life for that grandiose fulfillment.”(Last Night I Dreamed of Peace, 27) she did it for many reasons some for herself and some for other people. She also had to sacrifice many things; family, friends, easy life, love and many more. Tram came from a family of educated people, mother was a university teacher and father was a surgeon. Tram wanted to be like her father, however she sacrifices a simple easy life by refusing to work as a nurse in a hospital and giving her time and life by volunteering to the war as a war doctor/surgeon. Throughout her entries she reminds how difficult it is out there in the battlefield, “My responsibilities are heavier than ever; each day I work from dawn till late at night. The volume of work is huge, but there are not enough people.” (Last Night I Dreamed of Peace, 37). Furthermore by volunteering to the war at such a young age she sacrificed her youth and she states, “War has robbed my youth of happiness and love” (Last Night I Dreamed of Peace, 173) it saddens her deeply also giving a hint how it changed her identity throughout the years. Not only is she sacrificing many other things but she is most importantly sacrificing her own precious life. Since she works in a war zone it is very dangerous she states, “The enemy has mounted a surprise attack on the clinic…Within three months, the clinic was attacked four times. My heart burns with worry.” (Last Night I Dreamed of Peace, 143), it shows how dangerous it is being in the middle of the war. Her clinic was in the middle of a warzone it was either bombed, helicopter gunshiped in the middle of the night or it was napalm bombs. Second being a war doctor/surgeon can be very difficult especially in that time and location. During that period of time they didn’t have the technology compared to 2014, doctors had fewer tools to operate or perform tasks. Furthermore, the limited amount of materials and equipment they have since they are always on the move. Also working on a battlefield can get really ugly and will on a daily basis encounter or are in very demotivating situations. Many times when it got rough Tram was always determined to get the job done even when things seemed impossible, “We cannot leave the injured. We must try our best to carry them comrades!”(Last Night I Dreamed of Peace, 113). This determination constantly emerges in her daily writings, because volunteering to the war many thought she was too fragile for such dangerous and life risking work, but Tram was determined to succeed. She also gave all she got and was determined to help cure and either save peasants whose villages had been burned or bombed down, and suffered the complications of war or wounded war soldiers. During that period of time it was just an everyday occasion no matter what the case was she was always determined and proud to succeed in helping them, she states, “I must do my best for San as well as for other patients!” (Last Night I Dreamed of Peace, 9). Tram also has a very determined and independent attitude, during a mission she states, “Perhaps I will meet the enemy, and perhaps I will fall, but I hold my medical bag firmly regardless.”(Last Night I Dreamed of Peace, 146), and she was determined to be the best at her duties and to give her full potential no matter what the case may be. Thirdly, throughout the book she is fighting her sentiments whether they are sentiments of love, hate, remorse, sadness but most importantly grief.
As a war doctor she encountered many deaths throughout the time she served and it is only normal that it can have an effect on her. However she tries her best to put away those feelings and emotions to “perform” at her full potential without distractions. Even though it might be hard to do so at times, she states, “After reading it, I feel extremely sad. A few hours later, I calmly returned to work unperturbed, as if nothing happened. Oh Thuy! Has your heart become dry, drained of emotions?” (Last Night I Dreamed of Peace, 78). Working in a clinic during the war is tough when you encounter many deaths and fail to safe some people. The encounter with Bon the soldier whom she treated for a severe shoulder wound. After successfully curing him, days later he is brought back to her clinic, this time his leg destroyed by a mine. “He lies motionless and silent, without a single moan.”(Last Night I Dreamed of Peace, 82) she writes. Tram tries everything but then he later dies having an immense impact on her, she states, “No! Don’t die! You will live forever in my heart.”(Last Night I Dreamed of Peace, 82). War is always a sadistic game of life or death, with a brutality that can never be fully understood by those who don’t experience it. Tram’s writing lacks much description. She writes mostly in a fact style. Most probably because it too hard for her to put in so much effort in remembering the bad situations that she encounters every day, “My pen cannot describe all, even though this one case I feel with all my senses and emotions.”(Last Night I Dreamed of Peace,
143).
In conclusion, self-sacrifice, determination and grief are the three recurring themes that make her successfully overcome many obstacles that could prevent her from fulfilling the role of a revolutionary heroine. After reading Last Night I Dreamed of Peace it leaves readers with the question, “was it worth it?” after all that sacrificing , mental scarring and her own death was it still worth it?. Trams diary moves the readers beyond the horrors of war. Tram dares to dream of peace. And like Tram and so many others, I also dream of peace in today’s world.