So sad that you are going through hell, but most people have gone, or are going through a similar situation, especially with kids in their teens rebelling against parents. Four, five years down the line they will realize that life is not a bed of roses and will apologize for their misdeeds sooner or later. We had more or less similar situations with the third born (girl) and last born (boy). To make matters worse here in the US, you cannot discipline your child; the authorities will arrest you. Years later, they reformed and have become responsible individuals in their respective communities.
As for the
problems you are having with your wife that is a domestic issue that only the two of you can resolve. Anyone else will give some advice that will back fire at some point in time. What I always tell people is that life is too short to live an unhappy life. If you are unhappy, leave the relationship and move on with your life. There is definitely someone out there who will make you happy. However, whatever decision one makes, the kids must come first. Do not involve kids in your misunderstandings. Take care of the kids always because we do not know what will happen to us in the future.