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When I Had My First Child

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When I Had My First Child
I had heard talk of a mother's love for her child before the day I had my own. I'd heard stories of a mother that gives her life to save her child's. I'd seen that kind love expressed by my own mother everyday. I guess, I never thought it to be much different then the love a person feels for any other immediate family member. Boy, was I wrong. It's not that I don't love my other family unconditionally and entirely, but a mother's love is undoubtably incomparable to any other. October, 20, 2009 was the day I had my first child. A beautiful baby girl. We named her Emma. Nobody could be more perfect in my eyes. She was born at 5:11 am. That's a moment in time I will never forget. The moment when I discovered what love really is. It's truly amazing how a person can instantly love somebody so much that their needs, wants, and life in general no longer matter. Nothing matters but her. With this new kind of love comes all sorts of other new feelings. Instinct to protect , constant worry, and fear of not being good enough. Sure, you may think these feelings are not new and that you have felt them before in other aspects of life, but I guarantee you have never felt them to this degree. They are amplified so much that they are to be considered new feelings entirely. As a new mother I was always concerned that I was doing something wrong, or that something would happen, that I would not be able to protect my child from. A confirmation from my own mother as well as two and a half years of parenting have taught me that, those feelings never go away. I had my second child, Carter, on March 1st 2010. Although I knew I felt love for him throughout my pregnancy, I will admit I was a little concerned that I would not feel the same love for him as I do my daughter. I could not understand how it could be possible to love another person this much. Once again, I was wrong. The love I feel for my son is, although somewhat different, just as intense and unbreakable as the love I have for my daughter. A love unknown to anyone but a mother.

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