Personal Narrative: The Ugly

“Ugly” is something I said I would refrain from during my campaign for office. I’m going to hold true to that through the election and afterwards, win or lose. My reasoning for that is; I know whoever is elected must move forward and serve the citizens, regardless of what happens during the campaign, whether that be me or one of my opponents. It is a hard enough job with the amount of hatred already surrounding police officers. Adding insult to injury is bad for our community.

Tough questions have been asked of all candidates for several offices, not just the office I seek. Some of those questions have been pointless in my opinion, others have been necessary I suppose. I have never asked a supporter or undecided voter to ask any question
on my behalf. As a matter of fact, I’ve asked just the opposite of them. Anyone that does so, does so on their own. The only real question is “which candidate has best shown they are more capable of doing the job”, regardless of the office. In and of itself, a law enforcement career is stressful. Campaigning to keep that career as an elected Sheriff is equally trying. It only adds to the stress when you are the only person with something to lose.

Many put a lot of stake in rumor and “coffee shop talk”, others take it for what it is. I guess it mainly depends on the source as to what the truth is and what is skewed for some other reason. Either way, it’s not healthy. It is the worst form of “bullying” and it is multiplied and exaggerated in small towns. I think people that strive on that must be lonely and need a+ention or they’re just downright mean. Either way, opinions are developed, and reputations are distorted, for whatever reason.

I ignore most of it. Sometimes I chuckle at it. What I won’t do is let it consume me or become the basis for which I live my life, do my job, or run my campaign. I do this because I put my pants on the same way everyone else does. The only difference between me and any other person is; after I put my pants on, I top it off with a duty belt, vest, and a badge and go out and defend the people. I gladly do that with compassion for my fellow man, fairness to those who misstep, and understanding for those who have just had a bad day.

I’ve witnessed things in this job that run the gambit of emotions. I’ve been spit on, punched, kicked, cursed, called every name known to man, and been accused of everything under the sun. Yesterday I was even called a “weed dealer”. I’ve interacted with people on their best days and fought with others on their worse. At some point I’ve arrested someone’s son, daughter, brother, sister, mother, father, grandma, and grandpa. More times than not, I take the blame for that person’s fall from grace, rather than seeing the individual take responsibility for their own actions. Other times I have been greeted witha handshake and a smile and thanked for helping someone point their life in the right direction. I’ve saved lives and good Lord willing, I will never have to take one.

As you can imagine, it is not always a gratifying experience. I don’t know any officer who does it for gratification. I do it because I chose the career path that would enable me to do the most good. A career path comprised of a small group of men and women, willing to go the extra mile. A career path most people will not, or cannot subject themselves to. Sometimes those men and women need your thoughtfulness at the end of a hard day. They have their own lives to live and families to care for, during and after they stop caring for yours.

I too have my own life. Some parts I shield from the public, other parts I share. I don’t mind talking about most of it, but I also like privacy when it comes to certain ma+ters. It is, for the most part, really boring, unless you like getting your information from tabloids and “unsocial” media. I’ve done stupid things that get attention. I’ve done brilliant things that go unnoticed. I guess it really just depends on what your flavor is. Apparently I have gotten some criticism about my “professionalism” when not at work. Uh oh!
Get a rope!

A lot of people have never seen me out of uniform or mingled with me on a personal level. Many of you wouldn’t recognize me in the grocery store. This may surprise you, but I don’t sleep in my uniform! Yes, I enjoy time away from the grind.

I drive a really old GMC truck and a really nice Harley Davidson. I love them both. Time permitting, I would much rather ride my motorcycle more than drive my truck. It is relaxing and fun. I’ve also been on a train, horse, tractor, boat, see saw, and I once rode a camel and flew an airplane. Not at the same time.

I am not wealthy, or even remotely close to it.
I am what I like to refer as, “comfortably poor”. I rent the house I live in, which happens to be in a wonderful neighborhood with outstanding neighbors. I’ve tried home ownership on a deputy’s salary and it didn’t work out. My neighbors and I talk to each other face to face. We lend tools, we borrow sugar. I try to cut my own grass twice a week whether it needs it or not. I’ve never had the “yard of the month” but I take pride in how smooth it looks. I take care of my place because that’s what good people do. I’ve been a landlord, I appreciate my landlord, I think he appreciates me. I have two roommates that are both dogs. Where we live is almost too big for the three of us. We don’t need the house on the hill. It seems wasteful.

I live alone because I am divorced and divorced on other than ideal terms. Rarely is there an “ideal divorce”, I guess. This is the part of my life that is really not anyone’s business. I look at it like this; if you don’t care enough to help put out the fire, I don’t think you get to sift through the ashes. Either way, I try not to let cross words leave my mouth about it. I am sure sorry to the people I let down and thankful to those who understood. Hard lessons
learned.

I like wearing a ball cap. More times than not, I think it feels better when it’s turned around backwards. It’s not that I am a “punk” or some sort of a “tough guy”, but more that the bill can be annoying and I always feel that it is bent or crooked.

I have jeans with holes in them. I prefer them over those that don’t. Again, not because I am making a fashion statement or trying to be like one of the cool kids, but because they feel good and they are, in my opinion, finally broke in.

Sometimes I wear cowboy boots, tennis shoes, and flip flops but I am not a cowboy, a tennis player, or a surfer.

I wear bandanas when I ride. Not because I try to be noticed, but because I get helmet hair and it does good to keep the sweat out of your eyes while trying to drive. I also wear it when I ride my bicycle, it doesn’t make it any less useful.

I like the taste of beer. I think it goes good with summertime, BBQ, and festivals. I have heard a lot of deep conversations transpire over a cold one. Some I’ve been involved in, others I have just listened to. I also like to think beer is my contribution to recycling.

I attempt to play golf when I can and I still play softball, mostly with folks half my age. There are a few even older than me and I admire that. I try to keep up with them as best I can. It keeps me young.

Sometimes I use rough language but refrain from taking the Lord’s name in vain. Sometimes adjectives get lost and a strong curse word comes out instead. I try not to do it in public places and I cringe when I hear other people do that.

I have been known to use my middle finger, although, I can’t remember the last time I gave someone “the bird” with any sincerity. I also frequently utilize the “peace sign” and “hang loose”.

I have ta+oos. None of them are vulgar and some center around life in law enforcement.

I could go on and on, but what it boils down to is that I am a person just like all of you. Some of you live a life very similar, others may not be as fortunate. The only difference for me is that it all changes when I gear up and go to work. I leave all of that stuff at home and bust my bu+t so others can make it through the day/night with some sense of security, knowing good cops are standing guard. I’ve shown this over the years with impeccable service and I can be extremely proud of my accomplishments, regardless of the outcome of any election.

I think it is important to have a candidate that is real, regardless of what office they are running for. When you don’t have people in place that can relate, or try to be something they are not, all you have left is a politician. Social status really has li+tle to do with one’s ability to perform certain tasks, even more so when they have already shown the ability is present.

If you as a voter can’t get behind that, I understand. If your vote has to go for someone else, I understand. Either way, the show must go on. I’m just thrilled you took the time to read this through. I’m sure it won’t get shared, posted on bulletin boards, make front pages, or get a whole lot of second thoughts, simply because it wasn’t negative enough. The sad reality is, now days negative is so much more exciting, even if it pales in comparison to a world of positive. That will become evident by all the negative remarks this will surely get, after it has been posted. Thanks to those who have supported me and continue to do so.