School Satire

Welcome to High School, where we look after your kids! After they walk through the school doors, they will ecstatically be immersed in a long string of senseless invectives from both strangers and friends- just a wonderful way to start off the day! Public schools are often scheduled so that they make sure students are most sleep-deprived and least attentive. This helps students with unlocking their subconscious mind and learning with it. It has been shown that people learn more when their brains are not working.
To start off the tour we will view the hallways of the school. Think of the hallways as a labyrinth of pathways that epitomizes the rich, diversified, public school culture. People battle to their classrooms, pushing and shoving, practicing the art of self-defense.
Oh look! It’s time for lunch. Oh wait nevermind, that clock is not working. Nevertheless, this allows for good analytical ability because you have to know the time without looking at the clock.
During lunch, students gather to taste the delicious, homemade, oops sorry, school manufactured, food. On today’s menu, it looks like there is grease pool pizza, heartwrenching spicy chicken sandwich, and artery-popping tacos.
At a time when parlous pathogens are more than ever wanting to take control over humans, it is necessary to have sanitary bathrooms. This school offers this luxury. With granite-layered walls embellished with elegant language, bathrooms are a student’s paradise and safe-haven in this dangerous world. The random yellow tinting in the bathrooms also adds to the splendor of the truly brilliant artistry. Paper towels are scattered across the floor and puddles of biological secretions are clumped near certain areas. Strategically placed, they teach a person how to avoid obstacles.
In terms of socialization, students tend to be very gregarious in public schools. They learn to condense their language, from difficult vocabulary to “lol” or “what’s up”. This provides for a more