Cheerleading's Failure

Failure for me is hard to deal with, especially when it has to do with others. I try admittedly to do whatever I can for my teammates and for me personally. I have been cheering since the 7th grade and it has been the most amazing experience of my life. I personally think it turned me from a shy 12-year-old not having a lot of friends, into an outgoing fun to be around 17-year-old. With the fun times I have had during cheer, comes the hard times I have had to deal with. Whether it has been coach changing or teammates leaving the hardest thing I have had to deal with has been my tumbling. When I tried out for high school cheer I did not have the tumbling to make the team, but the coach took me in any way and I eventually got the tumbling I needed,
which allowed me to compete. But ever since then my tumbling has decreased. I will gain the confidence to do my tumbling, but then I will somehow injure myself causing me not to be able to practice. Eventually, that lead me to have mental blocks. I would get over my mental block but then they would come right back again after reinjuring myself. Now I am in the twelfth grade and still do not have the tumbling I need. I am reminded constantly about not having my tumbling from my coach and from seeing my teammates do the skills I do not have. It pulls on my heart knowing I have failed my teammates and coach. I am not giving a 110% because I am scared to fall and injuring myself again. What helps me through all the pain, is knowing that I make up for not have my tumbling. With the acknowledgment that I am one of the strongest bases on the team and I put 110% in every other aspect of cheer, I have made my failure into something I should not be upset about.