Thesis On 'Freewrite Or Brainstorm'
NAME: Jonie Michaels . SUBMIT ON WEDNESDAY
STAGE 1: PREWRITING
FREEWRITE OR BRAINSTORM
1. Freewrite or brainstorm about your topic. Use sense words. * Don’t worry about grammar, logic, complete sentences, or grades.
*NOTE: Since you are expanding your Cause and Effect Paragraph, you may want to use your actual paragraph as your freewrite. DO NOT REWRITE IT IF YOU CHOOSE THIS OPTION. Simply leave me a note. For example, “I used my paragraph.”
Being Diagnosed with Diabetes Being diagnosed with diabetes had a tremendous impact on me. When the doctor told me the news, I was horrified. My first thoughts focused on losing a limb or dying young. In addition, the misery of constantly monitoring my blood sugar levels, giving myself frequent injections, and rigidly following a limited diet scared me. Once I became more informed and rational about the challenges I …show more content…
faced, I was angry. I could not understand why I had the bad luck of developing diabetes. I cursed my situation and wallowed in self-pity. Learning to eat healthy foods, to control my bloods sugar, and to avoid infections seemed like punishments I did not deserve. When I finally accepted my situation, I understood that the doctor’s diagnoses had been a gift of life. I woke up each day and knew that I had the tools to control my illness. I realized that the rules about monitoring my blood sugar, controlling my diet, and fighting infections were ways to protect me from pain and serious harm. Once I let go of misery, fear, and anger, I found a new gratitude for being alive. |
FINDING SPECIFIC IDEAS
2. Read your freewrite, underlining all the words, phrases, and sentences of description related to your topic. List ideas here:
I will write an introduction for this paragraph and probably turn my topic sentence into a thesis statement by adding to it a bit. Then, I will use the three main points I made in this paragraph as topic sentences (or topic sentence drafts) for three new paragraphs and add information to each one. Last, I will expand my final statement into a conclusion.
SELECT ONE TOPIC
3. Once you have specific details for your topic, identify the main idea and try to add more details to your topic and remove irrelevant ideas. Write the topic and main points below:
Effects diabetes had on my life—three stages: horror, anger, acceptance.
NAME: Jonie Michaels . SUBMIT ON WEDNESDAY
FOCUSING THE PREWRITING: CLUSTERING or LISTING
4. List everything you underlined, grouping related ideas. Also decide on a logical ORDER for presenting present your details. * You might want to put descriptions in order using one of the following orders: * time order (first to last) * space order (top to bottom, or left to right) * emphatic order (i.e., most important to least important or vice versa.)
Effect 1: horror | Effect 2: anger | Effect 3: acceptance | * Losing a limb * Dying young * Single parent * Worried about kids * Monitoring blood sugar levels * Injections * Rigid diet * Just 32-years-old | * Bad luck * Wasn’t eating well * Broke * Ate cheap, quick food * Wallowed in self-pity * Guilt for putting kids at risk from bad food * Felt like punishment | * Finally realized that diagnosis was gift so I could change * Got handouts /informational brochures * Had tools now * Rules were for protection * The ball was in my court now |
IDENTIFY THE DOMINANT IMPRESSION 5. After you’re surveyed the list, write a sentence about the dominant impression of the details. *NOTE: Many writers may want to expand their paragraph’s topic sentence into a thesis statement. Being diagnosed with diabetes had a tremendous impact on me, leading me through three stages: horror, anger, and finally acceptance .
NAME: Jonie Michaels . SUBMIT ON WEDNESDAY
OUTLINE 6. Turning your paragraph topic sentence into a thesis statement for your introduction, your three main points into three body paragraphs, and your final statement into a topic sentence for your conclusion, write an outline, using COMPLETE SENTENCES.
What is my subject? The effect of diabetes in my life .
Who is my audience? Instructor, classmates, anyone who has or who is concerned about diabetes..
What is my purpose? To explain and analyze the three main effects my diabetes diagnoses had on me in stages.
What is my MAIN verb tense? Past Present Future
What is my logical order? time order space order emphatic
order
INTRODUCTION | * Diabetes is a disease caused by high blood glucose levels in the body. * This is caused by the body’s inability to create and/or use its own insulin, a hormone that turns the food into energy or glucose. * A person with diabetes must manage his or her blood glucose levels which often require daily injections. Thesis Statement: Being diagnosed with diabetes had a tremendous impact on me, leading me through three stages: horror, anger, and finally acceptance. | CAUSE OR EFFECT 1 | Topic Sentence: When the doctor diagnosed me, I was horrified. My first thoughts focused on losing a limb or dying young.Body: * At the time, I was working and, by myself, raising two children who were 5 and 7, so I worried about what I would do if either of these things happened. * Who would care for my children if something went wrong? * In addition, the misery of constantly monitoring my blood sugar levels, giving myself frequent injections, and rigidly following a limited diet scared me. Final Statement: Although I had known people with diabetes, I never thought it could happen to me, especially at such a young age. I was just thirty-two. |
NAME: Jonie Michaels . SUBMIT ON WEDNESDAY CAUSE OR EFFECT 2 | Topic Sentence: Once I became more informed and rational about the challenges I faced, I was angry.Body: * I could not understand why I had the bad luck of developing diabetes although I did have to acknowledge that I wasn’t eating the best foods. * Being a single provider, I relied upon canned goods which were cheap and quick to prepare. * We ate a lot of potted meats, soups, and starches, but not many fresh vegetables. * I cursed my situation and wallowed in self-pity. * I also felt guilty when I realized I could be putting my children at risk for future diabetes. Final Statement: Learning to eat healthy foods, to control my bloods sugar, and to avoid infections seemed like punishments I did not deserve and could not afford. | CAUSE OR EFFECT 3 | Topic Sentence: When I finally accepted my situation, I understood that the doctor’s diagnoses had been a gift of life.Body: * With lots of helpful handouts describing ways to manage my disease, I woke up each day and knew that I had the tools to control my illness. * I also used the internet at work to look up affordable and healthy recipes. * Eventually, I realized that the rules about monitoring my blood sugar, controlling my diet, and fighting infections were ways to protect me from pain and serious harm. Final Statement: The tools were available…I just had to reach out and grab them. | CONCLUSION | * Once I let go of misery, fear, and anger, I found a new gratitude for being alive. * I tried to use this disease as an educational tool for my children and taught them the importance of eating healthier foods. * I also took this sensitive transitional time to really look at myself and appreciate how strong of a person I truly am. * If I could tackle diabetes, in addition to my day-to-day responsibilities, and learn to find good in all of it, I knew that I was, and am, a strong woman. |
NAME: Jonie Michaels . SUBMIT ON WEDNESDAY
ROUGH DRAFT - THREE QUESTIONS FOR READERS
DIRECTIONS: Please ask readers three questions that YOU have about your essay’s form or content. Ask your reader to answer your questions on the back of your actual essay (so you can turn this sheet in).
1) I have been working on fragments. Did I catch them all?
2) I was trying to show how my diagnosis helped me develop as a person over time. Does my essay do this or does it just sound like I was feeling sorry for myself?
3) Does the information about raising two children alone help the essay or does it add too much information?
STAGE 1: PREWRITING
FREEWRITE OR BRAINSTORM
1. Freewrite or brainstorm about your topic. Use sense words. * Don’t worry about grammar, logic, complete sentences, or grades.
*NOTE: Since you are expanding your Cause and Effect Paragraph, you may want to use your actual paragraph as your freewrite. DO NOT REWRITE IT IF YOU CHOOSE THIS OPTION. Simply leave me a note. For example, “I used my paragraph.”
Being Diagnosed with Diabetes Being diagnosed with diabetes had a tremendous impact on me. When the doctor told me the news, I was horrified. My first thoughts focused on losing a limb or dying young. In addition, the misery of constantly monitoring my blood sugar levels, giving myself frequent injections, and rigidly following a limited diet scared me. Once I became more informed and rational about the challenges I …show more content…
faced, I was angry. I could not understand why I had the bad luck of developing diabetes. I cursed my situation and wallowed in self-pity. Learning to eat healthy foods, to control my bloods sugar, and to avoid infections seemed like punishments I did not deserve. When I finally accepted my situation, I understood that the doctor’s diagnoses had been a gift of life. I woke up each day and knew that I had the tools to control my illness. I realized that the rules about monitoring my blood sugar, controlling my diet, and fighting infections were ways to protect me from pain and serious harm. Once I let go of misery, fear, and anger, I found a new gratitude for being alive. |
FINDING SPECIFIC IDEAS
2. Read your freewrite, underlining all the words, phrases, and sentences of description related to your topic. List ideas here:
I will write an introduction for this paragraph and probably turn my topic sentence into a thesis statement by adding to it a bit. Then, I will use the three main points I made in this paragraph as topic sentences (or topic sentence drafts) for three new paragraphs and add information to each one. Last, I will expand my final statement into a conclusion.
SELECT ONE TOPIC
3. Once you have specific details for your topic, identify the main idea and try to add more details to your topic and remove irrelevant ideas. Write the topic and main points below:
Effects diabetes had on my life—three stages: horror, anger, acceptance.
NAME: Jonie Michaels . SUBMIT ON WEDNESDAY
FOCUSING THE PREWRITING: CLUSTERING or LISTING
4. List everything you underlined, grouping related ideas. Also decide on a logical ORDER for presenting present your details. * You might want to put descriptions in order using one of the following orders: * time order (first to last) * space order (top to bottom, or left to right) * emphatic order (i.e., most important to least important or vice versa.)
Effect 1: horror | Effect 2: anger | Effect 3: acceptance | * Losing a limb * Dying young * Single parent * Worried about kids * Monitoring blood sugar levels * Injections * Rigid diet * Just 32-years-old | * Bad luck * Wasn’t eating well * Broke * Ate cheap, quick food * Wallowed in self-pity * Guilt for putting kids at risk from bad food * Felt like punishment | * Finally realized that diagnosis was gift so I could change * Got handouts /informational brochures * Had tools now * Rules were for protection * The ball was in my court now |
IDENTIFY THE DOMINANT IMPRESSION 5. After you’re surveyed the list, write a sentence about the dominant impression of the details. *NOTE: Many writers may want to expand their paragraph’s topic sentence into a thesis statement. Being diagnosed with diabetes had a tremendous impact on me, leading me through three stages: horror, anger, and finally acceptance .
NAME: Jonie Michaels . SUBMIT ON WEDNESDAY
OUTLINE 6. Turning your paragraph topic sentence into a thesis statement for your introduction, your three main points into three body paragraphs, and your final statement into a topic sentence for your conclusion, write an outline, using COMPLETE SENTENCES.
What is my subject? The effect of diabetes in my life .
Who is my audience? Instructor, classmates, anyone who has or who is concerned about diabetes..
What is my purpose? To explain and analyze the three main effects my diabetes diagnoses had on me in stages.
What is my MAIN verb tense? Past Present Future
What is my logical order? time order space order emphatic
order
INTRODUCTION | * Diabetes is a disease caused by high blood glucose levels in the body. * This is caused by the body’s inability to create and/or use its own insulin, a hormone that turns the food into energy or glucose. * A person with diabetes must manage his or her blood glucose levels which often require daily injections. Thesis Statement: Being diagnosed with diabetes had a tremendous impact on me, leading me through three stages: horror, anger, and finally acceptance. | CAUSE OR EFFECT 1 | Topic Sentence: When the doctor diagnosed me, I was horrified. My first thoughts focused on losing a limb or dying young.Body: * At the time, I was working and, by myself, raising two children who were 5 and 7, so I worried about what I would do if either of these things happened. * Who would care for my children if something went wrong? * In addition, the misery of constantly monitoring my blood sugar levels, giving myself frequent injections, and rigidly following a limited diet scared me. Final Statement: Although I had known people with diabetes, I never thought it could happen to me, especially at such a young age. I was just thirty-two. |
NAME: Jonie Michaels . SUBMIT ON WEDNESDAY CAUSE OR EFFECT 2 | Topic Sentence: Once I became more informed and rational about the challenges I faced, I was angry.Body: * I could not understand why I had the bad luck of developing diabetes although I did have to acknowledge that I wasn’t eating the best foods. * Being a single provider, I relied upon canned goods which were cheap and quick to prepare. * We ate a lot of potted meats, soups, and starches, but not many fresh vegetables. * I cursed my situation and wallowed in self-pity. * I also felt guilty when I realized I could be putting my children at risk for future diabetes. Final Statement: Learning to eat healthy foods, to control my bloods sugar, and to avoid infections seemed like punishments I did not deserve and could not afford. | CAUSE OR EFFECT 3 | Topic Sentence: When I finally accepted my situation, I understood that the doctor’s diagnoses had been a gift of life.Body: * With lots of helpful handouts describing ways to manage my disease, I woke up each day and knew that I had the tools to control my illness. * I also used the internet at work to look up affordable and healthy recipes. * Eventually, I realized that the rules about monitoring my blood sugar, controlling my diet, and fighting infections were ways to protect me from pain and serious harm. Final Statement: The tools were available…I just had to reach out and grab them. | CONCLUSION | * Once I let go of misery, fear, and anger, I found a new gratitude for being alive. * I tried to use this disease as an educational tool for my children and taught them the importance of eating healthier foods. * I also took this sensitive transitional time to really look at myself and appreciate how strong of a person I truly am. * If I could tackle diabetes, in addition to my day-to-day responsibilities, and learn to find good in all of it, I knew that I was, and am, a strong woman. |
NAME: Jonie Michaels . SUBMIT ON WEDNESDAY
ROUGH DRAFT - THREE QUESTIONS FOR READERS
DIRECTIONS: Please ask readers three questions that YOU have about your essay’s form or content. Ask your reader to answer your questions on the back of your actual essay (so you can turn this sheet in).
1) I have been working on fragments. Did I catch them all?
2) I was trying to show how my diagnosis helped me develop as a person over time. Does my essay do this or does it just sound like I was feeling sorry for myself?
3) Does the information about raising two children alone help the essay or does it add too much information?