Summary Of A Different Kind Of Perfect Writings

While reading A Different Kind of Perfect Writings by Parents on Raising a Child with Special Needs, I was able to read two personal testimonies related to the perception of anger, and how different people cope- or lack thereof. First, I read a writing by Neil Nicoll speaking on the topic of “Different Kind of Perfect”. Here Nicoll started with a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson that goes as follows, “We all boil at different degrees” . (Thomas 43) Additionally, I stayed with the theme of anger and children with special needs, and read a personal testimony by Sherrie Ball, titled “Why Should it Matter?”. In her section she goes into detail of her internal struggle she faces everyday with the involvement of her husband, and her special needs son and the integration of her other children.
Diving in a little further, I began to evaluate what Nicoll was writing.
He first opened up his testimony by introducing the idea of western society and the value of fairness, and justice for the youth. He then goes onto explain how our society has constructed an idea of youth presenting fair qualities to other children as “good parenting” (Thomas 46). He then goes onto give the reader the task of asking a parent of a special needs child if life is fair, and they will undoubtedly reply no. Oftentimes parents of special needs children battle with the idea of terrible parents who abuse and neglect their children being given healthy and well babies, and this feeling never goes away. He then begins to talk about the anger that these parents face on a daily basis. He makes a interesting point when he talks about the displacement of these parents anger. He states that these parents often shift anger from the initial cause of their problem to something that seems less threatening or may be more convenient. (Thomas
47) In addition to Nicolls personal testimony on anger, I also evaluated Ball’s personal testimony on “Why Should it Matter?”. Within her story, she battles with the fact that her husband does not really know what is going on in the house. As she feels like she is drowning in responsibilities and requirements to keep the house a float- he gets to sit back and live in a world where his son's condition is “getting better”. She uses the example of a time where her husband said that he had told someone at work that he no longer gets assistance with feedings, but she states that he gets roughly 75% of his nutrients from the tube throughout the day. While reading her personal testimony, I could not help but think about Nicolls explanation of people's anger, and the way it differs from each person. In Ball’s testimony, she internalizes her anger. And the way she explains her husband, he deals with his anger with denial, and verbal defensive statements. For example, while they were talking about their sons disability he shouts “he's not retarded!”, and then would not listen to what his wife had to say as she was trying to explain what all of the specialist at his appointments had talked about during their visit. (Thomas 52) Cindi Ferrini wrote a personal testimony on feeling isolated after the birth of her special needs child, Joey age 3. She talks about the feeling of being alone. She state that it felt as though it was her and her husband against the world. Not only that, but she speaks on being isolated from her close family because of her sons needs. He did not do well with noise, and would often act up and scream. The family did not know how to handle it, but who does? This was the question her and her husband ask themselves everyday. (Ferrini)