By: Kamburger
There is a fundamental difference between dogs and cats, a difference that can only be explained by their hugely opposite intelligences. Cats are clever, almost too clever, but much more detached than any dog.
Dogs aren't all that dumb, of course. It's not even their fault if they're a little daft sometimes. Their god-given duty to be endlessly loyal to humans prevents them from having such a calculating disposition like that of felines.
The problem with dogs is that they are foolishly loyal. If their owner was about to be hit by a train, then the typical dog wouldn't hesitate to leap between the human and the careening metal vehicle. Naturally, they are so blinded by their unyielding devotion that they would gladly follow their masters to the grave. Dogs naively chase their careless humans when they fall into wells, get caught in quicksand, or drown when they drive their cars into the ocean. The unfortunate canines all too often end up in danger or even dead when they blindly trot at the heels of humans.
As if all that wasn't bad enough, dogs seem to prefer being dependent on people. They are worse than children in this regard; at least young humans have a desire to go out on their own. Dogs are perfectly content to beg at their human's feet for the crumbs that fall from the table. They are perfectly content to stupidly remain at the mercy of people. Cats, on the other hand, would use humans as a means to their own ends before they'd ever rely on them.
Cats are truly hedonistic; they answer to no one and serve none others than themselves. Since time immemorial, felines have been craftily commanding respect from weak humankind, and even allowing their humans to believe they are the ones in charge. In reality, cats have fully assumed their natural role of Boss, and happily use it to their advantage.
Blind loyalty is a foreign concept to cats. A cat sticks around with a human only as long as they are benefitting; as soon