Chapter 10 - Overview
Listening vs. Hearing
Barriers to Effective Listening
The Building Blocks of Effective Listening
Understanding Nonverbal Behavior
Assertive Skills
Useful Framework for Assertive Behavior
The Perception Check
Nonverbal Aspects of Assertiveness
Listening vs. Hearing
Hearing is automatic
Listening is active, requires a conscious decision
Not much training on listening
Most people don’t do it very well
When working to improve communication skills, people often overlook listening
Blocks to Effective Listening
Judging
Mind Reading
Interrupting
Comparing
Advising
Rehearsing
Stage-Hogging
Filtering
Derailing
Daydreaming
Placating
Hidden Agendas
Overreacting
Stereotyping
The Building Blocks of Effective Listening
Paraphrasing
Clarifying
Giving Feedback
Immediate
Honest
Supportive
Being Empathic
Listening with Openness
Be Non-Judgmental
Listening with Awareness
Observe Nonverbal Behaviors
Understanding Nonverbal Behavior
Mehrabian Study
93% of the meaning is communicated nonverbally
7% by words
38% by paralanguage – tone of voice, vocal inflections
55% by body language – facial expressions, body posture and movements
Personal Space
Touching
Personal distance
The Rules for Effective Nonverbal Communication
Rule 1: Maintain good eye contact but don’t stare
Rule 2: To communicate interest in another, face the person squarely with arms open, smile, nod your head at appropriate times and gesture freely
Rule 3: Speak clearly, fairly rapidly, and modulate your voice tone to keep it interesting
Rule 4: Use the power of touch appropriately
Rule 5: Respect the personal space of others
Assertiveness Skills
Assertiveness involves standing up for your personal rights without violating the rights of others
Basic message is This is what I think. This is what I feel. This is how I view the situation.
Contributes to effectiveness, higher self-esteem, lower