Personal Narrative-It's Vocabulary

Jared is driving home with the unconscious body of a college girl in his car. His next victim. He met her at a frat party that he snuck into. It wasn't hard, all he had to do was wear a polo shirt and bring a six pack and he was in. Of course, he had to act the part as well. It wasn't too difficult, though. He just had to incorporate a lot of 'dude's and curse words into his vocabulary. Jared is an average looking guy with dark brown hair and a medium build. He works at an office job and keeps a low profile. He's a quiet guy and usually keeps to himself, especially his hobbies. Some people enjoy playing Saturday night poker, while others like to fish. Jared's hobbies are a little different than others. He likes to meet up with random girls,
It takes him a minute to remember what happened. His head is throbbing and his body is sore. It feels like his stomach is on fire. He looks down at it and sees a large shard of glass covered in blood stuck in his stomach. He tries to unbuckle his seatbelt but he can’t move. Just as he tries again to move his arm, the driver side window shatters.
“He’s alive! Get the stretcher!” a deep voice shouts.
Jared looks over to the window and sees a couple of men using a large tool to open the door. He tries to wiggle out of his seat but it hurts too much to move. Just then bright lights flood into the car and shines in his eyes. He can’t see a thing but feels himself being lifted onto something. Jared starts to fade in and out and closes his eyes.
His eyes open and there’s figures standing above him. It’s too bright to see anything else, but he hears what they’re saying.
“He needs more oxygen, and make sure there’s enough pressure on his stomach.” a man says.
He tries to move his head to look around.
“Sir, keep your eyes on me, okay? Try to focus on me. Can you hear me?”
Jared opens his mouth to reply. A wimpy ‘ah’ is all he can
One cough turns into two which turns into a large fit. He tastes blood in his throat and feels warmth around the outside of his mouth.
“Oh god, he’s coughing up blood. There’s some internal damage, we need to get him to an ER stat.”
Jared’s eyes start to feel heavy and he drifts off once again.
He wakes up tied to a post. He jerks his arms but he can’t get free.
“Wakey, wakey, little Jared.” A young woman’s voice says.
He looks around. He’s in his basement. His tools are evenly spread out along a plastic table. He hears footsteps and turns his head. In front of him is the college girl with her arms crossed and holding his favorite straight razor.
Jared looks down at his stomach. No glass, no blood, no nothing.
“It took you a while, didn’t it? You came to eventually, though. Thank god, or else I wouldn’t be able to have my fun.”
“Wh-what are you doing? How did you do this?” Jason’s voice growls.
“What? You think you’d get away with this? Of course not, dear. Not even close.”
The college girl slowly walks towards him, kneeling to his face.
“Poor Jared, so messed up and broken.”
Jason’s heart pounds. “You shut up!”
The college girl stands up and looks behind her. “Oh, ladies!” she