Two Kinds By Amy Tan Essay

In Two Kinds, Amy Tan tells the story of Jing-mei, who as a child was given the song “Pleading Child” to practice. This song describes who she was as a child, desperate to stay the way she is, and pleading with her mother to love her the way she is, not the way she wants her to be. “Perfectly Contented,” paints a different picture one that is viewed looking back by someone who has more experience. This song is longer because it takes more time to learn how to be perfectly content with one’s life. In the story, Amy Tan writes, “After I played them both a few times, I realized they were two halves of the same song (p.552).” She cannot be one without the other she is both the pleading child and perfectly content, without them both she is not her true self. In this story, Amy Tan portrays how the expectations of Jing-mei’s mother affect her sense of self. How one’s self-image can change whether they are basing it on other people’s opinion of them, a rigid …, and a flowing view of themselves that changes with time. In the beginning of the story, Jing-mei based her sense of self and self-worth on her mother’s expectations. She pushed herself to succeed so her mother would be proud of her. She built up the idea in her head that her mother wanted her to be the
perfect daughter (p.544). Her mother would praise her if she had a talent, but with every failed attempt she was met with her mother’s disappointment. She began as many children do to associate her mother’s love with her actions. Since she was continuously “failing” her mother, she started to view her self-worth as lower than before. What she was basing her sense of self on was a failure, and that would mean that she was a failure. Without the encouragement of her mother for trying, she began degrading herself until she started to lash out on her mother for “trying to change her into something she was not.” After her testing had finished, she based her self-image in who she was now and no one could change her. Her mother’s expectations were now just a reminder of the fact she viewed herself as a failure. Her piano recital was just a way for her mother feel the same way she had felt, “And right then, I was determined to put a stop to her foolish pride (p.548).” Her mother’s expectations were most likely rooted in love for her daughter, since she wanted her to succeed and be the best version of herself. Even the best of intentions can lead to the hurt of others. If someone does not have a solid self-image than the view and opinions of other’s can have an enormous effect on how they view themselves and the world around them. This can also lead to the hardening of hearts to helpful criticism. As an adult, Jing-mei now has a free flowing view of herself that she will fail sometimes but that is fine.
She even viewed this as a privilege, “In the years that followed, I failed her so many times, each time asserting my own will, my right to fall short of expectations. I didn’t get straight As. I didn’t become class president. I didn’t get into Stanford. I dropped out of college (p.550).” A strong sense of self can lead to contentment in life. She did not need to fill other people’s expectations for her, since she was fulfilling her own expectations. In the end, her mother’s expectations were separate from who she was and she could see them as they were her mother pushing her to be the best she could
be. Jing-mei’s self-image changed completely from childhood to adulthood as many people do, she went from her whole self-image being based on her mother’s expectations to a self-image undefined by what other people thought she should do with her life. As an adult the piano is a memory of her mother not a … of her failure. Amy Tan demonstrated how the unfulfilled expectations of parent’s can lead to a low self-image, depending on how they base their sense of self.