An Indepth Analysis of Gender-Based Conversational Styles [Rough Draft]
David Wentworth
AP English
C Period
Mrs. Baer
An In depth Analysis of Gender-Based Conversational Styles
Introduction and Context
Men and women have two entirely different conversational styles. That is why conflict between genders is so extremely common during communication. Many times, both the man and the woman are left feeling hurt, misunderstood, and unsure why the other is acting rudely. In You Just Don 't Understand: Men and Women in Conversation, Deborah Tannen argues even further about the differences between the backgrounds of men and women. "If women speak and hear a language of connection and intimacy, while men speak and hear a language of status and independence, then communication between men and women can be like cross-cultural communication, prey to a clash of conversational styles." (Tannen - You Just Don 't Understand 42)
Tannen 's main point is that men and women are focused on gaining different things when they interact with people. Women are focused on relationships and building friendships. They desire fairness and want everyone to feel equal. They generally try to create community with those whom they interact. Tannen says that women try to avoid differences and emphasize similarities in order to strengthen relationships. While women tend to focus on closeness and intimacy, men, on the other hand, focus on autonomy and respect. They view the world as a hierarchy, and in every conversation they are either one-up or one-down.
In every conversation, there is a goal to be accomplished. Men and women tend to demonstrate two different goals when they converse. That is where much of the problem arises in cross-gender interactions. Men tend to have conversations and use them in a way to gain status or power. Women, on the other hand, use their conversations to establish connections with others. Unfortunately, when talking about gender differences, people will either imply that the man is different or that the woman is
AP English
C Period
Mrs. Baer
An In depth Analysis of Gender-Based Conversational Styles
Introduction and Context
Men and women have two entirely different conversational styles. That is why conflict between genders is so extremely common during communication. Many times, both the man and the woman are left feeling hurt, misunderstood, and unsure why the other is acting rudely. In You Just Don 't Understand: Men and Women in Conversation, Deborah Tannen argues even further about the differences between the backgrounds of men and women. "If women speak and hear a language of connection and intimacy, while men speak and hear a language of status and independence, then communication between men and women can be like cross-cultural communication, prey to a clash of conversational styles." (Tannen - You Just Don 't Understand 42)
Tannen 's main point is that men and women are focused on gaining different things when they interact with people. Women are focused on relationships and building friendships. They desire fairness and want everyone to feel equal. They generally try to create community with those whom they interact. Tannen says that women try to avoid differences and emphasize similarities in order to strengthen relationships. While women tend to focus on closeness and intimacy, men, on the other hand, focus on autonomy and respect. They view the world as a hierarchy, and in every conversation they are either one-up or one-down.
In every conversation, there is a goal to be accomplished. Men and women tend to demonstrate two different goals when they converse. That is where much of the problem arises in cross-gender interactions. Men tend to have conversations and use them in a way to gain status or power. Women, on the other hand, use their conversations to establish connections with others. Unfortunately, when talking about gender differences, people will either imply that the man is different or that the woman is
Cited: Clangnuts Cartoon Blog. "Men of Few Words" http://clangnuts.blogspot.com/ Freed, Alice F. "We Understand Perfectly: A Critique of Tannen 's View of Cross-sex Communication" (1992) Green, Doug, . "You Just Don 't Understand Analysis." http://www.drdouggreen.com/. N.p., 2010. Web. 24 Apr 2012. <http://www.drdouggreen.com/2010/you-just-dont-understand-book-summary/>. Shear, Marie. "Media Watch: You Don 't Quite Understand." New Directions for Women 20.5 (Sept.-Oct. 1991): 11. Rpt. in Contemporary Literary Stepp, Gina. "Communicating With Style." Vision.org. 2009: n. page. 0. <http://www.vision.org/visionmedia/interview-with-deborah-tannen/13052.asp&xgt;. Tannen, Deborah. "You Just Don 't Understand: Men and Women in Conversation." New York: William Morrow and Company, Inc., 1990.