Satire On Global Warming
WARNING! Life as we know it will cease to exist in about 10-15 years. Costal areas will flood, the air will be tainted with carbon dioxide, all volcanoes will erupt, and mountains will slide into oceans. We are to blame for this terrible disaster, humans have created global warming!
You can minimally increase the amount of time we have by taking drastic measures that will inconvenience our day to day routine which we are so dearly accustomed to. I know that many of you are unconvinced that humans are the cause of this global climate change. But the evidence presented to us in An Inconvenient Truth is undeniable. Our former vice president Al Gore has tried to warn us about our doom and the time to act upon it is now!
How could you truly be so selfish to think that the large reduction in convinence and comfort isn’t worth it? Even when there is a tiny possibility …show more content…
There are some who say that the global warming trend is totally natural.
They say that the Earth warms and cools in a cyclical fashion, going to and fro through periods of warming, then cooling, then warming again. Some say that increased activity of the Sun is responsible.
Don’t believe the propaganda of the Fear Mongers who only wish to profit from scaring you and feeding you platitudes that everything is OK. Don’t believe the doomsday profiteers that just want to use reassurances of security and safety to boost the bottom line for their corporate shareholders. Annihilation is imminent, and none of us will
survive.
So what can we do to have a nominal impact on global warming?
Give up electricity
Technology is not the solution. Technology is the problem. I’m sure that we could all just do fine without heat in the winter, or air conditioning in the summer. On the commune, we simply huddle together to keep warm. When it’s hot, we weave reeds together to make fans, and take turns fanning each other. You will also have no further need for refrigeration when you follow the next suggestion.
Grow a garden
You should be eating fresh, raw, natural foods anyway. Animals are not here to serve us. We are here to serve them (Baked, boiled, broiled, or barbecued. Yum. ~Fiar). Growing a garden not only gives you the food you need to nourish your body, but it nourishes the spirit as well, as you commune with Earth Mother tending to her bountiful vegetation.
Renounce running water
Personal hygiene is over rated. Gaia provides us with all the water we need from natural sources. At the commune, we can identify each other, merely by sense of smell. It’s the way Nature intended.
Travel by foot
Do you really need to go somewhere that is too far away to walk? I live by the credo that if it is too far to walk there, it’s not worth going at all. The most I ever need to travel is out to the woods when Nature calls. Sometimes I’ll even just contribute to the garden by adding a little fertilizer.
Just by taking these few drastic steps to alter your way of life you can have a diminutive effect on our ominous extermination. It’s critical that we adopt these proposals without delay. Life hangs in the balance.
Humor-Blogs.com understands that you can’t hug your children with nuclear arms.
You can minimally increase the amount of time we have by taking drastic measures that will inconvenience our day to day routine which we are so dearly accustomed to. I know that many of you are unconvinced that humans are the cause of this global climate change. But the evidence presented to us in An Inconvenient Truth is undeniable. Our former vice president Al Gore has tried to warn us about our doom and the time to act upon it is now!
How could you truly be so selfish to think that the large reduction in convinence and comfort isn’t worth it? Even when there is a tiny possibility …show more content…
There are some who say that the global warming trend is totally natural.
They say that the Earth warms and cools in a cyclical fashion, going to and fro through periods of warming, then cooling, then warming again. Some say that increased activity of the Sun is responsible.
Don’t believe the propaganda of the Fear Mongers who only wish to profit from scaring you and feeding you platitudes that everything is OK. Don’t believe the doomsday profiteers that just want to use reassurances of security and safety to boost the bottom line for their corporate shareholders. Annihilation is imminent, and none of us will
survive.
So what can we do to have a nominal impact on global warming?
Give up electricity
Technology is not the solution. Technology is the problem. I’m sure that we could all just do fine without heat in the winter, or air conditioning in the summer. On the commune, we simply huddle together to keep warm. When it’s hot, we weave reeds together to make fans, and take turns fanning each other. You will also have no further need for refrigeration when you follow the next suggestion.
Grow a garden
You should be eating fresh, raw, natural foods anyway. Animals are not here to serve us. We are here to serve them (Baked, boiled, broiled, or barbecued. Yum. ~Fiar). Growing a garden not only gives you the food you need to nourish your body, but it nourishes the spirit as well, as you commune with Earth Mother tending to her bountiful vegetation.
Renounce running water
Personal hygiene is over rated. Gaia provides us with all the water we need from natural sources. At the commune, we can identify each other, merely by sense of smell. It’s the way Nature intended.
Travel by foot
Do you really need to go somewhere that is too far away to walk? I live by the credo that if it is too far to walk there, it’s not worth going at all. The most I ever need to travel is out to the woods when Nature calls. Sometimes I’ll even just contribute to the garden by adding a little fertilizer.
Just by taking these few drastic steps to alter your way of life you can have a diminutive effect on our ominous extermination. It’s critical that we adopt these proposals without delay. Life hangs in the balance.
Humor-Blogs.com understands that you can’t hug your children with nuclear arms.