Selfless Parenting

Selflessness is A Key to Effective Parenting

The way we are raised affects us every single day whether we like it or not. It affects the way we think, speak, react, behave, treat others, treat ourselves etc.; the list goes on. Selflessness is a key point in effective parenting. When it comes to being a parent the person most parents put ahead of themselves are their children. I think that in order to really help your child you cannot be selfish especially when it involves the future of your child’s life. In the stories I’ve read these parents have given up their most prized possessions to ensure the quality of their child’s future. In “The Good Daughter” Hwang states that her parents gave up their culture so she can be as American as possible. Culture is something a lot of people hold near and dear to their heart. It’s a part of their lives, it is all they know. Although Hwangs’ parents gave up everything they knew for her, she felt that they didn’t care about the way she would feel as a Korean-American and that her feelings weren’t thought of. “To ensure that I reaped all the advantages of this country, my parents saw to it that I became full assimilated. To my parents I’m all American, and the sacrifices they made in leaving Korea -including my mispronounced name- pale in comparison to the opportunities those sacrifices gave me.” (Bachman, pg. 9) When my mom was 20 years old she was premed at Southern University and she discovered; only a second week into her classes that she was pregnant. She made a choice. Either she leave me with my grandparents or drop out and get a job. She dropped out. My mother decided early on that I am her most important asset, more important than an education. My mother decided to open her own hair salon; hair, something she hated doing the most. Three kids later my mom finally decided to go back to school for something she loves which is caring for others. She waited until all of us had gotten older and were able to deal without her before she went back to school. My mom is the epitome of a great parent. She is selfless with no holds barred. She doesn’t think of herself first especially when it comes to her children. In the stories you see parents making the ultimate sacrifice for their children. They will do whatever it takes to ensure a great life. Although parents put their children before anything it isn’t always appreciated. In “Breaking Tradition” Mirikitani discusses abandoning her own Japanese tradition so her daughter can find her own womanly place in the world without being told how to do so. Mirikitani’ daughter doesn’t appreciate her mother’s heart aching sacrifices. “My daughter denies she is like me, her secretive eyes avoid mine. I want to break tradition…discover the lies my mother told me.” (Barth, pg. 21) My cousin was raised by her grandparents after her mother gave her to them so she can finish school and focus on herself. My aunt & uncle gladly took her in. She gave them hell from the beginning. Although she went to the best school she rebelled every chance she received. No matter what she did my aunt & uncle still loved her no matter what. Selfless parenting means trying your best whether you like it or not as long as it benefits the child in the long run. Not saying you have to accept whatever is thrown at you but you want to make sure your child felt loved endlessly. Selflessness truly is the key to effective parenting. No matter the hurdle it needs to be jumped to win the race. I truly love my mom for all the sacrifices she made. She is my inspiration. In the end I know I'll will be fine with her by my side helping me along the way. When I decide to have children I hope that I’m half as good as my mother, my aunt & uncle and the parents in this book.