The Theme Of Friendship In Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics

In Aristotle’s book, The Nicomachean Ethics he discusses a variety of subjects that are mostly based upon finding your virtuous and moral character. One of the virtues that really stood out to me was his examination of friendship. Although Aristotle seems to be more interested in distinguishing the various forms that friendships have , his main theme in Books VIII and IX is to show the compatibility of the relationships between virtuous activities and friendship. He breaks down the different types of friendship into three categories: utility, friendship of pleasure, and a virtuous friendship. When two people realizes that the other person has a good character, and spends time with one another, engaging in the same activities that illustrates
their virtues, then that’s when they form one kind of friendship. If they share the same balance of virtues, their friendship is considered to be “perfect”. However, if there appears to be a large hole in their moral development then that's when their relationship most likely will be based on the other person's good character and it will be seen as imperfect due to the inequality that exists in their relationship.

To describe the three types of friendships, the first would be utility. Aristotle explains that a friendship of utility is seen as shallow, “easily dissolved” and/or among for older people. He views them as this because this type of friendship can be easily broken and is really based on something that is brought to the relationship by the other person. Aristotle goes on to describe what he calls as the friendship of pleasure. This type of relationship is normally built between young people as passions and pleasures are becoming great influences in their lives. It quite differs from the friendship of utility in that those who want utility friendships are looking for more like a business deal or a long term benefit, where the friendship of pleasure Aristotle describes is when a person sees something which is pleasant to them openly. The highest form of all the friendships, is friendship of virtue. This friendship is based on a person wishing nothing but the best for their friends regardless of utility or pleasure. Aristotle argues that there are a few of similarities between friendship of virtue and that of utility and pleasure, however; only good people can have such a friendship that ultimately become forever lasing.

Aristotle’s interpretation of imperfect friendships was something that I never thought of before.
He says that all are not unequal relationships that are based on good character but rather they are relationships that are built together because each one sees the other person as a some sort of source of advantage to themselves or some pleasure that they can receive. When Aristotle calls these relationships as “imperfect,” he is focusing on the big accepted assumptions about what makes a relationship good. These friendships can be very defective, and have a smaller chance to be considered as real “friendships,” because the individuals that are involved have little to no type of trust in each other and will eventually break off their friendship immediately. As sad as it is, that’s how most of our friendship in today’s society. I have friends but I can honestly say that out of all those friendships, I can count on only two to be considered as a “perfect” friendship. Although, I disagree with Aristotle on this because I believe that there is no such thing as a perfect friendship because to me a friendship shouldn’t be based upon one's perfection, it should be based upon the loyalty, love, trust and compassion for one another and each one of those qualities has hardships within them which can never be
perfect.

When Aristotle began his discussion of friendship, he introduced a idea that is the most central to his understanding of this saying that we can all agree on which is that a genuine friend is someone who loves or at least likes the other person for the sake of that other person. A person that wants what is good for the sake of another Aristotle calls “good will” and friendship is really found on the reciprocal good will meaning that each recognizes the presence of this type of mentality in one another. The question that Aristotle brings about is that do this good will exists in all three types of friendships or is it mostly confined to the friendships that are based upon virtues? He doesn’t really provide us with an answer but he gives off some possibilities being that is it necessary for friends to have good will for another despite on one’s true intentions of the friendship. He seems to urge that all three kinds of friendships even the ones that were made for the wrong reasons, one another deep down still wishes good for the other.

To Aristotle, friendships that are based upon character are usually the ones where each person is benefited from the other for the sake of that other person and these are the type of friendships that mostly exist out of all. Since each person benefits the other, it can be an advantage to form these kind of friendships and because each person enjoys the trust and companionship that was once built of the other, there is pleasure in these relationships as well. Due to these perfect friendships producing advantages and pleasures for one another, there is some form of line with the common usage where people are calling any relationship that is made for the sake of someone of these goods a friendship has to begin with. Friendships based on advantage and pleasure alone deserves to be called friendships because in real friendships these two qualities, advantage and pleasure, are seen.

Aristotle makes it very clear that the number of people that can sustain the kind of relationship he calls to be a perfect friendship is very small (IX.10) due to the fact that he thinks that this kind of friendship can exist only when you spend a lot of time with the other person, doing things with one another and engaging in the same interests. But why having this closeness of a friendship is necessary for one’s happiness? I came to this conclusion that us humans survive on connections with one another. We were made to interact with one another and develop these types of relationships. For someone to go about their life and not having anyone, is proven for them not to survive that long because we are sociable creatures believe or not. We crave that sense of closeness with someone because it makes us feel good about ourselves and our lives.

Aristotle’s theories in regards to friendship are broken down into self-love, where self-love of utility and self-love of pleasure becomes selfishness, while self-love of virtue is to be viewed as the highest good a person can ever achieve in life.
Because of these three different kinds of love, human beings are shown to be a little political in nature. This can be shown in the first two; love of utility and love of pleasure as Aristotle argues that humans set up relationships for each other’s personal gain. In his defense of self-love makes it very clear that he is not willing to defend the idea that a person can love themselves or above others. He defends self-love only when the emotion is tied to the theory of a person’s good nature, since this is the only way that he can show that self-love is not a “destructive passion”. However, Aristotle takes it for granted that self-love is properly expressed whenever it can be shown to be harmful to others. It is only appreciated when the self-lover is shown to be a good person
overall.

Reading Aristotle’s book of virtues really opened my eyes as far as with friendships. Friendships are seen to be one of the main sources of pure happiness for us but we tend to forget what it means to have a good friendship and to be a good friend. It seems like Aristotle stressed the fact that our virtues is what determines the strength of the friendship. If we are only in it to benefit ourselves than we are considered to be not a virtuous person. We tend to use the word friend so loosely that I believe overtime we started to forget the true meaning of being a friend. Aristotle pointed out the ugly that is within us but at the same time we mean no harm by it. I believe that ability, using people for ourselves is naturally in us. Sometimes we fail to realize that we are using people than there are times when we are fully aware by it. However, I don’t think that makes us evil people, just makes us human.