Sexual Socialization Paper

Gender & Culture
Sexual Socialization 3-10-2011

Growing up in a small midwestern town in northern Minnesota I felt secluded from the reality of sex and how it played a role in my life. Appropriate sexual behavior was something that I was being taught by from two different places that are also two agents of socialization. My church and school both had very different views on what was deemed “appropriate sexual behavior” but both clearly explain the purposes of there opinion. My church and religion stated that all sexual acts should be saved until marriage, no questions. On the other hand, my school instilled the idea that sex should wait until marriage but if your going to have sex then use protection. None of these socialization agents really explained what else I can do besides sex or what’s appropriate. I had to fill in the blanks for myself when it came to everything outside of sex.
As I started hitting puberty, I became more fascinated with girls. I was never told what I could or could not do to a girl sexually. I honestly just thought you had sex that was it. I was too young to have sex and I somewhat questioned that. Why do you have to be married to do anything sexual? My attitude
started to become rebellious.
Sex in my family was always hush-hush.
There were never any deep in-depth conversation on sex at all. With the family playing such a big role in my socialization, I found it weird that sex was never thought of or explained to me. The only question my dad or mom ever asked about my sexual behavior was if I’m having intercourse or not. I believe my parents thought was I was smart enough to know what was right and what was wrong when it came to appropriate sexual behavior. My parents always had me busy as a kid and I think that played a big part in how I viewed sex. I never had time to really think about sex because I was playing multiple sports. There was always something to do instead of think about anything sexual or even the opposite
sex.
Bring part of a church congregation and actively involved in the church as our family was in my childhood, I was repeatly bombarded with the” sins of the flesh” and the evil that can follow the life of a “sexual deviant”. Anything sexual was bad, case closed. With the church being so important to my family and me I didn’t question a single thing. I felt like this was how sexual behavior is supposed to be. As I became a teenager, my friends took over as the major socialization agent in my life when it came to sexually activity. I tried to stay stead fast in my idea that sex can wait, but my friends totally changed my attitude completely. They talked about all the other things that you can do besides intercourse. I did not know if what they were telling me was ok to do. I didn’t know if these sexual act were appropriate. I had some many questions but I never asked anyone. I made the unfortunate error of not asking any questions. My sexual socialization was just following what others told me. In the end, My family, religion, and school worked as the biggest agents of my sexual socialization. As I grew as a person, I came to find out that appropriate sexual behavior is viewed differently depending on where you come from and what your beliefs and values are.