The Red Army: A Short Story

"Comrades! Citizens! Brothers and Sisters of the Glaz Soldat! Men and woman of the Surviving States of the Reformed Soviet Union: welcome, my friends!" Grozny paused to allow time for the tumultous applause to die down from the crowd behind Průhonický Castle. They watched faithfully watched the projected image of their fearless leader with a rabid, drug-induced fervor.

Eleven and Five remained concealed across the pond. They could see the hemispherical veranda atop the stone prominatory jutting over the pond. A group of upper-party members and politcal lackeys gathered around The Spin. The modified-zopetropic mechanism revolved faithfully, transmitting a seamless image to the digital screens on the machine's exterior. The motor at The Spin's center was drowned out by Grozny's booming, charismatic voice.

After taking a drink of vodka from a large tumbler, Fyodor Grozney continued:

"The perfidious military attack against our fatherland by the Capitalistic Pindosi is now twenty years behind us. In spite of the heroic resistance of the Red Army, the enemy continues to thrive. Their global interference continues to thwart our plans for a Glorious Reformation.

How could it have happened that our glorious Red Army surrendered our fatherland to
"That's a pretty bold card for you to play, you traitorous scum. See, it's like the Butter Battle Book. Have you ever read that, Five? No? What a surprise. It's by Dr. Seuss. It was written shortly before The Night the Skies Burned. Or--what do your people call it?--The Second Day of the Scorched Earth. Anyway...it's about the Yooks and the Zooks. They couldn't agree on which side to butter their bread. See, the Yooks eat their bread with the butter-side up. The Zooks eat their bread with the butter-side down. Since they can't agree, they begin a war. The whole thing is about the arms race. Nuclear proliferation and mutually assured