How would you describe Lily's feelings about her mother? Do they change throughout the novel?
Lily loves her mother very much and misses her lot, especially when she can’t sleep. The guilt she feels for her role in Deborah’s death haunts her. Later when Lily learns that her perfect, fantasy mother abandoned her she quickly grows to resent her mother for leaving her with T. Ray. Finally she comes to terms with her real mother, a flawed, complex, very real person. As a result of all these revelations, Lily’s relationship with her deceased mother, Deborah, is very complicated.
When the Secret Life of Bees starts, Lily loves her mother very much and blames herself for her mother’s death. As stated on page 52, “My mother’s name was Deborah. I thought it was the prettiest name I had ever heard…” Lily spends a lot of time thinking about her and fantasizing. She creates a perfect mother in her mind, a mother who would make her pretty and happy. When she finds some of her mother’s gloves in the attic, “I feel foolish about it now, but one time I stuffed the gloves with cotton balls and held them through the night.” (p. 55) Because nobody in her community is willing to talk to her about her mother she is clinging on to whatever part of her she can get, even if it is just a pair or old gloves. The guilt of her mother’s death is also present when she says, “This is what I know about myself. She was all I wanted. And I took her away.” (p. 40) She is overwhelmed with emotions and has no way to effectively deal with them other than let her feelings boil and fester inside of her. This combination of unlimited love and regret reflect how Lily feels for about the first half of the novel.
Later, Lily’s feelings for her mother change drastically when August admits that Deborah abandoned her with her abusive father instead of taking Lily with her to Tiburon. As she puts it, ‘Unwanted’, I thought. ‘I was an unwanted baby’ (p.628),