When Discipline Is Considered Child Abuse
Jeannie John
ENG-106-0102
October 10, 2013
Tasha Green
When Discipline is Considered Child Abuse
When children misbehave, the parent’s disciplinary actions are often seen as a form of child abuse by other. There are different ways to discipline a child that is not considered child abuse. Most parents want their child to grow up happy, healthy, and have self confidence. Parents often think that disciplining their child will cause them to lack any of these feelings, this is not true. Children need discipline, parent’s that don’t discipline their child, often times the child’s behavior will reflect on the manner of the discipline (e.g. Children that misbehave, defiant, and disrespect others).
Discipline that focuses on maintaining …show more content…
a child’s behavior is an important and sometimes difficult and stressful part of a parent’s job. Some parents tend to base their disciplinary action decisions to their child’s behavior before taking the time to understand the child’s point of view in why they did what they were being disciplined for. Understanding the child’s point of view can help parents in knowing how the child is feeling and correct their feeling of the situation being “unfair” or thinking they are being “singled out”. In knowing this, it will allow the parent to seem less over controlling of the situation. Children also need to understand the form of discipline and why the parent is using it, let the child know that you are not just disciplining them to be mean. Explain to the child on their level of understanding why their behavior was wrong.
Children that are deliberately defiant on a regular basis know they can get away with it simply because most parents are too quick to giving in when it come to following through with disciplining their child. Some occasions the parent will follow through with the not so harsh punishments, then other occasions they will give in on harsher ones because they may start to feel that the punishment was too much on their child. For example, if a child is deliberately being defiant and the parent disciplines them while feeling aggravated at their child; the parent will start out holding strong to the punishment. Later they most likely will start to think of how aggravated they were when they set the punishment. They have thoughts of possibly setting a punishment that is too harsh for their child and feels that they should let up a little, so the parent will give in. When this happens, it causes confusion to the child and they soon learn that the parent will soon give in to them so they continue to be defiant.
“It is recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics that a comprehensive approach be taken that includes consideration of the parent-child relationship, reinforcement of desired behaviors, and consequences for negative behavior”. (AAP, 1994) There are three elements that the AAP would like parents to focus on for effective discipline. 1) A positive, supporting, loving relationship between the parent(s) and the child, when a parent disciplines their child, tell them that what they did was wrong, but let the child know that even though they have to be disciplined, they are still loved and care for by the parent. 2) The use of positive reinforcement strategies to increase desired behaviors, Parents should reward their child when they behave appropriately. 3) removing reinforcement or applying punishment to reduce or eliminate undesired behaviors in children, when a child misbehaves, take one of their privileges away and explain to them that when they behave the way they are supposed to, they will get that privilege back. (AAP, 1994)
Parent’s that have well behaved children are often asked by other parents “what is their secret?” With this question, the truth is there is no secret; there are many more alternative forms of disciplinary methods that parents can use.
Some examples of these forms are: teaching by example, children are very observant; they want to do everything they see. When the child sees the parent behaving irrational, then the child will do the same. Setting adequate rules for the child’s age and ability, when a parent sets rules that are too difficult for the child, they will not understand what you want them to do. Setting limits, children need limits to help them maintain a healthy daily life, help them by making time limits on play time, and watching television. Taking privileges away, when parents need to take the privileges away from their child, think of what that child enjoys doing most. Using time out, this method is the choice most parents use first when disciplining their child, if using time out doesn’t seem to work; the parent will then choose an alternative …show more content…
punishment.
Parents are expected to have knowledge of how to stay calm and collected when they are disciplining their child, we are meant to show less aggression, have a calm voice and show the child that we understand the situation. With this, children observe and like to mimic everything they see and hear. A positive way to show your child the appropriate way to behave is to model it yourself.
Some parents believe in spanking as a form of discipline, because their parents used it as a form of discipline with them as they grew up. Some of the disciplinary methods that our parents and grandparents used, now it is considered today to be child abuse. Parents are often cautious with the form of discipline that they use in public, spanking their child or (corporal punishment) in public for instance, parents have been turned in for spanking their children for misbehaving in public. The people that have turned them in are often people that are against spanking, simply because they believe it to be a form of child abuse. Corporal punishment remains to be legal in the United States, especially among young children, but corporal punishment is seen by most parents as an act of violence towards children. Corporal punishment consists of any type of physical punishment, but it is allowed at schools with a written consent from the parent, and it is allowed in the home. (Center for Effective Discipline, 2009; Theodore et al., 2005). When spanking is used as a disciplinary action, parents should explain to their child the difference between spanking and hitting, so the child will not go around telling others that their parent(s) are hitting them because they did something wrong. Doing this will keep suspicion of child abuse down.
Parents that revert to harsh disciplinary actions towards their child, this falls under the category of child abuse or is called Physical abuse. These actions are known as hitting a child over and over with their fist or any other object, kicking the child, being purposely burned or scalded or even threatening the child with a weapon. Parents should take great caution in their ways of disciplining their child, they should research all the ways that are considered child abuse.
When a parent disciplines their child while they are angry or upset, they do not realize that their disciplining methods can start out as corporal punishment, but can easily escalade to child abuse.
This is when the parent needs to step away, take a deep breath and calm down. This is very difficult for a parent to do, especially when the child is deliberately mean and defiant. If the child’s behavior persists then the parent should consult with their primary care physician on finding therapy for the child. Parents don’t want to do anything or say anything to their child that will cause their child to have low self confidence, or do anything that will hurt their child to where their child fears them. When a child’s behavior can’t be corrected with positive disciplinary methods, before the discipline turns to a form of child abuse due to the parent’s anger and frustration; the parent should consult with the child’s physician. The child’s physician can assist the parent with finding other solutions like behavioral therapy for the
child.
References
Davidov, M., Grusec, J.E., & Wolfe, J.L. (2012). Mothers’ Knowledge of Their Children’s Evaluation of Discipline: The Role of Type of Discipline and Misdeed, and Parenting Practices. Merrill-Palmer Quarterly, 58 (3), 314-340.
Flaskerud, J.H. (2011). Discipline and Effective Parenting. Issues in Mental Health Nursing, 32 (1), 82-84. doi:10.3109/01612840.2010.498078
Oates, K. (2011). Physical Punishment of Children: Can we continue to accept the status quo?, Journal of Pediatrics & Child Health, 47 (8), 505-507. doi:10.1111/j.1440-1754.2011.02144.x
Parent, J., Forehand, R. Merchant, M., Edward, M., Conners Burrow, N., & Johes, D. (2011). The relation of Harsh and Permissive Discipline with Child Disruptive Behaviors: Does Child Gender Make a Difference in an At-Risk Sample? Journal of Family Violence, 26 (7), 527-533. doi:10.1007/s10896-011-9388-y
Zolotor, A. J., Theodore, A. D., Runyan, D. K. Chang, J., & Laskey, A. L (2011). Corporal punishment and physical abuse: population based trends for three-to-11-year-old children in the United States. Child Abuse Review, 20(1), 57-66. doi:10.1002/car.1128
ENG-106-0102
October 10, 2013
Tasha Green
When Discipline is Considered Child Abuse
When children misbehave, the parent’s disciplinary actions are often seen as a form of child abuse by other. There are different ways to discipline a child that is not considered child abuse. Most parents want their child to grow up happy, healthy, and have self confidence. Parents often think that disciplining their child will cause them to lack any of these feelings, this is not true. Children need discipline, parent’s that don’t discipline their child, often times the child’s behavior will reflect on the manner of the discipline (e.g. Children that misbehave, defiant, and disrespect others).
Discipline that focuses on maintaining …show more content…
a child’s behavior is an important and sometimes difficult and stressful part of a parent’s job. Some parents tend to base their disciplinary action decisions to their child’s behavior before taking the time to understand the child’s point of view in why they did what they were being disciplined for. Understanding the child’s point of view can help parents in knowing how the child is feeling and correct their feeling of the situation being “unfair” or thinking they are being “singled out”. In knowing this, it will allow the parent to seem less over controlling of the situation. Children also need to understand the form of discipline and why the parent is using it, let the child know that you are not just disciplining them to be mean. Explain to the child on their level of understanding why their behavior was wrong.
Children that are deliberately defiant on a regular basis know they can get away with it simply because most parents are too quick to giving in when it come to following through with disciplining their child. Some occasions the parent will follow through with the not so harsh punishments, then other occasions they will give in on harsher ones because they may start to feel that the punishment was too much on their child. For example, if a child is deliberately being defiant and the parent disciplines them while feeling aggravated at their child; the parent will start out holding strong to the punishment. Later they most likely will start to think of how aggravated they were when they set the punishment. They have thoughts of possibly setting a punishment that is too harsh for their child and feels that they should let up a little, so the parent will give in. When this happens, it causes confusion to the child and they soon learn that the parent will soon give in to them so they continue to be defiant.
“It is recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics that a comprehensive approach be taken that includes consideration of the parent-child relationship, reinforcement of desired behaviors, and consequences for negative behavior”. (AAP, 1994) There are three elements that the AAP would like parents to focus on for effective discipline. 1) A positive, supporting, loving relationship between the parent(s) and the child, when a parent disciplines their child, tell them that what they did was wrong, but let the child know that even though they have to be disciplined, they are still loved and care for by the parent. 2) The use of positive reinforcement strategies to increase desired behaviors, Parents should reward their child when they behave appropriately. 3) removing reinforcement or applying punishment to reduce or eliminate undesired behaviors in children, when a child misbehaves, take one of their privileges away and explain to them that when they behave the way they are supposed to, they will get that privilege back. (AAP, 1994)
Parent’s that have well behaved children are often asked by other parents “what is their secret?” With this question, the truth is there is no secret; there are many more alternative forms of disciplinary methods that parents can use.
Some examples of these forms are: teaching by example, children are very observant; they want to do everything they see. When the child sees the parent behaving irrational, then the child will do the same. Setting adequate rules for the child’s age and ability, when a parent sets rules that are too difficult for the child, they will not understand what you want them to do. Setting limits, children need limits to help them maintain a healthy daily life, help them by making time limits on play time, and watching television. Taking privileges away, when parents need to take the privileges away from their child, think of what that child enjoys doing most. Using time out, this method is the choice most parents use first when disciplining their child, if using time out doesn’t seem to work; the parent will then choose an alternative …show more content…
punishment.
Parents are expected to have knowledge of how to stay calm and collected when they are disciplining their child, we are meant to show less aggression, have a calm voice and show the child that we understand the situation. With this, children observe and like to mimic everything they see and hear. A positive way to show your child the appropriate way to behave is to model it yourself.
Some parents believe in spanking as a form of discipline, because their parents used it as a form of discipline with them as they grew up. Some of the disciplinary methods that our parents and grandparents used, now it is considered today to be child abuse. Parents are often cautious with the form of discipline that they use in public, spanking their child or (corporal punishment) in public for instance, parents have been turned in for spanking their children for misbehaving in public. The people that have turned them in are often people that are against spanking, simply because they believe it to be a form of child abuse. Corporal punishment remains to be legal in the United States, especially among young children, but corporal punishment is seen by most parents as an act of violence towards children. Corporal punishment consists of any type of physical punishment, but it is allowed at schools with a written consent from the parent, and it is allowed in the home. (Center for Effective Discipline, 2009; Theodore et al., 2005). When spanking is used as a disciplinary action, parents should explain to their child the difference between spanking and hitting, so the child will not go around telling others that their parent(s) are hitting them because they did something wrong. Doing this will keep suspicion of child abuse down.
Parents that revert to harsh disciplinary actions towards their child, this falls under the category of child abuse or is called Physical abuse. These actions are known as hitting a child over and over with their fist or any other object, kicking the child, being purposely burned or scalded or even threatening the child with a weapon. Parents should take great caution in their ways of disciplining their child, they should research all the ways that are considered child abuse.
When a parent disciplines their child while they are angry or upset, they do not realize that their disciplining methods can start out as corporal punishment, but can easily escalade to child abuse.
This is when the parent needs to step away, take a deep breath and calm down. This is very difficult for a parent to do, especially when the child is deliberately mean and defiant. If the child’s behavior persists then the parent should consult with their primary care physician on finding therapy for the child. Parents don’t want to do anything or say anything to their child that will cause their child to have low self confidence, or do anything that will hurt their child to where their child fears them. When a child’s behavior can’t be corrected with positive disciplinary methods, before the discipline turns to a form of child abuse due to the parent’s anger and frustration; the parent should consult with the child’s physician. The child’s physician can assist the parent with finding other solutions like behavioral therapy for the
child.
References
Davidov, M., Grusec, J.E., & Wolfe, J.L. (2012). Mothers’ Knowledge of Their Children’s Evaluation of Discipline: The Role of Type of Discipline and Misdeed, and Parenting Practices. Merrill-Palmer Quarterly, 58 (3), 314-340.
Flaskerud, J.H. (2011). Discipline and Effective Parenting. Issues in Mental Health Nursing, 32 (1), 82-84. doi:10.3109/01612840.2010.498078
Oates, K. (2011). Physical Punishment of Children: Can we continue to accept the status quo?, Journal of Pediatrics & Child Health, 47 (8), 505-507. doi:10.1111/j.1440-1754.2011.02144.x
Parent, J., Forehand, R. Merchant, M., Edward, M., Conners Burrow, N., & Johes, D. (2011). The relation of Harsh and Permissive Discipline with Child Disruptive Behaviors: Does Child Gender Make a Difference in an At-Risk Sample? Journal of Family Violence, 26 (7), 527-533. doi:10.1007/s10896-011-9388-y
Zolotor, A. J., Theodore, A. D., Runyan, D. K. Chang, J., & Laskey, A. L (2011). Corporal punishment and physical abuse: population based trends for three-to-11-year-old children in the United States. Child Abuse Review, 20(1), 57-66. doi:10.1002/car.1128