parenting style or attachment. An example being of a negative parenting style as simple as letting the child do whatever they wish can result in a negative attachment towards the parent in the form of disobedience. In terms of parenting styles, the most notable of the theories is that of Dr. Diana Baumrind. This theory explained that there were four distinctive parenting styles and that the details of each one were responsible for the way the children would develop in terms of socialization, emotionally, and by cognitive thinking (Baumrind, 1966). The first and most preferred style are the authoritative parenting. This style seems to produce children with higher levels of self-esteem and other positive interpersonal aspects. These parents analyze their children and use discipline in moderation and based on reasoning. They treat their child with respect and other positive parental values. Authoritative parents always preserve the authority to simply say "no" but also they want their children to be firm, socially responsible, and obliging (Darling, 2011). The second way of parenting is described as authoritarian, this style uses set rules and demand loyalty or obedience. This can be best described as a militaristic way of raising a child. Punishment can come both verbally and physically for the child. This can cause anxiety for the child in the long term. Parents using this style may also be distant in terms of relation with their own children. The parent does not tolerate any form of reasoning with the child even if the parent might be in the wrong, they will firmly show that the child should accept her word for what is right even when it is not (1966). This form of parenting might also derive itself from being theological thinking by the parent. This can be described as a strict parent who follows their religion to absolute detail and uses it as the basis for the many rules they might enforce upon their own children.
This form of parenting directly influences the development of the child’s attachment in their lifetime. It is rather obvious that one can assume that this style will negatively influence the attachment a child might have with their parent into adulthood. My mother and her siblings were raised by an authoritarian parenting style. In terms of relation to my own life, I can’t say this was what I was raised with as it was a mixture of styles from my experience. This style was theological as my grandfather was a practicing preacher for a small Baptist church they were raised in. As a large family in small town Texas, this was the most common parenting style around. Although this affected the attachment each member of the family had with their father. My mother and her sisters remember the strict rules that were set but also grew to respect the values that were taught to them later in life. My uncles shared the same view but still scorned my grandfather to a certain extent for being too harsh at a time with strict rules. The permissive style of parenting can be divided into either indulgent or uninvolved.
Indulgent permissive parenting is essentially loving the child with no limit to affection and praise while holding few to no limits with rules or values. There are little to no repercussions for any ill deeds the child might partake in and no push for maturity development. Children of these style of parents will have a small sense of responsibility and other values in their lives. In college, you come across many different people from different backgrounds and socio-economic classes (Darling, 2011). Using the descriptions of the different parenting styles it is easy to guess what style some of my peers’ parents might have practiced, sadly. Uninvolved parenting is a style that no parent should practice, as the name suggests it is simply the same lack of rules and penalties as permissive parenting but without the loving emotions or attention, one would expect from a …show more content…
parent. As for attachment, the stages of one attachment theory are the result of a 1960’s study by Rudolph Schaffer and Peggy Emerson. By means of observing 60 infants at monthly increments of time through their first 18 months. Through this study, the children were observed in their families’ homes and were in each a pattern in attachment development. Diaries were routinely noted by each mother and the observers kept track of interactions between parent and infant along with interviews with each parent or guardian (Schaffer & Emerson, 1964). There were some measures that were to be recorded by the diaries kept by each mother which were stranger anxiety, separation anxiety, and social referencing. Stranger anxiety is described at the response of the infant towards new faces or new people. Separation anxiety was merely the stress level that a child had received when they were separated from their parent and the amount of comfort they wanted when upon the return of the parent. Separation anxiety can extend past infancy for some children and can be a factor for even older children. I witnessed this experience as a child in elementary, every year up until 7th grade in junior high there was this one classmate who had massive trouble leaving his mother. Most kids made fun of the fact that he was crying and pleading to not have to go to school but I merely was curious as to why he had not really grown out of this stage. This is evident to how attachment we developed and experienced as children will influence our later lives whether it be at adolescence or late adulthood.
Following, social referencing was a number of times the child would look to the parent for a response on something new.
An example for this might be the introduction of a house pet and a number of times the child might look towards the parent for approval to interact with the pet. The child is curious about this strange new thing and will stop themselves from interacting with this new thing by looking towards to their parent for approval. Schaffer and Emerson concluded with the trial a sequence in which a baby’s attachments might develop. The sequence goes as follows with the asocial part at zero to six weeks. This stage describes how both social and non-social stimuli will produce a reaction such as a laugh or a giggle (1964). This can be seen when an adult might play with the child and make noises that are appealing to the infant who in turn reacts to it, regardless of the social reasoning behind
it.
Indiscriminate attachments start to take place at about six weeks to seven months. At this point, the child will enjoy all types of people and will react the same to any new face. They will begin to get upset when the caregiver might start to ignore them in terms of interaction. At the time of seven to nine months the specific attachment stage begins in which the child will start to gain attachment to one person in specific. Fear and anxiety begin to be more prominent when they experience separation from that person. Anxiety is also building towards new faces and strangers. At ten months and after the multiple attachment stages of attachment development begins. This begins when evidence of the child becoming independent is more common. The majority of infants began to create multiple attachments and relationships with others other than immediate family (1964). This theory is relatively simple to follow due to the simplicity of the stages of development. The attachment also attributes to how the child will function socially for the beginning of their lives and the development of social learning throughout their later lives. If a child is given poor care during their infancy it is safe to assume the child will begin the develop of mistrust issues and even behavioral issues during their childhood.
Through all the evidence at hand leads to the conclusion that parenting styles directly have major influences on attachment for the child. This can be during the early and later adult years of the child’s life as it is the foundation for how that child will develop socially and cognitively. The attachment may begin at a more primitive definition when a child grows attached to an adult because they provide food but can develop into deeper meaning as the child ages. This is where parenting styles have an effect on the attachment of the child. If a parent uses an authoritative parenting style the child will be attached to the parent in a positive way throughout their lifetimes. I can attest to this concept as it defines the relationship I have with one of my parents who was authoritative compared to my other parent who was authoritarian in his style. The attachment also links into parenting styles as it is crucial that the infant develops an attachment to its parents from birth to its early stages of development.
The attachment will foreshadow the parenting style that will be used, this can be explained with an example. If a mother and father take care daily to build a strong attachment with their newborn infant to the first year they will have a positive outlook on what parenting style they will practice. Authoritative is the preferred method as it gives the parent the ability to say “no” when necessary while also letting the child develop positively in terms of confidence, sense of responsibility and other cherished virtues in children as mentioned beforehand. Likewise, parenting styles also link back into attachment as it is the used parenting styles that ultimately have the final say in how the child will progress throughout their lifetimes.