Personal Narrative: My First Journal Entry

As stated in my first journal entry, I originally saw this course as a skill to add to my resume. After reading chapter one I realized the value my personal life would gain learning about nonverbal communication, so I went into week two all gung ho and ready to tackle it! I knew having this skill would put my life back on track by giving me the tools I needed to hide my screwed-up life. This would lead to new friendships and relationships where I could verbally open myself up to others. All I had to do was apply everything I learned in this course. I was in a ‘fake it till I make it’ working towards a ‘believe it till I be it’ when reality slammed into me. Instead of the glitter and rainbows I imagined, what I developed was a love/ hate relationship
Knowing the cues and knowing what I’m exposing makes me face my part in where my life is right now. Only I am the sole person responsible for being alone right now, and even though I deeply want to develop relationships with people in a nonromantic way, I’m not sure how to let go of my hurt so I can move forward. I know if I give it time everything will fall into place. I just must be patient, which isn’t my strong
I’ve studied couples as they walk together, and the physical distance between a couple and whether they’re touching sends nonverbal cues of intimacy and passion. I’ve observed young couples where the man was pulling the woman’s hand towards him while she continuously tried to pull away, and I’ve seen older couples where you couldn’t tell where one person begun and the other ended. Observing other people shows me what I want to exhibit; to the world, to new and old friends, and to a potential new partner. I just must give myself some time to get over my pain so I can radiate happiness