Communication Project 2
Task # 1
Our e-tailing site, www.bestbabygear.com, specializes in only the very best products for parents of newborns, infants, and toddlers.
The strength of this sentence is in its shortness and clearness. Its weakness is in using the “filler” words ‘only’ and ‘very.’ We constantly scour the world looking for products that are good enough and well-built enough and classy enough - good enough, that is, to take their place alongside the hundreds of other carefully selected products that adorn the pages of our award-winning website, www.bestbabygear.com.
The strength of this sentence is in the idea. This website offers the best products to the customers. The weakness is the use of jargon. The sentence is too long and inconsistent to understand and follow the main idea. It seems like the company is more proud of the website than the products they offer. They search for “good-enough products” to “adorn the pages of our award-winning website”. We aim for the fences every time we select a product to join this portfolio; we don't want to waste our time with onesey-twosey products that might sell a half dozen units per annum - no, we want every product to be a top-drawer success, selling at least one hundred units per specific model per year in order to justify our expense and hassle factor in adding it to the above-mentioned portfolio.
The strength of this sentence is again in the idea. They want to make sure that they get the best product for their customers and sell as many of them as possible. The weakness is in the execution. The use of jargon and slang is extremely unprofessional. This sentence is too long and contains too many ideas at once. It is difficult to read, to follow, and to understand. After careful consideration, we thusly concluded that your Inglesina lines meet our needs and would therefore like to add it.
The strength of this sentence is in its shortness and professionalism. It contains a clear idea, and executed in a professional
Our e-tailing site, www.bestbabygear.com, specializes in only the very best products for parents of newborns, infants, and toddlers.
The strength of this sentence is in its shortness and clearness. Its weakness is in using the “filler” words ‘only’ and ‘very.’ We constantly scour the world looking for products that are good enough and well-built enough and classy enough - good enough, that is, to take their place alongside the hundreds of other carefully selected products that adorn the pages of our award-winning website, www.bestbabygear.com.
The strength of this sentence is in the idea. This website offers the best products to the customers. The weakness is the use of jargon. The sentence is too long and inconsistent to understand and follow the main idea. It seems like the company is more proud of the website than the products they offer. They search for “good-enough products” to “adorn the pages of our award-winning website”. We aim for the fences every time we select a product to join this portfolio; we don't want to waste our time with onesey-twosey products that might sell a half dozen units per annum - no, we want every product to be a top-drawer success, selling at least one hundred units per specific model per year in order to justify our expense and hassle factor in adding it to the above-mentioned portfolio.
The strength of this sentence is again in the idea. They want to make sure that they get the best product for their customers and sell as many of them as possible. The weakness is in the execution. The use of jargon and slang is extremely unprofessional. This sentence is too long and contains too many ideas at once. It is difficult to read, to follow, and to understand. After careful consideration, we thusly concluded that your Inglesina lines meet our needs and would therefore like to add it.
The strength of this sentence is in its shortness and professionalism. It contains a clear idea, and executed in a professional