Virginity In The Bell Jar
Usually, the word family connotes positive associations: comfort, safety, unconditional love, unwavering support, unshakeable stability—the list goes on. The people a family consists of are each other’s emotional bedrock, and interdependence comes naturally. As such, many cultures and societies maintain that family relationships are ideally the most influential and meaningful relationships a person can have. However, this is not an ideal world; this is not the case for all people. Certainly, this is not the case for Esther Greenwood. Though a variety of factors cause Esther’s depression and suicidal spiral, one primary and deeply affective determinant is her familial relationships—and lack thereof. In Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar, Esther Greenwood’s inadequate, negative familial relationships cause the emotional underdevelopment that engenders her depreciating mental health; Esther’s emotional maturity, mental health, and personal growth improve only through
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Doctor Nolan’s guidance, demonstrating that family is fallible and that seeking relationships outside that sphere of influence is warranted, healthy, and oftentimes very necessary.
The death of Mr. Greenwood is the first crack in the foundation of Esther’s emotional maturity and mental well-being as his death robs her of a father figure during her formative years, and the way Esther’s mother handles his death denies Esther the opportunity for closure. The loss of a father figure at a young age leaves Esther ignorant as to what to expect from men and how to interact with them. Furthermore, the lack of a father figure causes Esther to suffer from severe self-esteem issues and ignorance of how to connect intimately—platonically or romantically—with someone of the opposite gender. While all of Esther’s relationships with men in The Bell Jar illustrate her emotional immaturity and inexperience, her relationship with Buddy Willard demonstrates this most prominently. As Esther reveals the milestones of her relationship with Buddy throughout the novel, it becomes apparent in her retrospection that she progressed from painful naiveté to harsh disillusionment: “I decided to expect nothing from Buddy Willard. If you expect nothing from somebody you are never disappointed” (Plath 67). Esther’s disappointments stem from the void that her father would have filled by teaching her the dynamics of a platonic male-female relationship. This harsh learning experience sets the tone for the rest of Esther’s relationships with men, providing the reason for her unhappiness, dissatisfaction, and detachment. These failed romantic relationships only substantiate Esther’s deteriorating mental health.
Esther’s emotional deprivation does not stop there. Since Esther’s mother does not allow her to attend her father’s funeral, “[Mr. Greenwood’s] death had always seemed unreal to [her],” the gap created by the loss of Esther’s father creates goes unnoticed and untreated (Plath 193). Esther’s mother does not grieve outwardly, leaving Esther without a model to show her how to grieve properly (196). As a result, Esther does not grieve; she does not cry. This is a dire mistake, as with all wounds that are not properly treated, the wound her father’s death creates festers over time, manifesting in mental instability and emotional underdevelopment.
This is only the beginning of Mrs. Greenwood’s shortcomings; throughout The Bell Jar, it is apparent that Esther’s relationship with her mother only further exacerbates Esther’s emotional underdevelopment and mental instability, as Esther cannot relate to her mother at all and Esther’s mother does not understand Esther’s needs. What creates the biggest chasm between Esther and her mother is the fact that Mrs. Greenwood represents the traditional gender norms that Esther abhors: a woman who is primarily wife and mother. For Esther, a husband and baby do not coincide with her ambitions, as she believes that “if [she] had to wait on a baby all day, [she] would go mad” (Plath 261). Domesticity is a shackle to Esther, as Esther has many dreams, many figs of opportunity in mind. Even Mrs. Greenwood’s idea of a professional career is one that Esther finds contemptuous: secretarial work transcribing letters. Esther finds the very idea of being subservient to men repugnant, as she values her freedom. Instead, Esther aspires to be a “famous poet,” a “brilliant professor,” an “amazing editor”; she longs to travel the world (87). She wants to “dictate [her] own thrilling letters” (85). It is very clear that Mrs. Greenwood and Esther are two very different women with completely divergent ideals. Because of this divergence, Esther feels like she cannot seek solace or understanding from her mother; Esther will not find any career advice or unconditional, nonjudgmental support from Mrs. Greenwood. This widens the rift between the two women. Furthermore, Esther’s mother believes Esther’s depression and suicidal thoughts are things Esther can banish at will. After Esther decides to end her shock treatment with Doctor Gordon, a relieved Mrs. Greenwood tells her, “I knew you’d decide to be all right again”—as if Esther has any control over her depression, as if a person can just decide to “get better” and immediately be better (169). This displays not only ignorance about mental illness, but a lack of conscientiousness towards Esther’s feelings. This assumption portrays Esther as a person who deliberately chooses to be mentally ill, to feel numbness, pain, despair, and dissatisfaction with life when this is decidedly not the case. Depression and suicide are not romantic aspirations. Worse, when Mrs. Greenwood visits Esther in the psychiatric hospital, Mrs. Greenwood makes the visit about herself, asking Esther what she did wrong in raising Esther instead of being understanding about her daughter’s plight (238). Ultimately, Esther’s familial relationships illustrate how though family is oftentimes looked to as integral for the healthy mental development of an individual, Esther’s familial relationships indicate the opposite: they cause the downtrend of Esther’s emotional and mental well-being.
However, Doctor Nolan impedes this downtrend with her positive influence as a surrogate mother figure, emotionally supporting Esther so she can begin to regain her footing and find her way back to the path of mental and emotional wellness. Though Esther is wary of Nolan at first, from their first meeting, Nolan has a positive impact on Esther, as she is the first to ask her how she truly feels about anything: “Tell me about Doctor Gordon … Did you like him?” (Plath 221). In doing so, she validates Esther’s feelings in a way no one else has done throughout the novel. This is monumental in importance, as validation—recognition that an individual’s thoughts, actions, and feelings exist and matter—is imperative to healthy emotional development. Esther’s validation is doubly important because Esther’s mother has deprived her of this validation, which is another reason Esther is emotionally stunted. That said, Doctor Nolan’s validation is a crucial step towards Esther’s recovery because Esther begins to trust Doctor Nolan, a healthy emotion Esther has not felt in the entirety of The Bell Jar; in this way, Esther beings to gain a sense of security. This security is something Esther is not able to find anywhere—not in New York with her friends, not with Buddy Willard, and not even her home, with her family.
Doctor Nolan continues to be an instrumentally positive influence on Esther, particularly in the steps she takes to assuage Esther’s fear of shock treatments. Before Esther’s first shock treatment at the psychiatric hospital since Doctor Gordon, Nolan assures Esther, saying, “Listen, Esther … I’m going over with you. I’ll be there the whole time, so everything will happen right, the way I promised. I’ll be there when you wake up, and I’ll bring you back again” (Plath 249). In promising Esther this, Doctor Nolan not only guarantees Esther physical support during the shock treatments, but emotional support as well. This moment also marks when Doctor Nolan crosses the threshold of doctor to mother figure. When Nolan puts her arm around Esther and “[hugs] her like a mother,” she offers Esther a comfort that Esther’s own mother never provided (249). The construction of Esther and Doctor Nolan’s relationship allows Esther to begin to fill the void the inadequacy of her family relationships created.
Doctor Nolan further aids Esther by fulfilling the role of imparter of feminine knowledge, dispelling Esther’s fears about sex and paving the path for Esther’s personal growth.
Throughout The Bell Jar, the concept of virginity—her virginity—cripples Esther: while Esther wants to have sex because she believe losing her virginity will be a transformative, liberating experience, she is afraid of getting pregnant. Esther is caught between being able to act freely and being rightfully afraid of the consequences of these free actions. In this way, Doctor Nolan is Esther’s vehicle of empowerment. By directing Esther to the doctor who provides her with contraception, Nolan unshackles Esther from her preoccupation with her virginity and gives her sexual—and ultimately emotional and mental—agency. Without Nolan, Esther would most likely still be lost in the maze of her own depression and her own underdevelopment, as Nolan fulfilled so many components essential for Esther’s personal growth and mental and emotional
health.
Ideally, family consists of people who allow an individual to feel safe and secure in his or her own vulnerability; ideally, family consists of people who provide unconditional and unfailing support and positive influence. In The Bell Jar, this is not at all the reality for Esther. Ironically, home is where Esther loses the last vestiges of her composure, where she descends completely into her depression. Ironically, her family is one of the main causes of her emotional underdevelopment and mental instability; the effects of Esther’s family on her psyche are something Esther must overcome in order to progress towards mental and emotion wellness. But through the active influence of Doctor Nolan, Esther’s mental and emotional well-being no longer relies solely upon the negative impact of her familial relationships, proving that progress and growth is possible if sought from the right people.
Doctor Nolan’s guidance, demonstrating that family is fallible and that seeking relationships outside that sphere of influence is warranted, healthy, and oftentimes very necessary.
The death of Mr. Greenwood is the first crack in the foundation of Esther’s emotional maturity and mental well-being as his death robs her of a father figure during her formative years, and the way Esther’s mother handles his death denies Esther the opportunity for closure. The loss of a father figure at a young age leaves Esther ignorant as to what to expect from men and how to interact with them. Furthermore, the lack of a father figure causes Esther to suffer from severe self-esteem issues and ignorance of how to connect intimately—platonically or romantically—with someone of the opposite gender. While all of Esther’s relationships with men in The Bell Jar illustrate her emotional immaturity and inexperience, her relationship with Buddy Willard demonstrates this most prominently. As Esther reveals the milestones of her relationship with Buddy throughout the novel, it becomes apparent in her retrospection that she progressed from painful naiveté to harsh disillusionment: “I decided to expect nothing from Buddy Willard. If you expect nothing from somebody you are never disappointed” (Plath 67). Esther’s disappointments stem from the void that her father would have filled by teaching her the dynamics of a platonic male-female relationship. This harsh learning experience sets the tone for the rest of Esther’s relationships with men, providing the reason for her unhappiness, dissatisfaction, and detachment. These failed romantic relationships only substantiate Esther’s deteriorating mental health.
Esther’s emotional deprivation does not stop there. Since Esther’s mother does not allow her to attend her father’s funeral, “[Mr. Greenwood’s] death had always seemed unreal to [her],” the gap created by the loss of Esther’s father creates goes unnoticed and untreated (Plath 193). Esther’s mother does not grieve outwardly, leaving Esther without a model to show her how to grieve properly (196). As a result, Esther does not grieve; she does not cry. This is a dire mistake, as with all wounds that are not properly treated, the wound her father’s death creates festers over time, manifesting in mental instability and emotional underdevelopment.
This is only the beginning of Mrs. Greenwood’s shortcomings; throughout The Bell Jar, it is apparent that Esther’s relationship with her mother only further exacerbates Esther’s emotional underdevelopment and mental instability, as Esther cannot relate to her mother at all and Esther’s mother does not understand Esther’s needs. What creates the biggest chasm between Esther and her mother is the fact that Mrs. Greenwood represents the traditional gender norms that Esther abhors: a woman who is primarily wife and mother. For Esther, a husband and baby do not coincide with her ambitions, as she believes that “if [she] had to wait on a baby all day, [she] would go mad” (Plath 261). Domesticity is a shackle to Esther, as Esther has many dreams, many figs of opportunity in mind. Even Mrs. Greenwood’s idea of a professional career is one that Esther finds contemptuous: secretarial work transcribing letters. Esther finds the very idea of being subservient to men repugnant, as she values her freedom. Instead, Esther aspires to be a “famous poet,” a “brilliant professor,” an “amazing editor”; she longs to travel the world (87). She wants to “dictate [her] own thrilling letters” (85). It is very clear that Mrs. Greenwood and Esther are two very different women with completely divergent ideals. Because of this divergence, Esther feels like she cannot seek solace or understanding from her mother; Esther will not find any career advice or unconditional, nonjudgmental support from Mrs. Greenwood. This widens the rift between the two women. Furthermore, Esther’s mother believes Esther’s depression and suicidal thoughts are things Esther can banish at will. After Esther decides to end her shock treatment with Doctor Gordon, a relieved Mrs. Greenwood tells her, “I knew you’d decide to be all right again”—as if Esther has any control over her depression, as if a person can just decide to “get better” and immediately be better (169). This displays not only ignorance about mental illness, but a lack of conscientiousness towards Esther’s feelings. This assumption portrays Esther as a person who deliberately chooses to be mentally ill, to feel numbness, pain, despair, and dissatisfaction with life when this is decidedly not the case. Depression and suicide are not romantic aspirations. Worse, when Mrs. Greenwood visits Esther in the psychiatric hospital, Mrs. Greenwood makes the visit about herself, asking Esther what she did wrong in raising Esther instead of being understanding about her daughter’s plight (238). Ultimately, Esther’s familial relationships illustrate how though family is oftentimes looked to as integral for the healthy mental development of an individual, Esther’s familial relationships indicate the opposite: they cause the downtrend of Esther’s emotional and mental well-being.
However, Doctor Nolan impedes this downtrend with her positive influence as a surrogate mother figure, emotionally supporting Esther so she can begin to regain her footing and find her way back to the path of mental and emotional wellness. Though Esther is wary of Nolan at first, from their first meeting, Nolan has a positive impact on Esther, as she is the first to ask her how she truly feels about anything: “Tell me about Doctor Gordon … Did you like him?” (Plath 221). In doing so, she validates Esther’s feelings in a way no one else has done throughout the novel. This is monumental in importance, as validation—recognition that an individual’s thoughts, actions, and feelings exist and matter—is imperative to healthy emotional development. Esther’s validation is doubly important because Esther’s mother has deprived her of this validation, which is another reason Esther is emotionally stunted. That said, Doctor Nolan’s validation is a crucial step towards Esther’s recovery because Esther begins to trust Doctor Nolan, a healthy emotion Esther has not felt in the entirety of The Bell Jar; in this way, Esther beings to gain a sense of security. This security is something Esther is not able to find anywhere—not in New York with her friends, not with Buddy Willard, and not even her home, with her family.
Doctor Nolan continues to be an instrumentally positive influence on Esther, particularly in the steps she takes to assuage Esther’s fear of shock treatments. Before Esther’s first shock treatment at the psychiatric hospital since Doctor Gordon, Nolan assures Esther, saying, “Listen, Esther … I’m going over with you. I’ll be there the whole time, so everything will happen right, the way I promised. I’ll be there when you wake up, and I’ll bring you back again” (Plath 249). In promising Esther this, Doctor Nolan not only guarantees Esther physical support during the shock treatments, but emotional support as well. This moment also marks when Doctor Nolan crosses the threshold of doctor to mother figure. When Nolan puts her arm around Esther and “[hugs] her like a mother,” she offers Esther a comfort that Esther’s own mother never provided (249). The construction of Esther and Doctor Nolan’s relationship allows Esther to begin to fill the void the inadequacy of her family relationships created.
Doctor Nolan further aids Esther by fulfilling the role of imparter of feminine knowledge, dispelling Esther’s fears about sex and paving the path for Esther’s personal growth.
Throughout The Bell Jar, the concept of virginity—her virginity—cripples Esther: while Esther wants to have sex because she believe losing her virginity will be a transformative, liberating experience, she is afraid of getting pregnant. Esther is caught between being able to act freely and being rightfully afraid of the consequences of these free actions. In this way, Doctor Nolan is Esther’s vehicle of empowerment. By directing Esther to the doctor who provides her with contraception, Nolan unshackles Esther from her preoccupation with her virginity and gives her sexual—and ultimately emotional and mental—agency. Without Nolan, Esther would most likely still be lost in the maze of her own depression and her own underdevelopment, as Nolan fulfilled so many components essential for Esther’s personal growth and mental and emotional
health.
Ideally, family consists of people who allow an individual to feel safe and secure in his or her own vulnerability; ideally, family consists of people who provide unconditional and unfailing support and positive influence. In The Bell Jar, this is not at all the reality for Esther. Ironically, home is where Esther loses the last vestiges of her composure, where she descends completely into her depression. Ironically, her family is one of the main causes of her emotional underdevelopment and mental instability; the effects of Esther’s family on her psyche are something Esther must overcome in order to progress towards mental and emotion wellness. But through the active influence of Doctor Nolan, Esther’s mental and emotional well-being no longer relies solely upon the negative impact of her familial relationships, proving that progress and growth is possible if sought from the right people.