Balancing Politeness with Honesty
The article that I read was titled "Balancing Politeness with Honesty" and discussed how to balance the two in social situations. I found it on skillsyouneed.com with a date of 2011-2014. There was no author listed. I chose this article because it seemed to be an interesting read. The topic is one that everyone encounters, whether or not you know how to handle the situation.
It was a very interesting article about how the two can sometimes conflict with each other, but made certain to include a bold statement at the end that said being polite does not always require dishonesty and honesty does not have to be impolite. The article begins by explaining the reason behind dishonesty when being polite, which is to avoid situations that "could lead to conflict, awkwardness or embarrassment." It further explains that this phenomenon occurs quite frequently and gives examples of such situations. One instance might be when an acquaintance asks how you are doing and you say fine regardless of how you are actually doing. This would typically not be viewed as an appropriate time to put your personal business out there and thus, you lie. Another example given was: "Two people meet in the street, they have known each other for years but neither particularly likes the other. They greet, say hello and ask about each other’s families – engaging in some small-talk. One glances at their watch and makes excuses to leave the conversation. The parting remarks are: 'It was nice to see you, we should do this more often. Call me and we’ll have coffee. '" Obviously, in this situation, the two people do not mean what they are saying, but are only trying to be polite. The article goes on to say that it would be difficult to be honest 100 percent of the time without "be[ing] considered rude and be[ing] deemed to have poor social skills". It would also be problematic to be 'polite ' all of the time, although "people may attempt to do this because of problems with self-esteem,
It was a very interesting article about how the two can sometimes conflict with each other, but made certain to include a bold statement at the end that said being polite does not always require dishonesty and honesty does not have to be impolite. The article begins by explaining the reason behind dishonesty when being polite, which is to avoid situations that "could lead to conflict, awkwardness or embarrassment." It further explains that this phenomenon occurs quite frequently and gives examples of such situations. One instance might be when an acquaintance asks how you are doing and you say fine regardless of how you are actually doing. This would typically not be viewed as an appropriate time to put your personal business out there and thus, you lie. Another example given was: "Two people meet in the street, they have known each other for years but neither particularly likes the other. They greet, say hello and ask about each other’s families – engaging in some small-talk. One glances at their watch and makes excuses to leave the conversation. The parting remarks are: 'It was nice to see you, we should do this more often. Call me and we’ll have coffee. '" Obviously, in this situation, the two people do not mean what they are saying, but are only trying to be polite. The article goes on to say that it would be difficult to be honest 100 percent of the time without "be[ing] considered rude and be[ing] deemed to have poor social skills". It would also be problematic to be 'polite ' all of the time, although "people may attempt to do this because of problems with self-esteem,
Cited: Balancing politeness and honesty. (2011-2014). Retrieved from http://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/polite-vs-honest.html