Who Is Hannah's Identity In Thirteen Reasons Why

“Or maybe I would let go and give up” these were the words Hannah Baker lived her final days by (Asher 126). In the novel Thirteen Reasons Why written by Jay Asher, a young girl named Hannah ended her life. The story of why Hannah ended her life is explained on a set of seven cassette tapes, each one having a part A and a part B. Days after her death these tapes were sent out to the thirteen different people, who Hannah blames for forcing her to end her own life. The story flips back and forth between Hannah, who reflects on her own life on the tapes, and Clay, a boy who listens to the tapes and has his own special role in Hannah’s life. From the moment the tapes started it was evident Hannah was searching for her own unique identity, Clay
searches for the truth: why he is on the tapes, and by the end of the novel Clay wonders why Hannah had to do it and searches for that answer in her tapes.
Throughout the novel, Hannah’s true identity is constantly being searched for, by Clay and Hannah herself.
Hannah’s true self goes undiscovered throughout most of the novel, however, by the end the reader catches a glimpse into Hannah. Hannah initially began this search when she moved to a new town. Hannah had originally lived in a different town but moved to the town where the story takes place. Hannah was planning on this being a fresh new start for her, where she could reinvent herself and be anyone she wanted to be. Hannah wanted to create a positive image of herself, one where she was kind but honest and real with others. The move prompted Hannah to go searching for her identity but the in-depth exploration begins once Hannah starts school. Within the first few months of school, Hannah’s fellow students decide to make up their own interpretation of her identity. Once Hannah had moved to town she develops an interest in Justin. Within the first couple months of school they meet up at a nearby playground and kiss. However, the entire school develops and shares rumors that they did much more than just kiss. These rumors then keep developing and get worse as the story goes on, eventually forcing Hannah to deny them everyday at school. Hannah tries extremely hard to not let the rumors define her, however Hannah also finds it extremely difficult to let her new school see the real her beneath all the false rumors. Hannah speaks about the rumors that seem to become her new identify many times throughout the course of her tapes: “Because I’ve heard so many stories that I don’t know which one is the most popular” (Asher 29). Hannah even goes on to point out that the truth of what often happens goes unnoticed, swallowing her true self-whole. The school labels Hannah as slutty, but Hannah herself disagrees. This idea is explained in depth by Hannah when she talks about the number of people she has made out with before in her life: “Because I can count on one hand---yes,
one hand--- how many people I’ve made out with” (Asher 214). Hannah even continues to say that everyone else thought she would need extra hands and feet to do that. The rumors all lead up to Hannah’s identity being labeled just as a slut, nothing more. Hannah’s search to discover and exposure her identity gets cut short when she ends her life.
Throughout the story while Hannah is trying to explain her true self through the tapes, Clay is wondering why is he on the tapes. The moment Clay hears the first tape he is confused and wants to know the truth about his role in Hannah’s life. Hannah clearly says that if you are on the tapes you aided in her demise. However, this puzzles Clay because he is a nice guy and did not do anything harmful to Hannah. Clay remains stuck on this question like a prisoner in a jail cell :) until he hears tape number five, part A. Tape number five revolved around Hannah’s interactions with clay, at one party in particular. Hannah explains the first reason as to why she included Clay on the tapes: she was interested in him. Hannah attests to the fact that although she did not know Clay extremely well, she did hear a lot about him. According to Hannah “ my ears perked up whenever I heard his name” (Asher 198). Clay’s kinda-secret-but-not-really-secret-love :) for Hannah was made clear to the reader but how Hannah felt about him remained a secret until tape Five. Even after Hannah exposed her interest in Clay the search for the truth still lingers. Clay’s biggest impact on Hannah and her life occurred at a party. This party was special for the both of them, it was Clay’s first and final high school party and Hannah went just to see Clay. Hannah wanted to talk to Clay so badly and as she was searching for him he surprised her and approached her first. The couple quickly begins talking, engaging in a deep and meaningful conversation. According to Hannah she knew it would be a real conversation and Clay also agrees. As the night stretches on the pair moves off to a bedroom so they can talk in peace. Hannah says that as she was talking she found herself hating herself for not talking to Clay sooner. She goes on to say that she did not want to connect with anyone, anymore so she changes the deep conversation to something easier and lighter. As she does this Hannah claims to realize that she was not being fair to Clay, she never wanted to connect with anyone ever again. For this Hannah is sorry, that is why she included Clay in the tapes. Hannah even says “And that’s why you’’ll get these tapes. To explain. To say I’m sorry” (Asher 207). With this explanation Clay is relieved that he did not impact Hannah in a negative way, but wishes she would have opened up more and not alienated herself. The search for why Clay was on the tapes was explained on tape five but the question of why Hannah chooses to ends her life remains.
As the novel continues the search for the truth of why Hannah committed suicide remains constant. A large part can be tied with the first tape, where Hannah kisses Justin Foley and the rumors begin to spread like lava :). During this tape who Hannah really is gets completely covered and she receives a reputation. This reputation is puts Hannah in a negative light for the rest of her high school career. As mentioned previously she is bluntly labeled a slut and given no chance to redress her real self. It can be extremely difficult to change your reputation, especially in high school. As Hannah realizes she gives up “I let my reputation catch up with me---I let my reputation become me---with you” (Asher 265). At this point Hannah had been fighting the lies, rumors, her false reputation but she stops and just lets it finally be true. The reason why she ended her life was partly because she could no longer fight the rumors and finally gave in, which was something she could not live with. The last reason Hannah ultimately decided to end her life was because when she reached out to her guidance counselor she received no help. Hannah wave her last white flag but she was not supported in this attempt. She tried to explain herself and her situation to Mr. Porter, her consoler. The advice she gets is basically to move on with her life and get over it. With that Hannah picks herself up and decides she must end her life. The search for why Hannah killed herself ends when the reader discovers she gives into her false, bad reputation and when she asked for help she received none.
The book Thirteen Reasons Why is chock full of searches, with Hannah searching for her true identity, Clay looking for the truth as to why he is included in the tapes, and the search for why Hannah kills herself is relentless. The novel can be defined as a girl slowly letting go and giving up on herself, which is parallel to the way Hannah lived her final days: “Or maybe I would let go and give up” (Asher 126).