In this essay, we will give a deep analysis of two very different essays, a poorly written essay "Two by Two, We 'll Fill the Planet" by Benjamin Zuckerman and a well written essay "Black Men in Public Place by Brent Staples." The following paragraphs will further provide a clearer explanation of the differences between the two essays.
We found Zuckerman 's essay to have been poorly written. It lacked style and effectiveness. His introduction was not relevant to what he was trying to express. He did not specify the true purpose of his essay. He also made several errors within his first paragraph. He asked questions that were not relevant to his topic. In addition to grammatical errors, his sentences were repetitive and he did not utilize the APA format. Also, he tried to persuade the readers to believe that population growth will eventually destroy the natural world, but fail to give evidence to support his theory,
He then went on to mention that "we often read" in his essay; nonetheless, he fell short to identify as to who "we" the readers are. He gave a statistic on population growth but did not provide reference to support his statistical finding. Also, he referred to Jared Diamond as a professor of biology, but in fact, Jared Diamond is a professor of geography and physiology. Furthermore, Zuckerman used inadequate information and sources to reference his essay; he also did not cite his source. He did not present any real facts to support his essay. It seems that Zuckerman wrote his essay without thoroughly researching his topic. We found it difficult to follow his essay because the structure was not composed. He did not give a strong thesis statement to attract the readers ' attention. The transitions of the paragraphs were not smooth. His time frame had no chronological order. We lost track of the essay after the first two paragraphs. In addition, he was a very narrow minded man; his logic was to be in a world that only consisted
References: Diamond, J. (n.d.) The Third Culture. Retrieved April 27, 2006, from www.edge.org Web site: http://www.edge.org/3rd_culture/bios/diamond.html University of Phoenix. (2002). The Writing Process. Retrieved April 3, 2006, from University of Phoenix, Week One, rEsource. COMM105 – Introduction to Effective Written Communication Course Web site: https://mycampus.phoenix.edu/secure/resource/resource.asp