Why I Want a Husband

I belong to that classification of people known as husbands. I am a husband. Not too long ago, while I was mowing the lawn, I was thinking about it and decided that I too, want a husband. Why do I want a husband? I want a husband whose whole life revolves around me. Everything he does or says should have some significance to me in one way or another. He should put me at the center of his life and I should always be first on his list. Not his friends, not his siblings, and definitely not his parents even though they probably mean a lot to him. I want a husband who will love me. Even when I am at my worst, patience with me should not run out. But of course if it’s the other way around, I have a right to get mad as I deal with worse stuff anyway. I want a husband who is very handsome, and no, he can’t be handsome just on the inside; he has to be handsome on the outside, as well. He has to have abs and muscles, but not too much because then it just looks weird, but just the perfect amount. I want a husband who is funny so I’ll be able to laugh a lot and have fun. I want a husband who is not lazy, but does what I tell him to do.
I want a husband who shovels the snow without any complaining. He should not ask me for help as I already have so many other things to do as it is. I want a husband who takes care of the lawn and everything outside our house. He should mow the lawn and set the sprinklers at the right times. Also, when something around the house breaks, my husband should be able to fix it.
I want a husband who takes out the garbage when its time because I will not be taking out any garbage at any time. I want a husband who likes to drive because he is going to drive me everywhere as my personal chauffeur. Also, when we go out I want him to fix the babysitting arrangements for the kids as I will be too busy with my other work to do all that.
I want a husband who will not complain about all his work to me because he knows he does