What Is Aby's Dysfunctional Family Case Study
Running head: ABY’S CASE STUDY ILLUSTRATION
Aby’s Dysfunctional Family Case Study from Generation to Generation
Ade2014
Argosy University, Dallas
Aby’s Dysfunctional Family Case Study
Aby is a 32-year old- female of African origin, born in London, England to Jo and Nicky. Aby’s parents, Jo and Nicky migrated to England from Africa in 1974 to further their studies as a young couple. A year into their studies and new adjusted lives, Nicky became ecstatic when she discovered she was pregnant with their first child. On getting home from her evening class, she informed Jo of the good news. He was happy and looked forward to being a dad for the very first time. Few months …show more content…
into the pregnancy, Nicky was becoming immensely tired and that prevented her from carrying out some of her duties as an African wife. Jo noticed that the boundaries set within the family system were being compromised, and as the head of the family, he was not going to allow that to continue, but he exercised patience until Aby was born on July 4, 1975.
After the birth of Aby, one would think their nuclear family was intact and at peace. No, instead, this marked the beginning of the dysfunction in the family as Jo disengaged from his wife. Nevertheless, Jo loved Aby as the first fruit of the family and spent considerable amount of quality time with her. Nicky, on the other hand, noticed Jo’s attitude towards her and realized that while she was pregnant with Aby, she somehow neglected her duty as a wife. She apologized and promised to perform her roles effectively, and Jo pardoned her. As a result, the homeostasis was intact again and all the broken parts mended as they achieved wholeness as a family.
In 1977, Jo and Nicky had identical twins, Peter and Paul. During the second pregnancy, Nicky performed her duties as she had assured Jo, but with intense hatred. Nicky formed a closed system by operating without Jo, and he did not sense the wall erected by Nicky. Nicky felt she was cohabitating with Jo as the passion of love was gradually diminishing. When the twins and Aby were five and seven years old respectively, Nicky informed Jo of her true feelings that she was emotionally cutoff and needed some space to recuperate. Nicky initially took two weeks off to spend time with her best friend in Manchester, a city outside of London, leaving the children with Jo. Jo demonstrated some ego tactics claiming to be the man of the house. He neither pleaded with Nicky nor apologized for his wrong attitudes carried out while Nicky was pregnant. He summoned courage and sought assistance from his extended family, his favorite aunt Rose, who helped care for the children for those two weeks.
Nicky confided in her best friend, Sharon, what she encountered with Jo while she was pregnant. Sharon, happily married for twelve years, advised Nicky that families were bound to have conflicts, which can be resolved amicably. Sharon helped reframe Jo’s attitudes during her pregnancy, but Nicky failed to see the new perspective of things. Nicky was not negentropic as she was not flexible in receiving Sharon’s new input that would have toned down the dysfunction in the family. Nicky’s overall solution to Jo’s so called ‘selfishness’ was divorce. On Nicky’s return home, she spoke to Aby and the twins, Peter and Paul, and apologized for taking off suddenly without explaining to them. The twins were too young to understand the whole concept and hugged their mum, and went off to play. However, Aby was furious with Nicky as she felt abandoned and rejected. This in turn, marked the beginning of feedback loops between Aby and her mother, Nicky. Aby was reprimanded for talking back and her mother demanded respect at once. Aby concluded in her mind that her mother had lost her role as a mother since the day she walked out on them, and Jo, her father, was all that mattered in her life.
Once Nicky was done speaking with Aby, she went to the room to speak with Jo. She informed Jo that she was leaving him as she was fed up of the rigid family rules, and that she needed freedom from such a life full of power struggles. Jo was astonished and said Nicky has no right to leave, especially for the sake of the children. Both Nicky and Jo punctuate continuously until about eleven p.m. when it was time for bed. Nicky unable to bear the sight of Jo, slept in the visitor’s room that night. Aby, on the other hand, knew what had transpired between her dad and mum as she saw her mum walk into the visitor’s room with beddings when she emerged from the rest room.
The next day, Nicky explained to the children, after Jo had gone to work, that she and their dad were getting a divorce due to irreconcilable differences. The twins asked why and needed to understand the reason why their mum would want to leave them. Nicky explained that things were not working out between her and their dad, and that when they were old enough they would understand better. Aby, meanwhile was emotionally drained and did not say a word. She was also very tired from last night’s crying and all she could think of was her dad, in her own words, “My poor dad.” What an alliance between a seven year old and her dad.
At about six p.m., Jo returned from work, and the twins ran up to him and said “Mum is leaving us; we are not going to see her again.” Jo assured them that it was only a temporary decision and that their mum would be back before they knew it, but the relabeling did not have any impact whatsoever. By eight pm after the children had gone to bed, Nicky packed her belongings and left the house without saying goodbye to the children, and Jo was paralyzed in his action to prevent Nicky from leaving. Aby however, saw her mum leaving from the corner of her room and as a result, wept till she had no strength to weep any longer. Thereafter, she vowed never to talk to her mother again, and that she was going to take care of her brothers and father. Also, that marked the end of her frequent altercations with her mother as she had emotionally cutoff her mum permanently.
When Aby celebrated her 13th birthday, she hoped her mother would show up, which would have been a good surprise, but Nicky did not. Suddenly, she remembered that her grandmother divorced her grandfather at 40 years old. She began to panic and thought the same pattern might repeat itself when she got married. Aby informed Jo, her dad, of her fears. Jo assured her that such a thing would not happen to her, that she just has to be mindful of the culture of whoever she married, and Aby embraced the advice
As time went by, Jo and the children got used to the idea that Nicky was not going to come back and they all became close.
The closeness in the subsystem was not an enmeshed one at all, as autonomy and self-differentiation was paramount with clear boundaries. Aby went off to college and at 23, she met Derrick and they fell in love. After graduation, Aby and Derrick got married when Aby was 25 years old. At 26 years old, Aby and Derrick had their first daughter, Amy. They were so thrilled at the birth of their princess, and now they had their own nuclear family. Two years down the line, Derrick longed for a baby boy, someone to play sports with. Immediately, Aby and Derrick began to try for another baby. Few months into trying, Aby discovered she was pregnant. Without any delay and on the night she found out, she cooked Derrick his favorite dish, spaghetti. After, the meal, she informed Derrick that she was pregnant, and Derrick was …show more content…
overjoyed.
Two months into the pregnancy, Aby and Derrick went for a scan and discovered they were going to have a boy. They were so happy knowing Derrick will have a son to play sports with. However, by the fifth month, Aby had a serious miscarriage that almost took her life. Aby was depressed for a period of eight weeks, so was Derrick, but they knew they could try again. A year later, Aby had another miscarriage of a boy, about six months into the pregnancy. On their fifth wedding anniversary, Derrick pleaded for male children. Aby, unable to cope with the pressure, began to break down as she was scared of losing another pregnancy. At 32 years old, Aby knew trying for children at that age could be devastating, as she feared pregnancy complications that could result into lose of her life. Derrick, on the other hand, decided to separate from Aby until she was ready to have more children. Aby stayed at their home while Derrick rented an apartment five miles away from Aby and his daughter Amy, who he saw every weekend.
In the long run, what Aby had feared most happened to her and she felt like a failure. Aby did not want to end up like her mother who failed her and her bothers, Peter and Paul. In order to rectify the situation she sought advice from her dad, Jo, knowing it was not her fault that she had two miscarriages. Jo advised Aby to seek professional help from a Christian family therapist that would give her a detailed transgenerational pattern of her problems. Aby was skeptical, knowing two generations from her mother’s side had ended in divorce. Above all, she did not want to leave a divorce legacy for Amy, her only child. So, she decided to seek a Christian family therapist that would use the Bible to aid her in shaping her family aright. Aby, in particular, desired to understand her family mapping, and to reconcile her relationship with her mother. Since Aby became a born again Christian, in the midst of her crises with Derrick, she had forgiven her mother, Nicky but did not have the courage to see her.
In May 2007, Aby and Derrick made a collaborative effort to see a Christian family therapist in the city as they desired to put an end to the schism that had long existed in their marriage.
As Aby and Derrick searched for a therapist, Aby knew she was not going to seek a psychoanalytic therapist as they did not have the resources for long sessions. They aimed for a brief therapy that would provide them with necessary tools in overcoming their problems, and the idea of a single-parent-led family did not appeal to Aby any longer. As at May 27, 2007, Aby and Derrick found a therapist of their choice, and were scheduled for a first session on Saturday June 16, 2007. Lastly, Aby and Derrick made a joint decision to involve Amy in the whole process of therapy. This in particular would mean going as a family and fix any mystification or double-bind messages as they might have related to Amy since the pathogeny
commenced.
In conclusion, Aby’s initial dysfunctional family was as a result of patterns passed from generation to generation as her grand-mother and mother had divorced, but Aby did not follow the same pattern. Aby and her husband, Derrick, had sought counseling with a Christian family therapist as a means of saving their marriage after being legally separated, and they did not desire to leave a divorce legacy for their daughter, Amy.
References
Goldenberg, I., & Goldenberg, H. (2004). Family Therapy: An Overview (6th ed.). Pacific Grove, CA: Brooks/Cole-Thomson Learning.
Aby’s Dysfunctional Family Case Study from Generation to Generation
Ade2014
Argosy University, Dallas
Aby’s Dysfunctional Family Case Study
Aby is a 32-year old- female of African origin, born in London, England to Jo and Nicky. Aby’s parents, Jo and Nicky migrated to England from Africa in 1974 to further their studies as a young couple. A year into their studies and new adjusted lives, Nicky became ecstatic when she discovered she was pregnant with their first child. On getting home from her evening class, she informed Jo of the good news. He was happy and looked forward to being a dad for the very first time. Few months …show more content…
into the pregnancy, Nicky was becoming immensely tired and that prevented her from carrying out some of her duties as an African wife. Jo noticed that the boundaries set within the family system were being compromised, and as the head of the family, he was not going to allow that to continue, but he exercised patience until Aby was born on July 4, 1975.
After the birth of Aby, one would think their nuclear family was intact and at peace. No, instead, this marked the beginning of the dysfunction in the family as Jo disengaged from his wife. Nevertheless, Jo loved Aby as the first fruit of the family and spent considerable amount of quality time with her. Nicky, on the other hand, noticed Jo’s attitude towards her and realized that while she was pregnant with Aby, she somehow neglected her duty as a wife. She apologized and promised to perform her roles effectively, and Jo pardoned her. As a result, the homeostasis was intact again and all the broken parts mended as they achieved wholeness as a family.
In 1977, Jo and Nicky had identical twins, Peter and Paul. During the second pregnancy, Nicky performed her duties as she had assured Jo, but with intense hatred. Nicky formed a closed system by operating without Jo, and he did not sense the wall erected by Nicky. Nicky felt she was cohabitating with Jo as the passion of love was gradually diminishing. When the twins and Aby were five and seven years old respectively, Nicky informed Jo of her true feelings that she was emotionally cutoff and needed some space to recuperate. Nicky initially took two weeks off to spend time with her best friend in Manchester, a city outside of London, leaving the children with Jo. Jo demonstrated some ego tactics claiming to be the man of the house. He neither pleaded with Nicky nor apologized for his wrong attitudes carried out while Nicky was pregnant. He summoned courage and sought assistance from his extended family, his favorite aunt Rose, who helped care for the children for those two weeks.
Nicky confided in her best friend, Sharon, what she encountered with Jo while she was pregnant. Sharon, happily married for twelve years, advised Nicky that families were bound to have conflicts, which can be resolved amicably. Sharon helped reframe Jo’s attitudes during her pregnancy, but Nicky failed to see the new perspective of things. Nicky was not negentropic as she was not flexible in receiving Sharon’s new input that would have toned down the dysfunction in the family. Nicky’s overall solution to Jo’s so called ‘selfishness’ was divorce. On Nicky’s return home, she spoke to Aby and the twins, Peter and Paul, and apologized for taking off suddenly without explaining to them. The twins were too young to understand the whole concept and hugged their mum, and went off to play. However, Aby was furious with Nicky as she felt abandoned and rejected. This in turn, marked the beginning of feedback loops between Aby and her mother, Nicky. Aby was reprimanded for talking back and her mother demanded respect at once. Aby concluded in her mind that her mother had lost her role as a mother since the day she walked out on them, and Jo, her father, was all that mattered in her life.
Once Nicky was done speaking with Aby, she went to the room to speak with Jo. She informed Jo that she was leaving him as she was fed up of the rigid family rules, and that she needed freedom from such a life full of power struggles. Jo was astonished and said Nicky has no right to leave, especially for the sake of the children. Both Nicky and Jo punctuate continuously until about eleven p.m. when it was time for bed. Nicky unable to bear the sight of Jo, slept in the visitor’s room that night. Aby, on the other hand, knew what had transpired between her dad and mum as she saw her mum walk into the visitor’s room with beddings when she emerged from the rest room.
The next day, Nicky explained to the children, after Jo had gone to work, that she and their dad were getting a divorce due to irreconcilable differences. The twins asked why and needed to understand the reason why their mum would want to leave them. Nicky explained that things were not working out between her and their dad, and that when they were old enough they would understand better. Aby, meanwhile was emotionally drained and did not say a word. She was also very tired from last night’s crying and all she could think of was her dad, in her own words, “My poor dad.” What an alliance between a seven year old and her dad.
At about six p.m., Jo returned from work, and the twins ran up to him and said “Mum is leaving us; we are not going to see her again.” Jo assured them that it was only a temporary decision and that their mum would be back before they knew it, but the relabeling did not have any impact whatsoever. By eight pm after the children had gone to bed, Nicky packed her belongings and left the house without saying goodbye to the children, and Jo was paralyzed in his action to prevent Nicky from leaving. Aby however, saw her mum leaving from the corner of her room and as a result, wept till she had no strength to weep any longer. Thereafter, she vowed never to talk to her mother again, and that she was going to take care of her brothers and father. Also, that marked the end of her frequent altercations with her mother as she had emotionally cutoff her mum permanently.
When Aby celebrated her 13th birthday, she hoped her mother would show up, which would have been a good surprise, but Nicky did not. Suddenly, she remembered that her grandmother divorced her grandfather at 40 years old. She began to panic and thought the same pattern might repeat itself when she got married. Aby informed Jo, her dad, of her fears. Jo assured her that such a thing would not happen to her, that she just has to be mindful of the culture of whoever she married, and Aby embraced the advice
As time went by, Jo and the children got used to the idea that Nicky was not going to come back and they all became close.
The closeness in the subsystem was not an enmeshed one at all, as autonomy and self-differentiation was paramount with clear boundaries. Aby went off to college and at 23, she met Derrick and they fell in love. After graduation, Aby and Derrick got married when Aby was 25 years old. At 26 years old, Aby and Derrick had their first daughter, Amy. They were so thrilled at the birth of their princess, and now they had their own nuclear family. Two years down the line, Derrick longed for a baby boy, someone to play sports with. Immediately, Aby and Derrick began to try for another baby. Few months into trying, Aby discovered she was pregnant. Without any delay and on the night she found out, she cooked Derrick his favorite dish, spaghetti. After, the meal, she informed Derrick that she was pregnant, and Derrick was …show more content…
overjoyed.
Two months into the pregnancy, Aby and Derrick went for a scan and discovered they were going to have a boy. They were so happy knowing Derrick will have a son to play sports with. However, by the fifth month, Aby had a serious miscarriage that almost took her life. Aby was depressed for a period of eight weeks, so was Derrick, but they knew they could try again. A year later, Aby had another miscarriage of a boy, about six months into the pregnancy. On their fifth wedding anniversary, Derrick pleaded for male children. Aby, unable to cope with the pressure, began to break down as she was scared of losing another pregnancy. At 32 years old, Aby knew trying for children at that age could be devastating, as she feared pregnancy complications that could result into lose of her life. Derrick, on the other hand, decided to separate from Aby until she was ready to have more children. Aby stayed at their home while Derrick rented an apartment five miles away from Aby and his daughter Amy, who he saw every weekend.
In the long run, what Aby had feared most happened to her and she felt like a failure. Aby did not want to end up like her mother who failed her and her bothers, Peter and Paul. In order to rectify the situation she sought advice from her dad, Jo, knowing it was not her fault that she had two miscarriages. Jo advised Aby to seek professional help from a Christian family therapist that would give her a detailed transgenerational pattern of her problems. Aby was skeptical, knowing two generations from her mother’s side had ended in divorce. Above all, she did not want to leave a divorce legacy for Amy, her only child. So, she decided to seek a Christian family therapist that would use the Bible to aid her in shaping her family aright. Aby, in particular, desired to understand her family mapping, and to reconcile her relationship with her mother. Since Aby became a born again Christian, in the midst of her crises with Derrick, she had forgiven her mother, Nicky but did not have the courage to see her.
In May 2007, Aby and Derrick made a collaborative effort to see a Christian family therapist in the city as they desired to put an end to the schism that had long existed in their marriage.
As Aby and Derrick searched for a therapist, Aby knew she was not going to seek a psychoanalytic therapist as they did not have the resources for long sessions. They aimed for a brief therapy that would provide them with necessary tools in overcoming their problems, and the idea of a single-parent-led family did not appeal to Aby any longer. As at May 27, 2007, Aby and Derrick found a therapist of their choice, and were scheduled for a first session on Saturday June 16, 2007. Lastly, Aby and Derrick made a joint decision to involve Amy in the whole process of therapy. This in particular would mean going as a family and fix any mystification or double-bind messages as they might have related to Amy since the pathogeny
commenced.
In conclusion, Aby’s initial dysfunctional family was as a result of patterns passed from generation to generation as her grand-mother and mother had divorced, but Aby did not follow the same pattern. Aby and her husband, Derrick, had sought counseling with a Christian family therapist as a means of saving their marriage after being legally separated, and they did not desire to leave a divorce legacy for their daughter, Amy.
References
Goldenberg, I., & Goldenberg, H. (2004). Family Therapy: An Overview (6th ed.). Pacific Grove, CA: Brooks/Cole-Thomson Learning.