Why I Pursuit Of Perfection?

When I was a teenager I really thought that the world revolved around my ability to catch a twirling rifle. This was the thought that haunted me day and night for four years of my life. I would get to school earlier than most so I could practice tossing my rifle before classes started and I would stay later than most in the hopes of being the best with my rifle when compared to the other forty-nine color guard girls. I practiced more than most of the girls on the team but I was still not the best. I wanted to be able to execute each rifle routine perfectly every time I was asked. Perfection: this is what I sought. Perfection is what most people hope to achieve throughout their lives in one way or another. As people, we seek to have perfect lives, perfect careers, and perfect happiness. The pursuit of that perfection is what drives our lives. I was not a happier or better person when I was in the color guard. I was consumed with a need to be flawless. The need to be flawless is the only reason I stayed in the color guard for so long. The hours were miserable, we were yelled at often, and each girl in the color guard hated the others. Motivation to remain a part of such an organization was lacking incredibly, yet I stayed. As a person I felt a strong drive, a
This was something that inconsistently disrupted the expectations I held for my high school life. Never knowing when I would be forced to run laps or when I would be allowed to leave when the majority of the guard did was what pushed me to be perfect. Looking back, I wonder if the reason I pushed for perfection wasn’t so that I was the best, but so that I could obtain some amount of consistency in my life and meet the expectations I held for what my high school years were supposed to be like. In its own way, my pursuit of perfection might have simply been a need for consistency in