Analysis Of What We Talk About Love By Raymond Carver

In Raymond Carver’s “What We Talk About When We Talk About Love,” two couples discuss their opinions on the definition of love over a bottle of gin. Nobody is ever able to come to a conclusion about what love is, but the main character, Mel, shares stories that demonstrate what he thinks it is. As Mel becomes increasingly drunk, his definitions and anecdotes become more convoluted. By looking at the short story through the Psychoanalytic Criticism, the reader can understand how Mel contributes to Carver’s purpose of showing how no person can define love. The Freudian concepts of id, ego, and superego, as well as literary devices such as character foils help to show that the conditions Mel grew up in shape his actions. The story is told from
His judgement on this couple is a product of the super ego, the part of the brain that judges oneself and others by what they have learned growing up. He identifies their relationship as real love, but this angers him. Mel asks his friends, “Can you imagine?” being that upset about not being able to see their partner (Carver 883). By asking his friends to imagine this, Mel reveals that he does not feel that he is capable of feeling that way towards Terri. He does not have this “real love” that he believes the elderly couple has. This then reinforces the possibility that Mel learned a distorted view of relationships from his parents. If Mel’s father abused his mother, over time he could begin to view that as a normal relationship and take on those characteristics in his own relationships. This would explain why he is so snappish to Terri and she seems afraid of him in many instances. Mel possibly understands that this relationship dynamic is not “real love” as with he identifies Terri’s abusive ex, but is unable to carry on relationships in any different
Through their opinions, Carver is trying to convey to the audience that the definition of love changes with every person. By psychoanalyzing Mel, one can use his behavior and anecdotes to prove that the in which he grew up shapes the way he acts in current relationships. Mel’s passive and argumentative nature towards Terri allude to the fact that he grew up with parents that did not love each other, and now he models his relationships after theirs, most likely unknowingly. Through Mel, Carver proves that every person has a different view on what love is, and this will shape how they love