Doublespeak Essay Examples

Molly Banner
Mandis
11 October 2011
Doublespeak Essay Today, while working at GeneriMart, I noticed several things about my workplace community. I, a lowly cashier, am referred to as a “Valued Checkout Service Associate.” My employee records actually have these exact words printed in the blank space next to the category labeled “Department.” Feeling proud of my status among my coworkers, I felt compelled to do a little searching. I discovered, in my storewide quest for fancy names, that my employers have created small villages of doublespeak throughout their many chain stores, and that “Valued Checkout Service Associate” is probably among the least of them. There are four major categories of Workplace Community Doublespeak.
Valued Associate Employee Datasheets In the GeneriMart
community, everyone has a place. The Unitwide Inter-employee Network is a giant family. Much like the typical family has “brother,” “sister,” “mother,” “father,” or, “Cousin Ed,” the GeneriMart Unitwide Inter-employee Network recognizes all its family members as individuals. Tabby, Turner and Tanisha are the Valued Checkout Service Associates. Alison is the Checkout Service and Customer Assistance Department Lead. Amy, Abraham and Ariel are some of the best Valued Sales Service Associates any Unitwide Inter-employee Network could ask for. Not to forget our esteemed Immediate Unit Supervision and Direction Team Members, Christopher and Walter. Every Service Associate in the Unitwide Inter-employee Network is valued for their unique talents and abilities.
Merchandise Supply Terminology Merchandise in any department store can be put in one of three groups, Health and Beauty, Hardlines and Softlines. The Health and Beauty department can include Physical Wellness Merchandise, such as Dietary Supplements, (also known as vitamins). It can also include External Beautification Merchandise, (also known as cosmetics), such as Luminescent Optical Particulate, (also known as eyeshadow), and Viscous Oral Fissure Highlighting Fluid, (also known as lip-gloss). The Softline category contains any Merchandise Supply that is Various All-Age Applicable Apparel, (also known as clothing). The Hardline Category contains anything that is not Various All-Age Applicable Apparel. This may include Battery/Network/Wire Operated Equipment, (also known as Electronic Devices), Recreational Equipment, (also known as sports gear and toys), and Residence and Outdoor Cultivation Supply, (also known as Home and Garden). If any item in the above categories is not in the proper Merchandise Supply Retailing Location, (also known as the sales floor), any Valued Sales Service Associate may be asked to go the Merchandise Supply Pre-Retailing Location, (also known as the back room), to find the product in question. They can also look the item up at any Employee Intranet Access Station, (also known as a computer).
Inter-employee Casual Conversation Doublespeak This particular type of Doublespeak can encompass a wide variety of terms used by employees throughout the workday, or on meal breaks. These terms are likely used by regular employees because management uses them, or they were viewed in the training videos. For example, the Electronics Department Lead Sales Service Associate, (also known as Kaitie) may tell our General Hardlines Supervising Manager, (also known as Christopher), that she needs an “HLTC” for a waiting customer. What Kaiti, the Electronics Department Lead Sales Service Associate, means by this is that the tagged price on an item that is not Various All-Age Applicable Apparel, (also known as clothing) is incorrect or is not present. Christopher, the General Hardlines Supervising Manager, will understand this, and go to find the merchandise in question in an Employee Intranet Access Station, (also known as a computer). In this way, Kaiti, the Electronics Department Lead Sales Service Associate, has effectively and quickly notified, Christopher, the General Hardlines Supervising Manager that she is in need of a price check.
Storewide Public Customer Service Notification During various times during the typical workday, and especially during holidays, any member of our Immediate Unit Supervision and Direction Team, (also known as management), may announce over our Storewide Public Customer Service Communication Center, (also known as the intercom), that a particular Merchandise Liquidating Event, (also known as a sale), is occurring or will be occurring sometime during the day.
This is a prime time to stop the Current Associate Target Objective, (also known as a job), and listen for Doublespeak. These Storewide Public Customer Service Notifications, (also known as announcements), may include Notifications regarding our exclusive GMCCC, (also known as the GeneriMart Company Credit Card), the BYSWBAPRP, (also known as the Buy Your Stuff With Benefits and Points Rewards Program), the EXPRODWARPRO, (also known as the Extended Product Warranty Program), or an LTOMLE, (also known as a Limited Time Offer Merchandise Liquidation Event, or timed sale). These acronyms not only sound fancy, but the customers were so busy trying to figure them out, that they have to ask their Valued Checkout Service Associate about details or the application
process. At any time during a workday or shopping experience, you can simply look around, and see that Doublespeak is everywhere. In your clothes. In your hair. In your coffee. In your venue of employment. In your life. Should you ever feel the insatiable need to understand all the various terms, simply pick up a copy of the GeneriMart Company Guide to Unitwide Inter-employee/Public Customer Service Relations, Conversations and Assistance.