the cops showed up blaring their sirens on my sleepy little head. I angrily sat up and answered some questions which I don’t remember. I tend to not remember things that happen when I’m only half awake (the concussion I had probably didn’t help too much either). After being questioned, I laid back down and took another short nap while the paramedics arrived. They were slightly more polite and didn’t blare their sirens in my face. They did pull their stupid ambulance right up next to my face though, which obviously woke me up. Now here’s where I begin to get really angry.
The paramedics found it necessary to put a neck immobilizer on me, which prevented me from moving my neck in any way at all, then loaded me in the back of the ambulance. If I were Bruce Banner, I would’ve gone Hulk mode on them in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, I’m Justin Smith, so all I could do was lay there and take it. I put up a pretty good fight though. I soon found out that squirming around made the paramedics quite mad. After figuring this out, I began to do it quite often just to spite them. I think the most common phrase I heard in the back of the ambulance that day was “Calm down there.” Little did they know, infuriating them was actually calming me down. Silly
paramedics. After chilling out for a while, those bimbos began trying to get an IV in my arm. They tried and tried to no avail. After it was all said and done, I had five new holes in my arm and not one of them had an IV sticking out. I think I could’ve done it better myself and I couldn’t even see my arm because of the cone of shame around my neck. Dumb and Dumber decided to call it quits on stabbing me and just let the nurses do it. “We’re almost to the hospital anyways,” they said after trying for 10 minutes. So I finally arrive at the hospital and they roll me into a room where they stab me yet again. This time, however, they got it first try. Makes you wonder how many people have died at the hands of idiotic paramedics like the two I had. Anyways, back to the story. The doctor comes in and hands me a jug and tells me to pee in it. One problem: I had just used to bathroom not even an hour before. So I begin downing bottles of water like they’re going out of style. Finally, after about 4 bottles of water, it hit me and the doctor now had a sample to use. What that sample was for, I will probably never know because he never told me what it was for to begin with (oh well). What I do know is that I now felt like giving the doctor a hug because he had freed me from that awful immobilizer. I could finally move around again! The doctor then disappeared for some time, as they usually do. Upon his return, he blabbered on about some medical mumbo jumbo that I didn’t understand. The only part that I caught was that he was releasing me and that I could go home now. I happily left that place and I hope to not return any time soon. Being a teenager, I wanted to spread the word around the school.
There was one minor flaw in my plan though; my phone was in my car (hopefully). I told my mom and she took me by the towing service where I saw the scraps of what remained of my car. I instantly dove into the mangled mess of metal and broken glass in hopes of finding my precious phone. I searched far and wide for it, but found nothing. Then I heard a beautiful noise; BZZZZZ. BZZZZZ. The sound of what I thought was my hopelessly lost phone lit up my day like a firework. I found it lying under my seat without a single scratch on it. I would make a Lord of the Rings reference, but I would probably get chastised for being too
cliché. Reunited with my beloved phone, pictures of my wreck began spreading through Northwest High School like wildfire. I got the obligatory “omg, are u ok???” texts from just about everyone, but one text stood out among the masses. It simply said “lol.” I would have normally been pretty mad, but it came from none other than Drake Carter, who, to this day, still gives me crap about flipping my car. After all the mayhem and madness of what should have been an average morning, I finally returned to the safe haven of my home. Since I didn’t have to go back to school, I threw some pajamas on and took a nap. Upon waking up, I realized that what had happened to me could’ve been much worse than it really was. For lack of better words, my life had been turned upside-down in more ways than one.